Jeff Spadafora is the Director of Global Coaching Services and Product Development for The Halftime Institute. He spent 20 years as a leadership and executive development consultant for Fortune 1000 companies such as Ford Motor Company, Sears & Roebuck, Compuware, Domino’s Pizza, Visteon, Northern Trust Bank, Helene Curtis, and Sky Chefs.
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of your life, the full potential of your soul will never emerge.”~Henry Van Dyke
1. Success Will Not Fulfill You
In today’s materialistic and ego driven society, we are incepted from birth with the idea that buying more stuff and achieving higher status will lead to joy and fulfillment. But as anyone who has ever been to the top will tell you, this is simply not true.
While it is true that achieving goals, improving your material comfort, and reaching new heights of social prestige will increase your momentary happiness, this path does not offer any sort of contentment or joy in the long term. It results in a never ending quest to recreate the dopamine high that is released every time that you hit a new tax bracket.
2. Giving Yourself Away is the True Path to Gaining Everything
While living a life in pursuit of excess material wealth won’t lead to fulfillment, living a life in pursuit of generosity and impact, and legacy will.
If you truly wish to live a life of fulfillment and joy, not just momentary happiness and brief episodes of ecstasy, you must start by giving yourself to a cause bigger than yourself. You must find a passion and a calling that makes it difficult for you to stay in bed in the mornings because you are so excited about how you will get to change the world.
As cliche and trite as it may sound, finding a calling that is about a bigger picture than just yourself is the true path to success. Perhaps at this moment, you can’t find that calling or simply don’t know how you want to impact the world.
This is fine.
Start with simple things: Volunteer at a local habitat for humanity, give away 10-15% of your income to a cause you believe in, or even just call your grandparents from time to time. Find things to do that remind you that you are a small part of a whole, find things that let you serve and give without any expectations.
Give yourself away and you will gain everything.
3.You Need to Line Up your Core, Capacity, and Context
Similar to the four pillars, the Three C’s are the essentials of life that must be in alignment for you to be living a “10” life.
This is who you are, what your mission is, and what you stand for. To have a well defined “core” (in the sense of success and fulfillment, not your abs), you must define your virtues, your beliefs, and your character traits that will remain unwavering no matter how strenuous the external circumstances become. (also called NUTS or Non-negotiable, unalterable terms by Wayne Levine) And you must also discover and be actively pursuing what you believe to be your calling and purpose in life.
This is how you are showing up in each area of your life, it’s about maximizing your potential. Are you staying in the best shape you can physically? Are you being the best husband, father, friend, son, or brother that you can relationally? Are you connected with whatever your definition of God is? (Or if you are an atheist, have you done your research and do you have peace about the question of God?)
This is where you are working towards your calling and purpose. Do you need to move jobs, cities, or countries? Do you need to stay where you are and simply work change how you are showing up?
Only you can answer these questions, and it is imperative that you take the time to do so lest you work your whole life away on something that you realize (too late) was never in line with your calling in the first place.
4. Busyness and Comfort are Your Two Greatest Enemies
The two greatest enemies to success and fulfillment are not laziness or greed or ignorance, but busyness and comfort.
Busyness and comfort are malicious and sneak into your life slowly, without any obvious signs, but once they are in, they slowly and surely convince you that you are ok at your current level because there isn’t the pain necessary to elicit change.
When you are comfortable, it is difficult to find a real reason to change your lifestyle or pursue dreams, and when you are constantly busy, you never have the time to sit down and ask these questions in the first place.
Don’t allow busyness or comfort to rob you of your destiny. Take time to evaluate where you are in life with an open and unbiased mind. Go down the rabbit hole and it is likely that you will come out of the other side with a better understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the actions required to achieve it.
I've been overwhelmed by all of the support I've received over the past few weeks and today, I wanted to take a minute to share where I'm at and what my plans are for the future.
Alex Dodd is also known as Ali Afshar and is an actor and producer, known for Three Kings (1999), Godzilla (1998) and The Siege (1998) and is also the founder/president of the world record holding auto racing team Easy Street Motorsports (ESX).
He is the creator of the exclusive ESX Super Vantage Aston Martin and ESX STI Subaru vehicles. Alex and his company ESX raced for Subaru of America for 7 years from 2001 through 2007 and won two NHRA National Championships in 2006 & 2007.
“You can sleep when you are dead”
1. Always be Hustling
You can sleep when you are dead, or as Newton put it “A body in motion tends to stay in motion.” Once you gain momentum, it is imperative that you keep hustling and keep grinding to ensure continued success.
While there is plenty of debate about the effects of sleep and success, if you want to be successful, you will lose sleep to achieve your goals. If you want to achieve great things, you have to be willing to lose sleep, put in the effort, and work ungodly hours for a certain amount of time. But it will be worth it.
