As a young man Eric spent a large amount of his time partying and drinking, and was heading down a path to nowhere, until his uncle challenged him to change. Eric began his career working as a meat salesman in south Chicago and continued into a career in telecom. Eric is now building his company Squeeze with the goal of inspiring and motivating people to make positive change in the world.
“Your actions speak so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Stay hungry, stay foolish” – Steve Jobs
1. Everyone in life will face squeezes, make the best out of them.
No one in the history of the universe faced a life without challenge. We will all face some squeeze, be it in our health, relationships or finances. We must realize it’s not the squeeze that defines us, but how we respond to it.
2. Seek to inspire others.
A life well lived is a life that positively impacted others. Make your goal in life to inspire as many other people as you can, to make as much of a difference as you can, and to help as many other people as you can. Find something that you have a passion for and use it as a vehicle to bring about change in others. One day we will all die, and all that will he left is the lives we impacted and the legacy we left.
3. Understand the happiness equation.
Finding something you love to do + someone to love + something to hope for = happiness. If you are feeling lost and unsure, find something you are passionate about, someone you are passionate about, and a future worth hoping for. Realize that there will always be challenges, there will always be failures and there will always be set backs, but if you have a purpose that keeps you grounded and a support team to hold you accountable, none of these “squeezes” will defeat you.
4. Do something!
You cannot be content to sit on the sidelines in life. If you want something, make it happen. Begin taking small actions every day to achieve the life you want, the universe won’t hand you anything. If you want to achieve anything in life you must begin taking massive action.
Sander Biehn is the author of the book “The Thirty Year Paycheck,” a novel which chronicles the tales of a fictional employee in corporate America. His book uses this character’s story as a back drop to helping people understand the problems corporate 9-5ers are facing and the possible solutions to ensure they come out on top. After nearly 20 years in a corporate sales job, Sander is now pursuing his passion in social media marketing and writing.
“Fortunis Audaces Luvat” – Latin phrase meaning fortune favors the bold.
1. Do Not Allow Money to Be Your Main Motivation.
It is often all to easy to allow a very benign seeming greed to fill our heads and cause us to waste the best years of our lives in careers we hate. Although money is essential to life, it is but one small piece of the puzzle that makes up a passion filled and vibrant existence.
We must never fall into the trap of doing that which we hate for a steady pay check. As Pablo Picasso so eloquently said, “Never permit dichotomy to rule your life, a dichotomy in which you hate what you do so you can have pleasure in your spare time. Look for a situation in which your work will give you as much happiness as your spare time.”
2. You Must Take Care of Yourself First so You can Take Care of Others.
As men, we tend to be (as a whole) rather unselfish when it comes to providing for our families. We are often placed in a situation where the well being of our families results in the detriment of our own lives, and we endure believing it is the best course.
What we do not realize, however, is that when we do not take time to look after our own needs physically, mentally, and emotionally, we operate on a low level of existence, depriving our loved ones of a full and authentic relationship. We do not understand that what is best for us, is by extension best for our loved ones, because it is when we are operating at our highest levels that we are able to serve them in the most meaningful ways possible.
3. Someday Has Got to be Now.
The average U.S. citizen has less than 28,000 days of life to live. 28,000 precious days that once they have passed, are gone forever. And yet, as a society, we live as if we are immortal, living uninspired lives, putting off our dreams and passions for that ever elusive “someday.” If we want to live lives fulls of purpose and joy, we must erase the “someday” notion from our head and make it “today.”
We can no longer put off that which we love for retirement, when our prime years have long since passed. We must seize the day and live as if today were our last day. Our last day to love, our last day to explore, our last day to adventure, and our last day to make a damns worth of a difference on this planet. We must live like we are dying.
4. Start Creating a Runway for Your Dreams.
If you have obligations to family (especially children) then it is rarely the best course of action to hand in your resignation and then begin building your life on your passion. It is essential that you first begin to create a runway that will ensure you have the momentum for success in your endeavors before you give up the income that sustains your family.
If you wish to blog, begin writing in your free time, build a following, and when you start turning a profit, quit your day job and go full time. If you love fitness, get your certification and begin working on the weekends, and when you have developed enough skill and recognition, move into making it your main stream of income.
Do not simply quit because you dislike your current circumstances, rather use your current situation as a springboard into the future that you want for yourself.
5. Live Below Your Means.
Regardless of whether you wish to run a multi million dollar podcast, own a tech startup or continue in your 9-5, your life will be much easier if you make a conscious effort to live below your means. This will make you less dependent on any one stream of income, and allow for you to take a pay decrease when starting a new venture without severely altering your lifestyle.
Even though a smaller house and slower car aren’t sexier, they are a path to the life that you truly desire, the life of your dreams.
As a young man, Dan Peña turned less than $1,000 investment into nearly half a billion. This lead him to create what is now the Quantum Leap Advantage. Dan Peña is the world’s leading high performance coach, having created over $50 billion in equity through his coaching. He is also the author of the book “Your First $100 Million.” Dan now runs high performance seminars at his castle in Scotland.
“Just fucking do it.” – Dan Peña
1. Stop thinking and pull the trigger.
We live in an age of abundant information. With the click of a button, one can download the ideas and thoughts of millions of individuals straight to their computer. Any issue you face can be solved by a quick Google search, and any history test can be aced with a glance at wikipedia.
However, this information has come at a cost. Now more than ever, individuals are in states of permanent planning, the gung-ho, ready, fire, aim mentality of past generations has vanished, replaced instead by an attitude of sparse action taken only after extensive research.
To achieve success, we must realize that experience is the best teacher of all, we must feel the fear of failure and take action anyways. No more sitting and waiting to have all the information, to have the perfect plan laid out. You must take action now!
2. You are the average of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time.
“Show me your friends and I will show you your future.” The words of John Kubleur ring true now more than ever, you cannot be a high achiever while associating with low performers. It is key that you seek out high quality relationships to fill your life with people who will push you, convict you, and challenge you to rise above mediocrity.
If you cannot find people in your area, then, as Charlie Munger put it, “make friends with the eminent dead.” Read classic works, fill your brain with the words of the wisest individuals past and present, because who you associate with will be the key to your future.
3. Schooling and money is not necessary for success.
The lack of a college degree is no excuse for poor performance. Some of the greatest businessmen and talents of our time deferred college in favor of pursuing their goals. You must realize that the keys to success are never external, but internal.
You can have every damn degree and accolade in the world, but without passion, without fire for what you are doing, you will never be a success. It is far better to be a high-school dropout willing to work 20 hour days to accomplish his dreams, than a Harvard graduate dreading every task before him.
4. Mentors Are Essential.
Mentors are the force multiplier on your path to success, they can direct you to where you want to go, and help you avoid the missteps that are so commonly made. When searching for a mentor, you must realize that it is there time, not their money that is the most valuable asset they have to offer.
You must also realize that you bring very little to the table for high caliber mentors that they do not already have, so you must make up for this lack of financial and business resources with a burning passion to succeed.
5. Focus on your passions.
All the money in the world isn’t worth a damn if you are forced to do things you hate to earn it. If you truly want to be a success in life, you must heed the old cliche and follow your passions. Find something that excites you so that you tap dance to work in the morning.
Find something you are so pumped for that you don’t need an alarm to get up, because you couldn’t even sleep knowing that there were missing out on time that you could have been pouring into your life’s dreams.
6. If an idea doesn’t work, pivot, don’t quit.
Many times over the course of your journey, you will fail. That is a simple fact of the game.
However, when something you have invested heavily in fails, don’t waste precious resources trying to salvage a lost cause, and don’t quit unnecessarily. Simply pivot. Tweak your business plan, your product, or your approach until you are able to achieve the success you’ve been working towards
7. Focus on the Few Not the Many.
With the excess of information and opportunities nowadays, it is quite easy to get sucked into the trap of multi-focus. You must learn to have single focus on your one important goal, business, task etx. if you hope to succeed. You only have 100% to give each day, so why not give all of it to the one thing that will change your life the most?
Focus on the 20% of tasks, that will get you the 80% of results and leave the rest to the dogs.
Paul Huljich was the Chairman CEO of Best Corporation a pioneering organic food company with a valuation of over $100 million during its lifetime. After working for decades to build the life of his dreams, Paul’s unchecked stress caught up with him and he suffered a severe mental breakdown. Losing his rights as a citizen and being made a ward of the state, Paul lost everything he had worked so hard to achieve.
