Aaron Lamont Curry is the author of “This is Why You’re Single” a relationship and personal growth book that focuses on helping individuals to examine themselves and their beliefs about dating and relationships so that they can better understand the reasons they are struggling to find love. Aaron is currently traveling the country, speaking on relationships, and writing his next book in the “why you’re single” series.
“Don’t give your heart to anyone just to have someone.” – Anonymous
1. Don’t settle for less than you deserve
It is so easy to settle for sub par relationships (both romantic and otherwise) because you do not want to face the discomfort of loneliness. It’s easy to justify staying with someone despite low class behaviors, just because you don’t want to go through the pain of singleness.
If you want to achieve great things in your life, in your business, and in your relationships, you must realize that you cannot settle for less than you deserve. You are the average of the people with whom you associate most, and this applies doubly to romantic relationships.
If you are dating someone with no drive, ambition or common values, you are setting yourself up for failure. Make the decision to raise your standards, only allow relationships that are edifying, that add value to your life, and that move your dreams forward. .
2. The simple actions make all the difference
The majority of men today have lost the art of chivalry. Simple things that show you love and respect a woman are no longer practiced, or if they are, they are done in a manipulative way to try and achieve a desired outcome (typically sex). If you want to be a man who stands out in the crowd, do the simple actions to show women that you care.
Open doors, walk on the side closest to the street, offer her your coat if she is cold, be a gentleman. This doesn’t just apply to women you are dating either, display this type of respect and humility whether the woman is a Victoria’s Secret model or an elderly lady crossing the street. Women will notice, and you will be a better man because of it.
3. Take the appropriate steps in relationships
It is all too easy to rush a relationship just for the sake of a relationship. However, if you want lasting love, take your time. Don’t decide you want to marry the girl before you even meet her. Date for a while before you start moving things along, hold off on the sex until you decide whether this is the kind of girl that you want to be with for more than a night, take it slow.
Women will respect this, and it will save you a ton of pain and heartache in the long run.
4. Don’t get into a relationship for sex
Simple but profound, as the old saying goes, “Don’t buy a ring for what you can buy on the street.” Sex is never a good reason to date or marry someone.
5. Ask the right question to find the right answer
When we examine our lives, especially the lack of certain things in our lives, we often ask the wrong questions. We ask “why” we are single instead of asking “what” we are doing that has kept us single, we ask questions that allow us to answer with cop outs and justifications instead of getting to the root of the issue. Start improving the quality of your questions and your life will improve with them.
6. You miss 100% of the shots you do not take
Life is too damn short to always live in fear. Do not allow the fear of failure to hold you back from becoming the man you want to become, because the truth is, inaction is the greatest failure of all. You will never achieve anything if you do not first try, even if you only succeed by 1% that is still 1% more than you could have achieved without taking action. Feel the fear, and do it anyways.