2. Do What You Love
As cliche as it may sound, a life spent doing anything other than things you love, is a life of drudgery and pain. Why would you willingly subject yourself to daily work that you find dull and uninspiring just for an added 0 on your paycheck?
Do what you love and the money will follow (give that what you love is more than smoking weed and playing xbox). If you live your life doing things that light you up with a passion, you will never work a day in your life, and money and impact will be a natural byproduct.
Don’t waste your life with things you don’t love. Follow the advice of your middle school teacher and do what you love.
3. Use Your Passions Instead of Drugs and Alcohol
Shit happens. Welcome to the real world. When it does, many men are tempted to fall into drugs and alcohol to escape their problems instead of facing them head on. Instead of falling for this trap, dive headfirst into your passions and create a life centered around the things you love to help yourself heal and get through the hard times.
Bad things will happen, it’s up to you whether you allow them to destroy you and ruin your life with addiction, or whether you use it as a catalyst to create your best self.
4. Change the World with Kindness
The world is full of ass holes. It’s full of wannabes and windbags trying to seem important and putting others down in the process. Don’t be like them.
Life is short, love others, be kind and leave nothing on the table because you never know when it is your time. You will never regret a life of passion, love, and kindness. Period.
Jason Hanson is a former Central Intelligence Agency officer the author of The Covert Guide to Concealed Carry a frequent writer for Combat Handguns magazine and Personal and Home Defense magazine and an NRA Certified Instructor
He is also skilled in: Personal Protection, Risk Assessment, Firearms, Security Operations, Private Investigations, Counter Terrorism, Vulnerability Assessment, Emergency Management.
Jason was born and raised in Northern Virginia and spent 6 years with the CIA. He then moved to Utah with his wife and children to start a security business and now runs Spy Escape and Evasion, training individuals on how to better protect themselves and their families. Jason is also the author of the new book Spy Secrets that Can Save Your Life.
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you’d better be running”~Christopher McDougall
1. A Solid Morning Routine is Essential
If you want to achieve success in any area of your life, a powerful morning routine is essential! Jason shared with us in his interview how having a morning “Power Hour” has helped him instill successful habits and stay on track for years.
Some of the best things to include in a morning routine are: Exercise, nutrition (green smoothie, or a healthy breakfast), meditation, goal setting, journaling and reading.
2. In Real Life Situations Try to Deflate, Not Confront
In the real world, it’s better to prevent dangerous situations before they ever happen. Instead of trying to prepare to defend against an attacker, focus first on never getting attacked.
The basic rules of this, as shared by Jason are to
1. Always be aware of and in tune with your environment (get off of your cell phone)
2. Always keep your head up and make it known with your posture that you aren’t as easy target
3. Bonus: Get fit, the bigger you are and the more you look like you can handle yourself, the less likely you are to be targeted.
If you see someone following you or acting odd, don’t duck and run like hollywood, but turn and face them, make eye contact, and verbally make it clear that you are aware of what they are doing with an assertive “Can I help you?”
3. A Few Safety Pointers
Below are a few key safety pointers from Jason:
1. Whenever checking into a hotel, always ask for 2 keys. This makes it look like you have someone else joining you making you less of a target
2. Whenever possible always select a hotel room between the 3rd and 6th floor as these rooms are less likely to get robbed (since they are harder to escape from) but also leave you ample ability to leave in the event of an emergency.
3. When abroad, always ask the hotel about taxi services and be sure that you detail the route you want your driver to take prior to leaving with him so that you can make sure he is not taking you somewhere to rob or harm you, or simply so you know you aren’t being overcharged.
4. At home, make your home the last place people would want to rob. Put up security system warning signs on the walkway, in the back windows and in the front yard. Even if you don’t have a dog, leave a dog bowl outside to make it look like you do (really, who wants to tangle with a Mastiff), and if you can afford it, put cameras (or decoys) up. Basically take the rule of showing that you aren’t an easy target and apply it to your home.
4. Never Give Up
No matter how hard things get, never, ever, ever, ever give up. If you keep working you will see success. 10 years from now will come whether you give up or not, but your perseverance will determine whether it comes with you having achieved your goals or not.
Martin Grunburg is the designer/inventor of Habit Factor® as well as the author of the international bestselling book sharing the same name. He has presented at TEDx in the United Arab Emirates, and his work has been featured in the world’s most popular productivity blogs such as Lifehacker.com and Mashable.com.
Prior to developing and authoring The Habit Factor, Martin has been a partner in C3 Networx, formerly Home2Office Computing Solutions, Inc. As founder/COO, he’s been nominated twice for the Entrepreneur of the Year award and has twice led his team to win the Better Business Bureau Award for Marketplace Ethics.