After being told that his chronic stress was incurable by the top doctors in the field, Paul decided to take matters into his own hands, becoming a self described guinea pig in his quest to eliminate his stress. After years of research and testing, Paul conquered his stress and has been free from all stress medications for nearly 15 years. From these experiences, Paul wrote the book “Stress Pandemic” an Amazon bestseller that teaches people how to mitigate the stress in their life to live more fully and perform more optimally.
“Take control of your stress before it takes control of you” – Paul Hulijich
1. Optimum Health Is a Prerequisite.
The first key to managing stress is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Luckily, living in such a way that eliminates stress is fairly simple and does not require radical alterations to your lifestyle. This simple morning routine will reduce stress levels by optimizing neurochemicals and hormone levels.
~Wake early (before 7 am)
~Drink 1 liter of room temperature water after waking up
~ Take a brisk walk early shortly after rising
~Juice after your walk
2. Do your heavy lifting in the morning.
Another cornerstone habit to managing stress is to have a healthy sleep schedule. One of the habits that many high performers become sucked into is the past midnight work day. However, by working late at night, you reduce the quality of your sleep and increase the release of cortisol in your body.
3. Remove C.R.A.P. from your diet, replacing them with good mood foods.
Crap or: Caffeine, refined sugar, alcohol, and processed foods, not only contributes to stress and obesity, but also releases chemicals in your body that can increase cortisol, estrogen and several other hormones that raise stress and prevent optimal performance. Exchanging CRAP for “good mood foods” such as all natural and organic meats, vegetables, and fruits will enhance your bodies hormonal balance, neurological function and aid in fat loss and muscle gain.
4. You Must Remain Aware of your actions and your state.
One of the greatest keys to success in all areas of your life is awareness and honest self evaluation. You must be aware of your environment and your responses to it and how they affect your stress levels to operate at levels of peak performance. An awareness of your own physiology and neurology will allow you to head off stress and other issues in your life before their effects become detrimental. The consequences of failing to develop self awareness can be as mild as poor performance or as severe as a mental breakdown similar to Paul’s.
Mark Lee Greenblatt is an attorney based in Washington D.C. having worked several high profile senate corruption cases. Mark spent 5 years and hundreds of hours investigating to gain the information for his book “Valor” which tells the stories of the unsung heroes of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.
“Your either part of the solution or you are part of the problem.” – Eldridge Cleaver
1. Grace Under Pressure
In his book Valor, Mark shares a story about Chris Choay, who, while trying to lead his squad in a flanking maneuver, found himself completely alone and exposed only meters away from the enemies position.
Instead of retreating, Chris calmly raised his rifle and fired…only to find his gun had jammed. He now stood like a fish in a barrel; if any of the insurgents looked over and saw him, he was dead. Calmly lowering his weapon, Chris cleared the chamber, reloaded a new magazine, and engaged the threat, eliminating the remaining hostiles.
Through his actions, Chris demonstrated extreme courage and performance under incredible pressure. It is this grace under pressure, this resiliency to the surrounding environment that we can demonstrate in our own lives when our first world problems causing undue stress and frustration.
Simply take a deep breath and think about Chris and make the decision to face adversity with grace
2. Change your frame of reference
You are not at war, you don’t have enemies firing bullets and rockets over your head, and odds are you never will. In the western society, we often find it so easy to get angry at the smallest things.
When the wifi in our house isn’t as fast as we want it to be, we throw a fit, screaming and swearing at the lifeless modem. When the wait time at our favorite restaurant is longer than we want, we complain and whine about how terrible life is and how we don’t have the time for this (ignoring the four hours we wasted on netflix that afternoon).
However, as 1st world citizens, very few of us have ever experienced true adversity. Few of us will ever know true hunger, few of us will ever know true fear, and few of us will ever face anything in our entire lives that compares to a typical day in the office for guys like Chris Choay.
We need to remember this and see our issues for what they truly are.
3. Show humility
For his book, Mark interviewed Navy SEAL Chris Kyle for several hours. Chris is the most lethal sniper in U.S. history having over 150 confirmed kills (and reportedly as many as 240 total), several bronze and silver stars, and being nicknamed “The Legend” by the SEAL community.
However in all of his interview, Kyle never once mentioned any of these things. In the day of twitter and instagram, we struggle to cook a good steak without bragging about it to our entire social circle, however men of true character are humble in accomplishment and it is the exploits of men like Chris Kyle that remind us of this.
4. Push yourself beyond what you think you are capable of
The Navy SEALs are famous for what they call “hell week” which is 5 and a half days of nonstop mental and physical pain. During hell week, recruits are kept awake for nearly the entire week, receiving a maximum of four hours of sleep, they are forced to run over 200 miles, and sit in the freezing surf of the pacific ocean.
As a society, we have become used to soft living and mundane existences, therefore, whenever a challenge does present itself, we cower away from it, fearing the pain of growth.
As men, we must begin to seek challenge realizing that we are capable of far more than we could ever imagine, and that it is by doing the perceived impossible that we grow.
Dave Asprey is the host and CEO of the Bulletproof Executive podcast and brand. Dave has spent nearly decades as a Silicon Valley investor and entrepreneur and has invested over $300,000 testing various bio hacks performance drugs.
Through his testing, Dave lost over 100 lbs. and raised his IQ 20 points. From his experiences Dave wrote the Bulletproof diet, which is focused on teaching normal people how to optimize their lives for top performance in all areas.
“The goal of life is not to accumulate power but to radiate it.”- Henry Miller
1. Success is about what you give, not what you get.
Society has taught us to believe that success comes when we “get” something. We have been told that we have achieved success when we have that new Ferrari, the house on the beach, the beautiful women, or the multi-million dollar business. In reality, success is about what you give. Success is about what you can contribute to society and how many lives you can change with your talents and passions. True success is selfless.
2. Challenge long held beliefs and experiment for yourself.
In his early 20’s, Dave was almost 100 lbs. overweight. Dave hired a personal trainer and began following all the conventional wisdom of eating fewer calories, and training for hours a day. After months of no results, Dave decided to take his health into his own hands and figure out how to hack his biology for optimal weight loss. After he finished his experimenting he was able to lose and keep off over 100 lbs. of fat. This taught Dave that conventional wisdom is often wrong and success often requires challenging long held beliefs and experimenting for yourself.
3. Eliminate as many unnecessary decisions as possible.
Willpower is a finite resource. Filling your day with unnecessary decisions like what to wear, when to eat, or other superfluous activity leads to poorer decision making later in the day. A key to success is to automate your life as much as possible, making unimportant decisions automatic and saving your willpower for more important issues. (as a side note, one way to increase cognitive function and improve decision making is to get more fat in your diet from sources like meat and coconut oil)
4. Eliminate as many “kryptonite” foods as possible.
There are a number of mainstream foods today that do absolutely nothing to enhance performance and are extremely detrimental to your physical and mental health. Examples of these “kryptonite” foods would be gluten, soy, processed sugars, and msg. Eliminating as many of these as possible will increase health, performance and longevity.
5. Try bulletproof intermittent fasting.
One of the most effective ways to shred fat and build lean muscle is intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting is the principle of having a 6-8 hour feeding window followed by a 16-18 hour period of fasting. Do this in conjunction with bulletproof coffee to eliminate crankiness and food cravings and you’ll be burning off those last 15 lbs. in no time.
6. Focus on making your body do what you want it to do, not what it was designed to do.
With all the modern chemicals and toxins that infect our food and water sources there is large focus put on staying “natural.” However this approach is often unbeneficial as it leads to us forgoing supplements and activities that can enhance performance, prevent aging, and optimize our natural functions. When deciding whether or not to utilize a certain supplement, nootropic etx. focus on how it effects your body and not whether it is “natural”
A key stone habit of hundreds of successful people throughout history, mediation allows you to get in touch with and gain greater control over both your mind and body. Implementing this habit for as little as 5-10 minutes a day can bring exponential returns in the long run.
Jake Ducey is a motivational speaker, author and youth role model. At 19 Jake dropped out of college and traveled the world writing the book “Into the Wind” shortly thereafter. Jake is the youngest published personal development author with Penguin Random House.
“Most of us are gambling on the biggest risk of all and that is to bet that one day we will be able to buy the freedom to do what we want later in life.” – Jake Ducey
“Write it down, make it happen”- Jack Canfield
1. It’s All Within Yourself
Jake traveled the world for six months, experiencing life in third world countries and during his travels he saw people who had absolutely nothing, yet they woke up every day with a smile on their face. It was through this experience that Jake came to the realization that everything you need is within yourself, you are enough.
