This is David’s second appearance on the show, he’s back and better than before.
For those of you who are not familiar with David Wygant, he is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching and his website, his advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. His funny — yet always direct — approach to dating, sex and relationships has revolutionized how people meet and interact with the opposite sex.
Over the last thirteen years, David has become one of the most frequently-quoted dating experts in the media. He offers his advice as a lead writer for Yahoo! Personals, AskMen, Huffington Post and across television segments, newspapers and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health and E! Entertainment Television — as well as on over 2,000 radio shows.
1. Get Off Social Media and CONNECT
People have lost their ability to connect. We spend our days on social media, constantly swiping and liking our lives away while the real juice of life passes us by.
If you want to live a life that is full, full of love, passion, and joy, you have to put down the phone and learn to connect with people, get excited about who you will meet and what you will learn each day and turn your damn phone off!
No man will ever go to his grave regretting that he didn’t have enough facebook followers, but many men die void of true love and connection because they were never willing to put down their devices and connect.
2. You Are Good Enough
Society, our family, and our friends have sold us a lie that we are not good enough. We have been taught that because we are not like someone else that we are somehow inferior and less worthy of love and success than others.
This is bullshit.
You are who you are for a reason, embrace it! If you are a nerd, be a nerd, a gym rat, then be a gym rat, if you are a hopeless romantic, then fucking embrace it and be who you are!
Don’t let anyone or anything tell you that you are not good enough.
3. Give Love Freely
All that matters in life is our ability to love. If you want to be happy and fulfilled, then give love freely. Love other people, love the world you live in, love your family, your friends, and don’t expect anything in return.
As soon as you do this, the universe will open up doors and your life will be a roller coaster ride of joy, love, and connection.
4. Be Totally Present
Stop worrying about tomorrow. Quit spending your precious time focused on things that don’t matter. Unplug and learn to love, to be totally present and there with everyone you meet.
Life is too short to live in the future. Give love and presence and your life will be more joyful and amazing than you can imagine.
Craig Filek is a father, a depth coach and highly attuned facilitator bringing over 20 years of experience in transformative men’s work, shadow work and authentic relating to his unique process for radically clarifying your purpose, making a powerful contribution, and stepping into your flow
“In every adversity lies the seed in an equivalent or greater benefit”~Napoleon Hill
1. Learn to Be With Yourself
Part of becoming the man that you were born to be is to discover who you are and to learn to be ok with your shadow, unafraid and bold in accepting who you are.
To achieve this level of self knowledge and acceptance, you have to be willing to spend time in solitude truly delving into yourself and allowing yourself the space to grow.
Whether this is through meditation, time in nature or journaling doesn’t matter. What matters is that you make time for yourself to be alone with yourself and truly come to know and accept who you are.
2. You Have to Have a Rite of Passage to Become the Best Man You Can Be
To truly thrive as a man, you must, even according to your own biology, go through a rite of passage that challenges you and leaves you a better man than before.
Whether this is a retreat, solo trip around the world, starting a business, or competing in a boxing match, you need to have something that marks your transition into manhood and a new life, no matter how old or experienced you are.
3. Create a Life Map
A powerful exercise to help you unlock your potential and become the man you need to be is to create a life map. Include your overarching purpose for the next 6 years, milestones along the way to help keep you motivated and on track, a daily one thing to focus on, and a list of daily habits to help you become the man you were born to be.
No matter whether your purpose is to become the biggest name in personal growth, a pro musician, or simply to be the best damn father you can, breaking everything down in this way will help you to organize your life and goals in a simple way that you can easily follow and use to achieve your purpose.
As a professional speaker, Christine leads seminars and workshops to audiences around the country. She has spoken to over 100,000 people at colleges, personal growth events, conferences, and corporations.
Christine has appeared as an expert on The Today Show, CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, E!, Style and PBS, as well as various local television and radio shows, speaking about life issues and “Expectation Hangovers®” – a phenomenon she identified and trademarked or generational diversity. She is also a frequent contributor to The Huffington Post and Cosmo.
She is the author of many books including the Expectation Hangover
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom” ~Victor Frankl
“Don’t ask why did this happen to me, ask what am I learning” ~ Christine Hassler
1. Become an Inside Out Person
So often, we get tied up in achieving success, in getting the girl, getting the six pack, and making the million dollars, that we tie all of our value and recieve all of our validation from the outside in.
This is completely backwards. If you want to be a happy fulfilled person who lives their lives with a sense of joy and completion, you have to first become a person who works from the inside out. You work on giving yourself to the world just as you are, because you know that you have everything inside of you that you need to feel complete and be loved.
You don’t need any external validation for happiness, you simply need to be who you are, and more importantly love who you are.
2. Get Over Your Insecurities
What many people do not realize is that whenever they wait to act until they are ready because they are insecure, it’s not themselves that they are robbing, they are robbing the world of their gifts as well.