You don’t need the house, the car, or the girl to make you complete as a man. Everything you need to live a full life is within you.
2. There is a difference between learning it and living it
We all know what we need to do to have success. To be financially independent, we need to save more than we spend. To be healthy, we need to eat clean and exercise more. And to have success in our dating and relationships, we need to be confident in ourselves and listen more.
Most every key to success is simple. So why are so many people broke, fat, and lonely? Because we aren’t living it! You must be willing to live out the lessons you have learned not merely read about others doing them. If you truly wish to be a success, what you need is not more information and more plans.
What you need is to start living out what you believe and become a man of action.
3. Most of our fears and anxieties aren’t real
As a society, we suffer from high rates of chronic anxiety and depression, allowing the mundane worries of our day to day grind to dictate how we live. However, the majority of our fears don’t even exist.
Our anxiety is simply a projection of what may happen at some unspecific time in the future if we fail at x, y, or z. In other words, most of our worries are bullcrap.
Even the worst thing that can happen to us is likely not half as life altering and world shattering as we may imagine. As soon as we embrace this mentality, we can begin to feel the fear and do it anyways. And that is when we begin to truly grow into the man we were meant to be.
4. The Point of a goal is who you become in the process
The purpose of any goal, be it physical, experiential, or financial is not the achievement of the goal itself, its about the man you become in the process.
When you set out to transform your body, bank account or social life, you will find that the real reward you gain is the character and integrity from doing the difficult things.
You will find that the grit and tenacity that you have developed from challenging yourself is better than any car, house, or number in a bank account. And you will find that being a man of integrity, a man who says he will achieve something and damn well does it, is the greatest reward of all.
Bo Eason is a former safety of the Houston Oilers, now, a playwright, actor, and personal development coach. In 2009 Bo produced a daily talk show called the Bo Eason Show and his stage production “Runt of the Litter” is currently being played on several stages across the nation. Bo also runs a personal development company focused on teaching individuals and companies to share their stories in a more compelling way.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt
1. Talent is a myth
In the modern age, we rarely get a glimpse into the trials and obstacles that many of the “overnight successes” face. We are lead to assume that they achieved success purely from talent. We are not shown the years of hard work and effort poured into their so called “instant success.” Talent is a myth, the only way to achieve greatly is to dare greatly and work harder than every single one of your competitors.
2. Mastery is a learned skill
The very act of learning is an aquirable skill. At an early age, Bo decided that he wanted to become the best safety in pro football. Despite several obstacles, he achieved his goal and was able to apply what he learned while mastering football to his new career as an actor and playwright. Mastery is a learned skill , if you can master one thing, you can master all things, and if you can master all things then the world is yours for the taking.
3. Obstacles are inevitable if you want success
When Bo decided to become a pro football player. Every odd was against him. He was shorter and slower than the typical safety, and did not get picked for the college he hoped to play at. However, despite being a walk on at a small university, he was still drafted into the NFL, going on to become one of the best in the league.
4. Learn to love obstacles
If obstacles are inevitable to success, then we must learn to love them. Accept challenges for what they are and take pride and pleasure in the process of becoming better. Don’t see obstacles as a negative but rather view them as a way for you to sharpen yourself as a performer in whatever field you choose.
5. To gain follows you must learn to tell a good story
Bo now runs seminars and key notes teaching people how to tell a convey their story in a memorable way. He has learned that all great leaders throughout history achieved their success because they were able to tell a story, they were able to cast a vision and create a reality for people to follow. If you wish to be successful in any endeavor you must learn how to tell your story.
6. Be a warrior and not a critic
This world doesn’t need another damn critic. This world needs warriors. This world needs people who are willing to face challenges, who are willing to do the impossible, who are willing to be uncomfortable and rejected to achieve great things. You must become a warrior. Become the kind of person who laughs at adversity, who welcomes obstacles and who makes the world in your own image. Be a warrior.
Phillip and Ishmael are the duo behind the band “William Pilgrim and the all Grows up.” They are social activists focused on bringing about societal change by spreading their message through music.. Phillip and Ish are also heavily involved in programs to help at risk teens by teaching them to express their struggles through music.
“Don’t give up before the miracle happens”
“If I stay ready I won’t have to get ready”
For several years, Ish was living on the streets, spending time with druggies and headed no where fast. After hearing “Not Afraid” on the radio Ish realized that he needed to get his life together and put an ad on Craig’s List for a day singing in the studio. Phillip responded to the ad and ”William Pilgrim and the All Grows Up” was born.
1. “Don’t quit ten feet from gold” – Napoleon Hill
Life will always throw challenges and adversity our way right before we accomplish our goals. Things often look worst right before a breakthrough, and the temptation to quit will become almost unbearable. The key is to persevere and not give up when the struggle gets hard but to face the trials until you succeed.
2. Approach all of your goals with intensity and determination.
If you want to have high levels of success in your life, you must be willing to put forth the same effort and resolve that our forbears did during movements like the American Revolution and Civil Rights Movement. Nothing worth having ever came easy, and the only way to ensure success is to pursue your goals with a fiery drive.
3. Accept the uncertainty of life and adapt to meet it.
Fate doesn’t care about plans. Life will always present unexpected circumstances and trials and the only way we can succeed in a world of constant uncertainty is to learn how to accept whatever happens and adapt your tactics.
A mentor and advocate to business leaders and entrepreneurs, Brian Smith shows how you can find your passion and follow it to a rewarding, happy, fulfilling life. Brian Smith’s amazing story proves that you can stick to your guns, authenticity, and spiritually and still grow a wildly successful career and company.
He is a passionate innovator and entrepreneur, Brian is one of the most sought after business leaders in the country today. As a media guest and inspiring speaker, he is committed to teaching his breakthrough business strategies to entrepreneurs and translating personal vision and spirituality into the company culture.
“You can’t give birth to adults.” – Brian Smith
1. You Need a Team of Believers
If you want to create a truly successful business, then you must build a team of people who believe in you and your product.
You cannot win the game of business if you have a team of skeptics and naysayers.
And this principle is axiomatic across all areas of life.
There is no way that you will achieve any great amount of success unless you are surrounding yourself with people who believe in you, people who support you, and people who encourage you.
So take stock of your current social circle.
Are they believers?
Do they encourage your dreams and aspirations and push you to achieve more?
Or are they disbelievers?
If they fall into the latter category, then it is crucial to your success that you immediately begin pruning your circle until only the very best are left.
It is not a pleasant task, but it is necessary to achieve your goals.
2. Just Get Out there and Get Started
No matter what goal you have, what business you want to start, or what dream you want to pursue, you need to just get out there and get started.
Just take the leap, plug your nose, and land in the cold water.
Success comes to those who hustle.
Not to those who wait.
So get off your butt, and get into the game.
Stop waiting, and start doing.
3. Do Your Research Before You Start
While this might sound almost contradictory to the last point, you need to understand the importance of a plan.
Yes, you need to start and get yourself out there.
But you also need to have some idea of what you are getting yourself into.
Understand the market, pervasive trends, and common mishaps before you start and you will save yourself a world of trouble.
You don’t need to have everything figured out, but at least having a basic business plan mapped out is a critical first step.
4. Stick Through It
Success is simple.
Find an idea that you love that the market needs and don’t quit.
If you don’t have the “Sticktoitness” that is required to achieve real results, then you will constantly be moving from one venture to another, getting discouraged and giving up before you have truly started.
You need to realize that success only comes to those who are willing to hustle and push themselves through the hard times.
Stick to it and make it through it.
The rewards on the other side will be worth it.
5. Your Biggest Disappointments Often Become Your Greatest Blessings
One of life’s greatest ironies is that, looking back, our biggest failures and disappointments are often our greatest blessings.
You never know when the breakup, bankrupcy, lay off, or divorce will be the catalyst that you needed to achieve your goals.
You never know when that bad thing that happened to you will give you the time, perspective, and energy to go from good to great.
You never know what doors will be opened by tragedy and loss.
Learn to accept disappointment with a smile.
It often precedes your greatest victories.
New Zealand born author, personal trainer, and life coach Mike Campbell is the author of Unleash Your Alpha: Eat like a man, Train like a Beast, Operate like a Gentleman and Become a Legend. Mike is currently living in Australia where he works coaching men on how to become the best men they can be, a real alpha. Which is, as Mike puts it, a man with equal parts heart and backbone.