Every second that you spend wallowing in insecurity is a second that is spent selfishly depriving the world of your gifts and talents, get over yourself and get over your insecurities, and just act!
3. Another Person Can Never Be Your Purpose
As men, we often times get tied up in women who we consider to be projects. We get all of our validation from fixing and saving them without realizing that what is really happening is that their brokenness is what we are using to try and save ourselves.
A relationship should be two whole people, holding hands and looking in the same direction. Two people who love themselves and love each other who have their own individual paths and purposes which are aligned.
Never allow someone else to become your purpose, because as soon as you do, you doom the relationship to failure.
Matt Inglot is the founder of Tilted Pixel, a high level web agency specializing in web design. He is also the founder of the website and podcast Freelance Transformation, where he details how he created a 6-figure lifestyle business doing work that he loves.
“Reality is negotiable”~ Tim Ferriss
1. Live a Life True to Yourself
It’s so easy in life today to live a life that is not true to who we are. We take a job that we don’t like to impress our friends and family, we get married to someone we do not truly love because everyone else loves her, we live in a way that is incongruent with who we are because we are too afraid to take the reigns of our own lives!
If you want to live a life that is full, not just full of financial success and fun, but a life full of joy, love, and peace, it starts with being true to yourself. Because only when you are true to yourself can you truly live a life that will inspire and empower others.
2. You Have to be Willing to Make Tough Decisions
You will often be faced with difficult decisions, you will usually have two options, to take the path of least resistance, the path you have been down before that is easy and comfortable, or to take the path of growth. The path that scares you and keeps you up at night, the path that will lead to the life of your dreams…after it leads you through pain and hardship.
If you want to live a full life and a life on your terms, you have to take the road less traveled, it will make all the difference.
3. Sometimes You Just Have to Jump
Sometimes, when you are making hard decisions, you just have to jump. You have to take an action in faith, believing that it will work out without any evidence to support your belief.
You just have to jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down, once you do, you will find that all sorts of doors and opportunities open up…
But you have to take the jump first.
Phillip Adcock is a commercial psychologist and managing director of a number of human behavior analysis companies operating in 17 countries. He boasts some of the world’s largest organizations as clients, including Apple, Kraft, L’Oréal, Mars, PepsiCo, Nestlé, Tesco, and Procter & Gamble. He frequently appears on UK television. He lives in England.
“If the brain was so simple that we could understand it, we’d be so simple that we couldn’t”~ Ian Stewart
1. Your Brain is Wired to Fight, Flight, and Fu….Find a Mate
When you seek to understand your brain, you have to realize that it takes our brains nearly 30,000 years to evolve, and for the past 30,000 years of evolutionary history, our brains have been wired for three things, fighting, fleeing, and finding a mate.
Whenever you are presented with a new situation, your brain will filter it through these lenses, basically, should I fight this thing, run from it, or screw it.
Whenever you are in a new and scary business, life, or mating situation, your brain is not logical and you are working with wiring that evolved to help you survive on the plains of the Savanna, realize this and you will be able to perform at a much higher level.
2. It is Emotion That Makes Every Decision
People who think they have a real choice in making decisions, do not understand how the brain works. Your brain operates purely out of emotion, and on its simplest terms it operates to move your towards pleasure and away from pain.
If you can understand this, you can manipulate this to associate more pain and pleasure with certain things that will help you move away form what you want and towards what you do, even if it means loss of pleasure in the short term.
3. Use All of Your Senses to Get in State
If you want to get into state, simply use all of your senses.
Get in a room that inspires your sense of sight with colors that motivate you and images that fire you up, light a candle or something else that smells good and relaxes you and helps you think, stand on a certain type of floor that will help you to feel either more relaxed or more motivated, and finally put on some music that gets you into state.
4. Break the Script
If you want to break a habit, break the script. If you are a smoker, figure out when it is that you normally smoke and change something about that routine. Change the coffee that you are drinking, the way you drive to work, the gas station that you fill up at or anything else that will help you to change a routine normally associated with a habit.
5. Always be Learning
Plain and simple, if you are not learning, you are dying. You need to constantly expand your brain and expose it to new and exciting ideas to be growing into the man that you want to be.
Always be learning.
Dr. Tracy Thomas is a licensed psychologist and a certified coach who works with executives, leaders, and celebrities who helps them go from the life they are living the life that they are leading.
“It’s one thing to realize the self, but it’s something else altogether to truly embody that realization, to the extent that there is no gap between inner revelation and it’s outer expression” Adayashanti
1. Turn Your Existence into Your Career
You know the old saying that if you love what you do you will never work a day in your life?
Well imagine if the work that you did was in such alignment with who you are as a person and what you value in life that you felt that you were being paid simply to exist? That you were paid to just be you!
It is entirely possible, and more than that, entirely necessary.