“I build the road and the road builds me” – African Proverb
1. Public accountability is key to success.
Mike realized early on in his writing journey that he couldn’t do it all alone. He used accountability relationships (posting about his book on Facebook, having writing challenges with friends etc) to ensure that he made progress during trying times.
2. You need to delve into your core values to find who you are.
Most men don’t know who the hell they are. They walk around like sheep, simply following whatever is trending and fashionable. A real man, an alpha man, knows who he is and what he stands for. He does this by analyzing his values and determining what is important to him and then reverse engineering everything is his life to meet those standrards.
3. You must set behavioral goals over outcome goals.
To achieve anything of real significance in your life, you must have goals, more importantly you must have the right kind of goals. Setting behavioral goals instead of outcome goals allows you to focus on the daily journey and doing the necessary tasks moment to moment to achieve your dreams.
4. Being an alpha is about becoming the best man you can be .
Being an alpha is NOT about being the biggest, baddest, most macho guy in the room. Being alpha is about mastering your own life, it’s about competing with yourself and growing every day and it’s about doing your best to make the most of the short time you have on this planet.
Israeli born journalist, author and designer, Eran Dror has worked at various startups in NYC for nearly 10 years. Eran is the author of “The Book of Hard Truths” a book that brings into the light several hard, uncomfortable and unavoidable facts about life that we must all learn to accept.
Eran has recently taken an interest in Buddhist psychology and the ways we can apply it to our own lives to live with more presence.
“To create anything great you have to fail early, fail fast and fail often”. – Unknown
In 2011, Eran found himself single, working for a company headed towards bankruptcy and facing eviction from the US. These challenges caused Eran to develop severe stress and anxiety over his future.
While living over seas, facing uncertainty about his financial future, Eran came to the realization that all of his suffering had never really existed. He had food, shelter, and friends and no matter what, he would be ok. It was through this hardship that he learned that life is full of uncertainty and unavoidable obstacles, but by accepting these challenges and understanding that we cannot escape them, we can free ourselves from the majority of the worry and fear we face in our lives
1. Memento Mori (Latin phrase meaning remember your mortality) As much as we may try and escape it, the one in changeable fact of life is that death will come for us all. However, by accepting this we are able to take full control of our lives and live our lives fully, accepting that one- day we will die.
2. “This too shall pass” ~Acredited to Abraham Lincoln. Everything in our lives will end, the good along with the bad. Nothing we face, no struggle, no challenge, no adversity, will last forever. Accepting this allows us to embrace the suck and face difficulty with courage knowing that it will eventually end.
3. All we have is now. The past no longer exists, the future is uncertain; all we have is the present. We must learn to live in the moment because right now is all that we have, if we dwell too deeply in the past or ruminate too long over the future we will miss the beauty of our lives that is the present.
Joey Klein teaches people to consciously transform their lives using the practices he developed and has used during years of study with gifted teachers from around the world. His practical approach marries the wisdom traditions of East and West with the latest scientific studies in genetics and psychology, grounding them for the modern world.
“I am the center of my world.” – David Rudden
1. If You Do What Others Do You Will Get What They Have Got
If you are living like everyone else, you are going to get the same results as everyone else.
You cannot live the 95% and expect to get results like the top 5%.
If you are serious about changing your life, then you must commit to taking radically different action from everyone else.
Don’t do what they do.
Don’t use their vocabulary.
Don’t think how they think.
Commit yourself to playing the game at a higher level and embracing the habits, mindsets, and attitudes of the best.
This is the only path to greatness in any area of your life.
2. The First Step to Success is Awareness
The first step to becoming successful in any endeavor is becoming aware of the habits, routines, and mindsets you have that are not serving you.
Once you have awareness of where you are, where you want to be, and what it will take to get there, then and only then do you have the power to make a shift happen.
If you are serious about success, then you need to take a step back.
Figure out where you are right now.
Figure out where you want to go and what you are willing to sacrifice in order to get there.
3. Shift Out of Fear-Based States
Your state determines your reality.
If you are living in a fear based state you will never be able to enjoy life and achieve success.
Anytime you catch yourself falling into a state of doubt, fear, discomfort, or frustration, pause.
Become aware that you are in this state, take a deep breath, relax your muscles, and let it go.
Find 5 things around you that you are grateful for.
Anything that you are grateful for, whether it is your partner, your children, or just the chair that you are sitting on.
Fear cannot exist when gratitude is present.
They are the antitheses of each other.
If you want to escape your fear based states, then get present and get grateful.
4. What Vision do You Want to Fulfill?
Whether you are religious or not, all of you should be able to appreciate wisdom, wherever it is found.
And one passage in the Bible from the book of Proverbs stands out.
“Where there is no vision, the people perish”.
Not “Where there is no vision, people don’t do great things”
No, the people perish when there is no vision.
If you want to live a life of success, happiness, and fulfillment, then you must develop a more compelling vision for yourself and your life.
What are you working towards? What is it that you want to achieve? Who do you want to become? What legacy do you want to leave?
If you don’t have a massively compelling vision driving you forward, then you will wither away and die.
You will slowly decay as you relegate all of your dreams and ambitions to the realm of “Should have” instead of living with purpose and bringing your dreams and ambitions to life.
If you don’t have a vision, you are dying.
So stop waiting for permission to create a better life for yourself and decide right now what you want.
5. You Are Where You are Supposed to Be
In this very moment, you are where you are supposed to be.
Every action, every misstep and every mistake that you have made up until this point has brought you to this moment and you are exactly where you need to be.
Don’t wish that things were different.
Don’t wish that you could change the past.
Everything that has happened to you has also happened for you and you must realize that everything in your life, whether positive or negative, has a purpose.
R. Scott Gornto, MDIV, LMFT, CST is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist and expert on relationships and personal development. Scott works with individuals, couples, families, groups and businesses. He wrote the book “The Stories We Tell Ourselves” which deals with the debilitating effects of anxiety and the best ways to prevent it.
“A belief is an opinion we develop loyalty to over time” – Rick Carson
1. Never Assume the Worst
Mark Twain once said, “I have lived through many terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
And most of us live our lives the same way.
We worry, stress, and freak out about things that are only assumptions not actually a reality for us.
We immediately assume that the cryptic text from our boss or lover means that the world is ending.
We immediately assume that the little ache or pain we are experiencing is a severe disease.
We immediately assume that if our kids don’t call us at 5:30 on the dot that something terrible has happened.
And sometimes, we are right.
But 99% of the time, these assumptions only damage our emotional states and cause us unnecessary worry and stress.
Learn to curb your assumption habit.
Do not try and predict the future.
Wait until you have all of the facts and evidence, and then make your decision.
2. Get Present in Your Relationships
If you want to experience an immediate acceleration within your romantic relationships (or any relationship for that matter) then you must learn to practice the art of presence.
Turn off the TV, silence your phone, quit thinking about work and get present with your partner.
What are they feeling? What are they really saying? Take time to notice them, to appreciate them, and to experience them in the moment.
When you make this a regular practice you will find that the quality of your interactions with your significant other will skyrocket and you will achieve levels of intimacy that you never thought were possible.
3. Relationships are the Great Accelerator of Experience
As men, we sometimes forget that relationships are what life is all about.
What is the point in having money, being successful, and building a great lifestyle if you have no one to share it with?
Refocus and recalibrate your life to focus on relationships.
When your relationships flourish, every area of your life will be accelerated.
Your work will flow smoother, you will be more motivated to take care of your body, and your sense of connection and purpose will rise.
4. The First Step is Always a conversation
If you have broken your assumption habit and genuinely have reason to believe that someone in your life is in the wrong.
If you have real evidence that backs up your belief that your wife is cheating on you, that your business partner is stealing money, or that your child is heavily involved with drugs, start the interaction with a conversation.
Do not come out of the gates guns ‘a blazing.
Instead, sit down with the party in question, tell them what you have found, what you are worried about, and most of all express your love for them and tell them that you are not trying to make them the bad guy.
Ask them to explain what you have found.
If their explanation is found wanting, then you can move on to taking the appropriate next steps.
But a simple conversation is often all that you need to avert a disaster.
5. Your Narrative Determines Your Reality
The lens through which you view the world will determine the world you see.
If you believe that everyone is out to get you, that the world is trying to screw you over, then even the most benign circumstances can seem like a catastrophe.
Conversely, if you believe that life is happening for you not too you and that every misstep and failure is simply another brick being laid down on your road to success, then even the worst circumstances have a silver lining.
If you really want to elevate your life, then you need to take a moment and really analyze the way that you are viewing the world.
What beliefs do you have? What operating system is your life running on?
As soon as you determine how you view the world, you can find the fallacies and negative assumptions that are not serving you and eradicate them.
This powerful step will change your life forever.
Because as soon as you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Tim Larkin is the founder of Target Focus Training and author of the book How to Survive the Most Critical 5 Seconds of Your Life. Tim was a Naval Intelligence officer who spent over a decade training the Special Forces in hand to hand combat methods for high intensity “kill or be killed” situations.
He has spent the past 20 years developing a unique self-defense system, which focuses on using the human bodies most vulnerable points to ensure results regardless of the size or strength of the attacker. Tim has trained over 10,000 clients in over 52 countries.
“Violence is rarely the answer, but when it is, it is the only answer” – Tim Larkin
1. Always Go the Extra Mile
If you really want to succeed, then you must always go above and beyond what is expected of you.
There are literally thousands of other people who want the exact same thing as you, and if you want to be the one who gets it, you have to go the extra mile.
While competing with 275 other candidates for one of the two slots as an officer at BUD/s, Tim literally camped out in front of the Captain’s office for 3 days to get a chance to talk to speak with him face to face and request a shot at the training.
Tim was awarded a slot and learned then and there that if you want something, you better be damn ready to work hard for it.
2. There is Always a Vulnerability
While Tim’s focus is on the weakness of the human body and how you can exploit your attacker’s vulnerabilities during a life or death scenario, his belief that “There is always a weak spot” is applicable to every area of life.
Whether you are competing for a business client, facing a challenge in your health or love life, there is always a solution.
There is always a vulnerability that you can exploit or a “weakness” in the situation’s armor that you can break through to achieve your goals.
You just have to be willing to think outside of the box.
3. Behind Every Disaster there is Opportunity
No matter how terrible something might seem.
No matter how life changing it might appear.
Behind every disaster is an opportunity.
Tim perforated his ear drum while in BUD/s (Basic Underwater Demolition, Seal Training) and was medically dropped from the program a mere three weeks from graduation.
At the time it seemed like his life had ended.
All of the time and effort that he had devoted to his dream of being a Navy SEAL was wasted.
Or so he thought.
In the coming years, Tim used the training and discipline he developed during training to create a series of incredibly lucrative and successful businesses helping people learn how to defend themselves from assailants.
Now, years later, he admits that getting dropped was one of the best things that could have happened to him.
Always look for the silver lining in dark times, I promise it’s there.
4. Hit Fast and Hit Hard
Once again, Tim’s self-defense principle of “Hit fast and hit hard” applies across the board in all areas of life.
If you want to succeed in business, then quit pussy footing around.
Hit fast and hit hard.
Hit the ground running, knock on doors, slam the phones, and send out emails until you have the client base that you need to succeed.
In your health, hit fast and hit hard.
Just get up and go.
Don’t spend too much time thinking about what workout you should do or what diet you should follow.
Just pick one and adjust along the way.
Life happens for those who are willing to strike first and strike with all of the strength and power that they can muster.
So get up and get after it.
5. Cut Out the Negative Self Talk
Anytime that you are faced with a potentially life-threatening situation, you must maintain a positive frame of mind and eliminate negative self-talk.
If you get into a fight with an attacker, you cannot sit there telling yourself that you are screwed.
You have to keep a positive frame of mind and clearly think about the situation, no matter how dark it might seem.
And this is true in any other area of life.
If you are constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough in business, health, or realtionships, your negative talk will become a self fulfilling prophecy.
You must eradicate all negative self talk and replace it with positive statements that empower you and give you the courage that you need to push forward.
Max Nachamkin is an entrepreneur, dating and life coach. He runs the dating blogs inner gladiator and maxnachamkin.com, which focus on social mastery and dating for entrepreneurs. His teachings all center around his belief that dating high quality women is one of the keys to success in both life and business.
“There are no experts, just people who have been winging it for longer than you have.” – Jeffery Platts
1. You Are Totally Worthy
In this very moment, as you are reading this page, you are completely worthy.
No amount (or lack) of money, fame, or status will change this.
You are worthy just as you are.
You have everything that you need inside of you to attract the beautiful women into your life and achieve your goals.
This isn’t to say that you will not need to make changes, alter your habits, and create new belief systems.
But you are worthy just the way you are.
So as my friend Hal Elrod says, “Love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams.”
2. Constantly Question Your Own Beliefs
We all have beliefs that are not serving us.
We all have ways of thinking that are detracting from our success and happiness.
But how many of us ever actually take the time to question those beliefs?
How many of us examine our beliefs and figure out if they are true and if they are really serving our goals and purpose?
For example, some of you believe that you just aren’t good with women.
Is this belief really valid?
Has there ever been an interaction with a woman that flowed smoothly?
Have you had any experiences in your life that would suggest your belief is inaccurate?
If so, then you must eradicate this belief and form a new one.
So “I am no good with women” turns into “I can learn to be good with women”.
This is a much more empowering way to live and go through life.
3. Ask for Help and Get Support
If you are facing any challenge in your life, then you need to ask for help and get support.
Surround yourself with men who can strengthen and support you, men who can help you to grow, and men who can hold you accountable.
Life is not a solo sport.
It is meant to be played with others.
If you want to make the most out of life, achieve your goals at a faster pace, and have more joy and freedom, then you must find someone who will hold you accountable.
Whether they are a coach, a friend, or a mentor, we all need people in our lives who call us out on our b.s. and lift us to higher levels.
4. If You Want a Great Relationship Your Values Must Match
If you want to build a thriving, lasting relationship, then your values must match.
You cannot sustain a relationship when you value entrepreneurship, personal growth, and health and your girlfriend values drinking and partying.
You must find someone whose values match your own.
This does not mean that they must share every interest and hobby that you have, but they need to match with you on the important things.
If you have strong religious beliefs, she should probably share those.
If you value hard work and ambition, then you cannot be in a relationship with a small minded and petty person.
5. Focus on Your Social Circle Not Your Game
If you really want to start meeting more women and have an abundant dating life, then you shouldn’t focus on your game, you should focus on your social circle.
Throw a dinner party with 3 friends and tell each of them to invite at least one friend and one girl friend.
Do what you need to do to host a great party and then tell everyone that you will be throwing another party next week.
Again, they have to bring at least one friend.
If you continue doing this, you will meet dozens of beautiful women, you will be the center of attention (since you hosted the party) and if you have mutual friends, odds are good that many of your values and interests will align.
If you want to rapidly grow your social circle and meet beautiful women who are aligned with you and your mission, then this is the closest thing to a “short cut” that you will find.
James Clear is an avid writer, weight lifter, world traveler and photographer who teaches people to master their lives by mastering their habits. James’ writing focuses on the science of habit transformation and the processes he has used to
make implementing new habits effortless. He currently runs a blog with over 75,000 subscribers and delivers keynote speeches around the country.
“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt
1. Consistency is the Key to Success
Amateurs do things when they feel inspired, professional maintain a consistent and sustainable schedule.
If you want to break out of the amateur life, out of mediocrity, and out of the world of average, then you must become obsessed with consistency.
Intensity is great, it has its time and its place.
But consistency is the driver behind all real achievement and greatness.
To reach great levels of success, you must start by laying one or two bricks each and every day.
It will not seem like much at the time, but over the course of the weeks, months, and years, you will slowly start to build something great, something worth remembering.
But you must be consistent.
You must show up each and every day.
Not just when you feel inspired.
2. Do Better Work
Let me ask you a question.
Today, did you put forth the best work that was possible for you?
If you are anything like me and the rest of the world, then probably not.
You see, we all have the capacity to do better work.
We all have the ability to take our projects from a 7/10 to a 10/10.
But we choose not to.
We opt for ease over excellence.
If you want to create something truly great, then you must commit here and now to only do great work.
Quit half-assing and b.s.ing.
Just do better work.
3. Move Important Tasks to the Slots Where You Have the Most Energy
If you have an important task to take care of, then why in the world would you wait until you are tired and burnt out from the rest of the day to do it?
Most people do not have a time management problem, they have an energy management problem.
They don’t realize that they should schedule tasks based on their energy levels and not the time of day.
If you are always groggy and tired in the mornings, then do not do your most important task first.
Save it for when you are inspired, energetic, and enthusiastic.
Conversely, if you do your best work in the morning, then don’t put off important tasks until the end of the day.
You will only decrease the quality of your work and burn yourself out.
Learn to manage your tasks and your energy levels and your time will take care of itself.
4. Identity Determines Your Behavior
Your identity and mindset determine almost all of your behavior.