Life is too damn short to live a life that is incongruent with who you are. If you are doing things that you love with people you love, you will wake up every day with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. You will have a deep sense of fulfillment and joy in each moment and will be able to show up in life more present and on purpose than you ever thought possible.
It is not an easy road, and it will require you to make changes, but it will be worth it.
2. Get out of the Negative Narratives in Your Life
It is so easy to get caught up in negative narratives in your day to day life that you may not even realize how much they are affecting you. You are in negative work environments, negative relationships, patterns of self talk, or ways of being that your health and well being is affected.
If you are able to remove the negative narratives from your life and surround yourself with positivity that is congruent with you and your mission, your life will improve, your health will improve, and your sense of peace and joy will shoot through the roof.
3. Get Real with Yourself
Success in life requires that you are honest with yourself, you cannot live a life of joy and peace if you are constantly lying to yourself.
You tell yourself that it is not that bad, that you will make a change, that things are worse for others without ever realizing that by lying to yourself you are blocking yourself from achieving the things you desire.
You have to be brutally honest with yourself and call it like it is in life before you can truly live a congruent and passionate life.
4. Take it Easy on Yourself
Especially as a man, it is easy to beat yourself up. Society puts so much pressure on you to achieve, to succeed, to figure out who the hell you are (not to mention to figure out how the hell to handle women) that it’s easy to see yourself as a failure if you are not a millionaire, casanova by age 21!
Take a deep breath and take it easy on yourself, you are doing better than you think you are. You don’t have a responsibility to conform to society’s expectations and the sooner you can realize this, the happier and more fulfilled you will be.
Steven DeSalvo’s first book ‘Relationship Dynamics’ in the EVOLVE series helps to answer the question: ‘How can we change our world and the course of human evolution with positive outcomes for this planet and all of its inhabitants? This first book in this series has helped many to change and navigate to healthier relationship dynamics.
As a certified Permaculturist, his goal is to serve others in the attaining their highest evolutionary potential through writings and personal appearances to increase awareness and personal responsibility.
He moved to northern California in 2011 where he now resides and works as an independent writer, publisher, speaker and life coach. Often called a Renaissance man, Steven DeSalvo has a diverse background of creative, artistic, business and personal interests including writing and blogging on his web site www.BecomeAnAdult.com.
“Live your true authentic self”~Steven DeSalvo
1. Introspection is the First Step to Better Relationships
You will never succeed in relationships with others until you are in a great relationship with yourself. And creating a great relationship with yourself requires that you spend time in introspection, truly learning who you are and falling deeply in love with yourself.
If you want to develop healthy relationships with others, start by spending time by yourself and investing in the man that you want to be, the rest will follow.
2. You Have to Create Systems for Conflict Resolution
In all relationships, no matter how “perfect” they may seem, you will face conflicts. It is inevitable. But what separates relationships that last from those that crash and burn is. There is such a thing as an elegant argument, but you have to be willing to let go of your need to be right.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes, truly listen to them and what they are saying, not just the words that are coming out of their mouths, but the underlying message behind everything that they say. If you do this, your relationships will be happier, you will be happier, and life will be far more fulfilling.
3. A Healthy Relationship is Two People Setting Each Other Free
A healthy relationship is two people setting each other free, it is not one person completing another person, or one individual trying to fix another individual, it is two whole individuals who both have something unique to offer each other, coming together and sharing their gifts, talents, and love with one another.
If you get into relationships looking for someone to complete you, you will always be disappointed, but if you go into relationships looking for someone who is already complete whom you can join with and create an amazing life together, you will live a life of fulfilling and happy relationship.
Dennis Meyers was a normal everyday man until he suffered from a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. After years of struggling to find joy and fulfillment in his new life, he discovered a way to make peace with his accident and has written about it in his book “You Have not a Leg to Stand On”.
“You’ve just got to go on”
1. You Have Just got to Go On
Life will knock you down, it will throw punches that put you on your knees, it will shatter you and batter you and try and keep you on the ground, but you have just got to go on.
Everyone will suffer in life, especially if you ever intend to do something great with yourself, the key is not if you suffer, but how you suffer. You must accept the hardships and move on with your life, grin and bear it, be willing to laugh in the face of pain.
There is little else that you can do, and allowing life to knock you down is a surefire recipe, not just for failure in business, but failure in life.
2. Learn to Take Life as it Is
Just as life will knock you down and you must learn to keep moving, so will life present you with situations and circumstances that aren’t ideal. While many people will moan and gripe about how unfair life is, the wiser man realizes that if there is nothing he can do to change the situation, he must simply take life as it is.
Make peace with the pain, because sometimes it’s all you can do.
3. Put Yourself Second
While life may be difficult at times, and may present massive challenges to many people, life is much more challenging if you are operating from a selfish perspective. You have to be willing to put yourself second, to live for something bigger than just you, to truly live a life of service, if you want to find peace in this life.
Serving others is the quickest way to remind yourself of all that you have to be grateful for and all the amazing blessings you have in your life.