If you identify as an entrepreneur, a hustler, and a game changer, then your actions will typically align.
Your brain will not allow you to maintain an identity that has no logical foundation.
Likewise, if you see yourself as a party animal, a ladies man, and a bad boy, then your habits will typically align.
You will likely smoke, drink, abuse drugs, and have unsafe sex.
Why? Because that is what your identity is aligned with.
Therefore, if you want to change your habits, start by changing your identity.
Figure out ways that you can transform how you view yourself and who you are.
Because only then will your habits start to fall into place.
5. Habits are a Lifestyle
Habits are a lifestyle, not an arbitrary finish line.
Let’s take the common success habit of waking up at 5 a.m.
Instead of seeing this habit as “completed” whenever you wake up at 5 o’clock 21 days in a row, consider this habit part of your lifestyle.
Meaning that at least 80% of your mornings should start before 5 a.m.
It’s a part of your lifestyle and a part of your identity, not some cute little activity you do for 21 days and then forget about.
Shawn McIntyre is the CEO and founder of Shawn McIntyre Fitness and the fitness program “The WorkOut of Your Life.” McIntyre is an international cover model, a pro fitness model and a published author. He offers online and private training and leads speaking and workshop engagements.
“Earned and not given.”
1. You Do Not Need to Prove Yourself
Quit trying to prove yourself to the world.
Quit trying to show everyone else that you are enough.
Quit feeling the need to have others validate your worthiness.
At the end of the day, the only person that you need to prove anything to is yourself.
Plain and simple.
If you are trying to prove yourself to others, your success will never be enough because there will always be someone else who is bigger, someone who is richer, someone who has a hotter girlfriend, and someone who drives a nicer car.
You will never be able to appreciate the success that you have because you will be focused on what you don’t have that other people do.
So quit comparing, quit looking for validation and accept that you are good enough just as you are.
2. Change Yourself to Change Your World
You cannot change the world if you are not willing to change yourself.
If you are allowing bad habits, negative thought patterns, and weak behaviors to dictate your life, then how the hell do you think you will be able to have a positive impact on the world?
How can you show up in your marriage, your job, or your friendships with power and authority if every action that you are taking diminishes your own sense of self-worth and confidence?
If you want to change the world, start by changing yourself.
As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
You cannot influence and inspire others until you make the change in your own life.
So get to work, starting now.
3. Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life
In your life, there is only one person who is responsible for your results, one person who is responsible for all of the good and all of the bad.
That person is you.
No one else.
Not mom, not dad, not the system, not Uncle Sam, and not your friends.
You are the only person who is responsible for your results.
And since you are responsible for everything in your life and everything not in your life, you have the power to change anything that is in your life right now.
Embracing responsibility gives you power, it gives you the ability to take control of any negative situation and make it positive.
So quit blaming others and start accepting responsibility for where you are.
4. Just Do the Work
This might sound simple, but so few people are actually willing to do it.
Just do the work.
I don’t care if you are hungry, if you are tired, if you are struggling.
Just show up and do the damn work.
Nothing good ever came to anyone who wasn’t willing to work for it.
If you want to achieve greatness without work, then good luck.
Shut up, show up, and just do the work.
5. Commit and Trust Yourself
To achieve real greatness, you must be willing to commit to one thing and trust yourself to see it through to fruition.
If you are constantly bouncing from project to project, from industry to industry, and idea to idea, you will never achieve success.
Mastery and high levels of achievment require that you commit.
Commit and don’t look back.
If you want to be great in real estate, network marketing, or social media marketing, then great.
Commit to stick with it no matter how hard it is or what struggle you have to go through.
Leo Babauta is a simplicity blogger & author. He created Zen Habits, a Top 25 blog with a million readers. He’s also a best-selling author, a husband, father of six children, and a vegan.
He started Zen Habits to chronicle and share what he’s learned while changing a number of habits, including: Quit smoking (on Nov. 18, 2005), became a runner, ran several marathons and a 50-mile ultramarathon, began waking early, became organized and productive, eliminated his debt, wrote several best-selling books and ebooks, started a successful blog on simplicity.
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“The art of life lies in constant readjustment to our surroundings.” – Kazuko Okokaura
1. Slow Down and Smile
Seriously, I want you to take a minute right now, slow down, and smile.
Life happens so darn quickly and so few of us ever take the time to slow down and appreciate it.
As the week goes by, I want you to make a conscious effort just to slow down and smile.
Enjoy the little moments, focus on people that you love, stop worrying so much, and smile more.
I promise you won’t regret it.
2. Pick One Habit and Stick to It
If you want to change your life, then just pick one habit.
Not 3, not 5, and certainly not 10.
Just pick the habit that will make the biggest difference and commit to change it starting today.
Maybe you need to stop smoking, start exercising, start drinking more water, or cut out excessive porn and masturbation.
Pick your habit and commit to a change that you can stick to.
Don’t go crazy and overwhelm yourself.
Start small and work your way up.
3. Readjust and Recalibrate as You Go
As you are taking steps to change your life and become a better man, you must occasionally take the time to readjust and recalibrate along the journey.
You might find that one habit is not as helpful as you imagined or that one change is much harder to stick to than you had hoped.
And that is ok.
Take time and reflect on what is working well and what is not and make changes accordingly.
4. Start Small, Really Small
If you want to change a habit, then start small.
Really, really small.
For example, if you want to start exercising every day, then just commit to putting on your running shoes and stepping outside.
You don’t have to commit to a 10 mile run each day.
Just decide that you will take this one small action.
It’s doable, it’s small, and it’s easy.
But what you will find is that once you step outside with your running shoes on, you will not want to go back inside and lay down.
You will want to run for at least 10 minutes.
Once you are running for 10 minutes you will want to go for 20, then 30, and eventually a whole hour.
And it all started with the simple act of putting on your shoes and walking out the front door.
5. Be Mindful of Your Urges
If you are trying to overcome an addiction or a problem, you must start by gaining awareness of your urges.
Whenever you want to go and have a cigarette, become aware of your experience.
What is driving the urge? Why do you want to satisfy your need with a smoke? What is really going on?
Once you gain awareness of your urge, you can approach it mindfully.
For example, if you are tempted to watch porn, ask yourself “Why?”
What is going on in your life that is driving you to sedate with piexalated women?
The more mindful you can be of your urges and the emotions associated with them, the more power you will have over them and the easier they will be to control.
Michaela Boehm is among the most gifted counselors and teachers to be found globally today.
Born and raised in Austria, Michaela received degrees in Psychology from the University of Vienna and received further extensive training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Hypnosis, NLP, and Yoga.
Upon moving to the United States in 1994, Michaela quickly became counselor to the stars in Hollywood, California, working with the world’s best-known celebrities, including actors, producers, writers, musicians, and international business founders.
Michaela began studying with David Deida in 1997 and in 2007 began co-teaching with him, focusing on women’s empowerment in the 21st Century.
Michaela is currently the only counselor in the world personally trained and authorized by David Deida
“Set your life on fire, seek those who fan the flames.” – Rumi
1. Quit Chasing Comfort
Comfort is the greatest killer of dreams and ambitions.
When you are constantly pursuing comfort you are not willing to take the risks and the chances that you need to achieve your goals.
You need to learn to embrace uncertainty, accept the struggle, and internalize the fact that life happens outside of your comfort zone.
The greatest experiences that you will ever have, the most awe-inspiring moments of enlightenment, and the most humbling lessons that you will learn all happen when you are uncomfortable.
So stop chasing comfort, forget about safety, and dive into life.
2. Eliminate Resistance in your Life
The more resistance that you face each and every day, the less energy you will have the and less you will be able to contribute to the world.
As such, you must master the art of eliminating resistance.
Eliminating resistance starts by automating your habits and rituals.
If you have a specific set of activities that you must complete each day, then automate the way that you do them.
Sit in the same place, have the same routine before you sit down, build rituals into your life that make productivity automatic.
Because when resistance is eliminated and productivity is automatic, success is inevitable.
3. Learn to Give Better Feedback
One of the best ways that you can immediately improve the quality of your relationships and your team’s performance is to become a master at giving feedback.
Learn to take time to figure out what the problem really is, come up with several solutions, and tell them precisely what is going on and how they can improve.
When you are giving feedback in your romantic relationships, how you give feedback is just as important as what feedback you are giving.
Reassure your partner of your love and commitment to them and make it clear that the feedback you are offering is not being given to change them, but to accelerate and elevate your relationship.
If you can master this one simple skill, your entire world will shift and you will unlock unprecedented power with your team, your friends, and your lover.
4. Offer What You Can While You Can
Life is short.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
And as such, we must learn to offer what we can while we can.
There are no promises beyond the present moment, yet we waste so much of our time, depriving the world of our gifts, talents, and abilities because we are scared.
Scared of the future, scared of failure, scared of what other people will think.
To be blunt… who cares?
Who cares if you fail? Who cares what other people think? Who cares if things don’t go your way?
We are all going to die anyways, so we might as well die giving our all and living life fully.
5. If You Want to Be Trusted then Don’t Compromise
If you want to be a trustworthy man, a man who women can feel safe with and other men can rely on, then you must know who you are, know what you want, and be unwilling to compromise.
The second that you compromise your vision and your character for the approval of anyone else is the second that you lose all trustworthiness in your woman’s eyes, your friend’s eyes, and the world’s eyes.
If you cannot stand strong and hold to your own self-proclaimed values, then how in the world can other people rely on you to help and serve them and their values?
Understand the power of integrity and never compromise your values and beliefs, no matter what the potential reward or what the cost.
Elliot Katz is the author of 7 nonfiction books including Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man. Seeking to understand the challenges he faced, Elliott Katz explored the wisdom of the ages. He discovered powerful, often-forgotten insights that gave him the answers he needed to change. He also discovered that many people face similar challenges. People started seeking his advice and he was repeatedly told, “Why didn’t someone tell me this before?”
“If a man is worthy, the woman will be his partner, if he is not then she will be against him.” – Elliot Katz
1. Manliness Requires Leadership
To be a “manly” masculine man means, first and foremost, that you are a man with a plan.
You are a leader.
If you want to be the strong man that a woman truly wants, then the first step is to start leading the women in your life.
Don’t shirk all decision making and responsibility onto your woman with the mistaken belief that you are “empowering” them.
Women don’t want that responsibility.
They want a man who can take charge, step up, and lead them to a better life.
And it starts with the simple decisions each and every day.
If you ask a woman out on a date, then show up with a plan.
If you decide to take your wife or girlfriend out, do so with a plan of action.
Just step up and take charge of the relationship.
Women can only fell truly feminine, safe, and secure when they are with a man who is willing to take charge and lead them forward.
2. Women Want Men with Strength
A big mistake that many men make is to follow the false belief that women want men who are “nice” and tender.
Sure, women want a man who can be soft and loving.
But more than these feminine qualities, they want a man who is strong.
Strong in his morals, strong in his convictions, and strong in his character.
How can a woman feel safe with you if you are not willing to stand up for what you believe in?
If you allow women to step on your values and your beliefs because you don’t want to be overbearing, you are slowly and quietly undermining your strength and eroding your woman’s ability to trust you .
You must eradicate this nice guy behavior from your life.
Stand up and be strong.
Speak your mind and don’t hold back.
3. Find Successful Men and Emulate what they Do
If you want to be a better man, then surround yourself with men who are better than you.
It’s that simple.
If you want to figure out how to be the “manly” man who is respected by his peers, society, and his wife, then find men who possess those qualities and emulate them.
Join a men’s group, find a sport’s team, join a local mastermind.
Find places where strong men congregate and then show up humble and eager to learn.
The more you can surround yourself with strong manly men, the stronger you will become.
4. You Must be More than a Provider
As a man, your primary role is that of the provider.
Your job is to protect and provide for those that you love and to make sure that they are taken care of.
However, your job goes much deeper than that.
If you are just providing your wife and children with financial wealth and stability, you are not doing your job as a man.
Your family needs more from you.
They need you to be present.
They need you to be available to help them through their struggles, support them through their hard times, and love them unconditionally.
Yes, you need to provide for the people in your life.
But you also need to realize that provision is not your sole job as a man.
5. Take Ownership of Your Problems
If you are facing problems in your personal, professional, or romantic life, then you need to take responsibility and own the problem.
Stop blaming your wife, your boss, or your peers.
If you have a problem, it is your fault and no one else’s.
You are the one who decided to get into the relationship, to take the job, or to get involved with that group.
You hold ultimate responsbiilty for every situation in your life, and as such, you also hold every solution to solve the problems that you are facing.
So take extreme ownership for your life, cut the excuses, and achieve greatness.
Chris Hogan stirs audiences to action wherever he speaks. Whether delivering a keynote on personal money management, teaching an all-day leadership training for business owners and professionals, or hosting the EntreLeadership Podcast, iTunes’ number-one podcast on leadership, Chris keeps his audience entertained and challenged.
Chris Hogan is a sought-after, diverse speaker who loves to challenge, motivate and encourage business leaders, real estate professionals, military personnel and students to be their very best—no matter what!
“If it is to be, it’s up to me.” – Chris Hogan’s mother
1. If Results Are Something You Desire Then Effort is Something You Must Put Forth
Plain and simple, if you want the results, then you have got to put in the effort.
There is no way around it.
You cannot hack your way to massive achievment.
You cannot become great on a “4 Hour work week.”
The only way to achieve real and lasting success is to put forth the effort, fail, learn, and keep pushing through.
2. You Must Follow Before You Can Lead
The first step to becoming a great leader is to become a great follower.
Until you understand what it is to follow, what it feels like to be under the command of someone else, you cannot properly exercise command yourself.
So if you want to become a great leader, then learn to follow.
Become an excellent servant to other people.
Be humble and willing to learn.
Analyze the people who are leading you and figure out what it is that makes them great or terrible.
Emulate their good qualities and eliminate the bad.
Once you know what it is to follow, then you are ready to lead.
3. Business is a Team Sport
There are a lot of people in the modern business world who believe that business is an individual sport.
They think that they can make it as a “solopreneur”.
And if your only goal is to make a few thousand dollars a month, then yes, you can operate this way.
However, if you want to be great, if you want to build a business that will have a lasting impact, and if you want to create a legacy that will be remembered for generations, then you must build and train a highly skilled team.
You cannot do it by yourself.
If you really want to succeed in the game of business, then you need to find players for your team who are strong where you are weak.
Find players who can see your blind spots and cover your back.
The only way to experience high levels of success in business is to surround yourself with a great team.
4. Don’t Try and Please Everyone
You cannot please everyone.
You just can’t do it.
And if you try, you will be burnt out, angry, and miserable.
And here’s the thing.
Some people aren’t worth pleasing!
So quit trying to make everyone else happy and focus on making yourself and the people who are important to you happy.
Who cares what the haters think? What the competition thinks? What your college buddies think?
Build a life and a business that you can be proud of and that you want to share with the most important people in your life.
Forget everyone else.
5. Enjoy Where You Are
It never gets easier, the challenges only get bigger.
This is one of the hard truths about life.
You are never going to arrive, you are never going to reach “success”, you are never going to be finished until you die.
So you might as well enjoy where you are right now.
Enjoy the journey.
Enjoy the pain, the struggle, the hardships, and the lessons.
Because where you are right now is all that you have.
Yesterday no longer exists and tomorrow is not guaranteed.
So enjoy the moment and keep on hustling.
R. Michael Anderson, M.B.A., M.A., is an international speaker, radio show host, and author who specializes in leading competitive, driven people through the same transformation that he’s been through to bring joy and happiness into their lives.
“Nothing great is ever created when we’re in our comfort zone.” – Michael Anderson
1. You Are Totally Worthy As You Are
No matter where you are in life, no matter how far you might be from your goals, you are totally worthy just as you are.
You are not worth any less because you don’t have the 7-figure job, the big house, or the beautiful wife.
You are totally worthy just as you are.
You are enough.
You have everything that you need inside of you right now in this very moment.
So embrace this fact.
Embrace that you are enough and stop acting like you have to prove yourself to feel worthy.
2. Internal Peace Brings About Success
One of the great ironies of life and business is that people tend to focus on drive, hustle, and grinding it out in order to achieve success.
But success almost always comes from a place of internal peace and alignment.
Success comes whenever you are on your path and purpose, when you eliminate fear and anxiety, and whenever you have the peace and harmony inside of yourself knowing that you are enough whether you “succeed” or not.
So before you focus on earning money, building a business, or achieving greatness, focus on becoming at peace with yourself and the world.
Take up a practice of meditation, learn to be grateful for the smallest things in life, figure out what you love and find ways that you can pursue it.
When you have the internal peace and confidence, the external accolades and achievements will come naturally.
3. Compete to Elevate
Life is competition.
And while you cannot change the inevitability of competition, you can change the reason that you compete.
Some people compete to crush their opponents, to be the best, or to feel like they are worthy.
Other people compete so that they can have the resources and credibility to bring joy and life to others.
If you want to live a life of real success and fulfillment, compete to elevate others, not yourself.
When you are competing so that you can bring others up, so that you can provide a better life for the people that you love, and make a difference in the world, you will have more drive and willpower than all of the other self-centered competitors combined!
By seeking to elevate others, you are competing for something bigger than yourself and will have the internal fortitude and drive to overcome any obstacle.
4. Own the Emotions You Are Experiencing
We all experience a vast array of emotions in any given day.
But most of us do not own these emotions and take control of our state.
Whenever you feel an emotion like fear, anger, frustration or anxiety arising, ask yourself one simple question…
Is this serving me?
If the answer is no, then figure out how you can show up differently and live in a more empowered state.
If you are angry with your spouse, how can you curb your anger and show up differently?
If you are frustrated at work, how can you calm yourself and show up in a more empowered state?
The more you learn to own and control your emotions, the more empowering life you will be able to live.
5. Block the Things that Steal Your Time
Succeeding at a high level will require you to become an absolute scrooge with your time and energy.
You can no longer permit activities and habits into your life that steal your time and drain your energy.
Whether it’s social media, TV, video games, porn, or even self-development without action.
Find your time vampires and drive a stake through their heart.
There is no other way to succeed.
Russ Whitney overcame a difficult childhood and went on to build a solid, successful life as a family man, civic leader, self-made millionaire, philanthropist, best-selling author, mentor and businessperson.
An entertaining and inspirational speaker, Russ Whitney has shared the stage with some of the world’s most respected motivational and entrepreneurial thought leaders, including the late Lady Margaret Thatcher, Britain’s first female prime minister; former U.S. Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton; as well as well-known figures such as the late Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins and others. The message Whitney now shares goes beyond motivation – he delivers a life-changing action plan that has positively impacted millions of people.
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he”- Proverbs 23 7
1. It’s About Impact. Not Income
Most of us get into our chosen fields and professions for the money.
Sure, there are some of you reading this who are exceptions, who genuinely want to serve.
But most of us? We are, first and foremost, focused on the money.
However, as you continue through life you will realize that making an impact always trumps the income.
If you can change someone’s life, if you can transform someone’s reality, if you can make a dent in their universe, then the money becomes secondary.
Don’t get me wrong.
Money is great, and the more of it that we have, the more we can use it to serve others.
But as you look to expand yourself and your business, pause and realize that true wealth comes from the impact that we have on others, not the income that we create for ourselves.
2. You Cannot Run on Self Will Alone
Our willpower is finite.
If you have big, audacious goals and you are trying to achieve them based entirely on your willpower alone, you are going to fail.
Because you do not have a big enough “why.”
You don’t have something bigger than yourself that is driving you.
Success at the highest level requires a commitment to something greater than just your own desires and selfless wants.
Success at the highest levels requires a deep source of motivation that goes beyond the finite reserve of willpower that each of us possess.
If fast cars, big houses, and hot models are your only motivators, you will eventually burn out and fail.
Because quite simply, those things are not worth the effort that you will be required to put forth.
But if your motivation is deeper, if your “why” is derived from a desire to serve, a desire to make an impact, and a desire to leave a legacy, you will be able to push through the tiring times, the rejections, and the pain.
So go deeper and find what really motivates you to get to the next level.
3. Understand the Power or Humility
Humility is at the root of all greatness.
Yes, you need to have borderline insane levels of self-confidence.
Yes, you must love yourself at a level 10.
Yes, you must have a delusional level of self-belief to achieve your goals.
You must also be humble.
You must be willing to learn, grow, and take advice.
Because the simple truth of the matter is this, you don’t know everything.
You need other people who can help you succeed on your journey.
You need to be willing to put your own ego aside and serve others first.
You need to be willing to occasionally shut up, quit talking, and just listen.
And always remember, no matter how successful you are, there is always another level.
Stay humble, stay foolish ~Steve Jobs
4. If You Don’t Control Your Emotions You Will Fail
One of the biggest keys to success is the optimization and mastery of your emotional control.
You must be able to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions regardless of the circumstance if you want to succeed at any high levels.
When you lose your temper, lash out in anger, take action without contemplation, or start to envy the possessions and success of others, you lose your power.
If you cannot control your emotions, you cannot control anything.
The only thing over which we have absolute power is our mind.
And the second that you forfeit that power and allow external circumstances and other people to take control, your life will nose dive into a downward spiral until you crash and burn.
5. Struggles Are a Gift in Disguise
Every struggle, every bad circumstance, and every challenge is a gift in disguise.
Life is a constant struggle.
That’s just the way that it is.
You must understand that these struggles are always meant to teach us something.
They are meant to help us grow, to help us break through, and to elevate our lives to new heights.
Joy and passion come from overcoming and breaking through obstacles that you once thought impassable.
So stop fretting about struggles and challenges in your life and start getting excited.
The more struggles you face, the more opportunities you will have to truly prove what you are made of and take your life to a whole new level.
Jim White PhD is Founder & President of JL White International, Inc., the best selling author of What’s My Purpose?, A Journey of Personal and Professional Growth, and the creator of the What’s My Purpose Life Mastery Course. He is also the creator of The Circle of Success®, a customized, yearlong, leadership and management transformation process, Jim White’s Classic Movie Series®, and The “Red Carpet” Tour™. These innovative events have attracted more than 100,000 participants worldwide, including Fortune 500 CEOs, management teams, entrepreneurs, governments, and trade associations.
Whether working with multi-billion dollar corporations or the individual, Jim’s approach is the same: to help you clearly identify how you lead and how you live—professionally and personally—so that you can discover your life’s purpose. This is how leaders launch their real success
“Living life on purpose if it’s not then it’s not worth living.” – Jim White
1. A Life Without Purpose isn’t Worth Living
A life that is lived for the pleasure of others, a life that is lived without a purpose and a meaning, a life that is lived without passion and zest is not a life worth living.
So many of us today are just going through the motions.
We wake up each day, do what we’re told, and live our lives on someone else’s terms instead of our own.
Gentlemen, you only get one shot at this life.
You only have one chance to make it count.
You only have one opportunity to truly live.
So quit living for the wishes and whims of others, and live your life for a purpose that is meaningful to you.
How do you want to be remembered, what do you want to do with your life, what legacy do you want to leave?
Find the answers to these questions and then go live it.
Life is too short not to.
2. You Must be a Life Long Student
No matter how successful you become, no matter how much money you make, no matter how many lives you impact, there is always more to learn and do.
To live a life of joy and fulfillment requires that you commit yourself to lifelong education and improvement.
Until the day you die, you must commit to never stop learning, never stop being curious, never stop searching for more.
The world we live in is full of mystery and splendor.
Just as soon as you think you have it all figured out, a new layer is peeled back and you are brought to terms with how truly ignorant you are.
Learn to view this as a positive thing.
As long as you are alive, you have lessons to be learned and skills to acquire.
So never settle, never stop learning, and always be curious.
3. “Stay Fresh”
One of the biggest problems in our modern society is that once people reach a certain level of success, they stagnate.
They forget the infamous Subway slogan “Stay fresh.”
They forget that the joy and the juice of life is found by constantly learning new things and reinventing yourself.
This applies to every area of life.
If your workout program has become dull and boring, take up gymnastics and parkour to bring the life and the fun back into your daily routine.
If your relationship has stagnated, be spontaneous, surprise your partner with a trip to a new city.
If your business is stagnating, commit to innovation and figuring out the solution to a new problem within your industry.
Life is only truly lived whenever we are staying fresh and constantly pushing the envelope further and further each and every day.
So, take a bite out of the sandwich of life, follow Subway’s lead, and “Stay Fresh”.
4. Just Do the Work
At the end of the day, if you want to succeed, just do the work.
It might sound overly simplistic or massively generalized, but it’s how the world works.
If you want to succeed, then do the work.
Quit whining, quit moaning, quit being lazy.
Get off your butt and get to work.
5. Learn to Be Present
Life is lived in the moment.
It is not lived in past mistakes or future victories, it is lived right now, in this very second.
As you take a breath and read this sentence, this is life.
Learn to enjoy it.
Learn to be present.
Notice the world around you.
Be thankful for everything that has collided to bring you into this very moment.
Be grateful no matter what your current lot in life is.
Learn to enjoy this moment.
Because it’s all that we truly have.