“If you want to find the secret of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration”~Nikola Tesla
1. Pressure = Force/Area
This basic scientific formula can actually offer incredible insights into the world of success and productivity.
For examples Parkinson’s Principle, which states that the pressure and speed of completion of a task will increase as the timeline decreases can be derived from this formula. Pressure (the importance of a project and how much effort you will put into it) is equal to force (the difficulty of the task) divided by area (the amount of time you have to complete a task)
For example, if I tell you that you have to complete a perfectly written 3,000 word article in the next 3 months or else you will lose all of your financial assets ….how much pressure would you feel? Despite the large financial cost, you would likely feel decidedly unperturbed.
Now what if I said that you have 3 hours?
You would move heaven and earth to get that article done!
This is actually a very powerful principle that you can leverage in your life to achieve results at a more rapid pace. By creating more impending deadlines and higher stakes, you will be forced to become more creative, find time to pursue your goals, and actually get the work done because of this positive pressure.
2. Pressure is a Neutral Tool
There has been significant research done on the affects of pressure on the human mind and body over the past years, and what Martin has found is that, despite what popular science says, pressure is neither good nor bad, it is merely a tool.
If unmanaged and unchecked, pressure can build up and cause all sorts of issues, like many other stressors. However, if used strategically to increase the efficiency with which tasks are completed and the speed of implementation, pressure can be a fantastic tool for massive productivity and results.
So in the end, pressure, like so many other things, is neutral. It is neither good nor bad. It is simply how you use it.
3. Pressure Creates Peace of Mind
Exposing yourself to intentional pressure can help create confidence, and peace of mind during stressful situations. The scientific formula for equilibrium is the equal offset of pressure. Navy SEALs go through thousands of hours and years of training before they enter into combat so that when the actual bullets are flying, and bombs are going off, they are already used to the pressure of the environment and able to respond with calm, swift confidence.
By properly planning, preparing, and practicing for any given situation, you increase your chances of success dramatically once you are actually under the pressure of game day. It’s like the old saying “The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in war.”
Leon Logothetis is a global adventurer, motivational speaker & philanthropist. It wasn’t always that way. He used to be a broker in the city of London where he felt uninspired and chronically depressed. He gave it all up for a life on the road. This radical life change was inspired by the inspirational movie The Motorcycle Diaries.
Leon has visited more than 90 countries and traveled to every continent. He is the host of the TV series Amazing Adventures Of A Nobody, which is broadcast across the world by National Geographic International and, over the course of three seasons, sees Leon cross America, the United Kingdom and Europe on just 5 dollars, 5 pounds, and 5 euros a day, respectively.
Leon has documented his travels for numerous media outlets including Good Morning America, Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle,Outside, Good, Psychology Today, and The New York Times.
His book, Amazing Adventures of a Nobody, is in stores now. His new book The Kindness Diaries, published by Readers Digest, is available now and chronicles Leon’s circumnavigation of the globe on kindness.
“Never, never, never, never give up.”~Winston Churchill
1. Removing Money Allows You to Connect with Others
During his travels, Leon found that by removing money from the equation (i.e. relying on kindness of strangers and not residual income to make his travels a success) he was able to connect for fully and openly with people.
When you remove money from the equation, you no longer have a sense of superiority, and you no longer act as if you have nothing to gain from genuine connection. When you rely on other people’s kindness instead of your own wallet, every person you meet becomes a treasure chest just waiting to be opened.
2. It’s About Kindness Not Money
Life is not about income, it’s about impact and kindness. It doesn’t matter whether you die penniless or a billionaire, if you did not impact others and live a life of joy and kindness, it was all for naught.
While money can empower you to live a life of greater impact and enable you to extend greater kindness towards others, it is not the end game. It is not the end all be all. It’s a tool, impact and kindness are the products you are trying to build.
3. Live a Life of Passion and Adventure
Too often, we get caught up in the social norms. We care so much about what society says, what mom & dad say, what our friends say, that we never pause to ask what do we have to say about all of this? Live life on your terms, doing things that make you passionate, otherwise, you will live a life of pain, boredom, and just plain unimportance.
4. Commit to Yourself
In line with the point above. If you want to start living a life of purpose, you need to commit to take care of yourself first. This is not saying that you become a self-centered, arrogant jerk, but rather that you realize that if you aren’t living a life of purpose and passion, then you will not be able to help others do the same.
5. It’s Ok to be Different
One of the most important lessons to learn is that it is ok to be different. As Mark Twain said, “If you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Are you on the side of the majority right now? Are you going with the flow because it is what everyone else is doing and what they expect you to do? Or are you living life to the fullest, grabbing it by the balls and going out with joy and excitement every day?
Amish Shah is a conscious entrepreneur best known for developing innovative platforms, crafting impressive marketing campaigns, and creating rapid business/sales growth models built to scale. Amish is a visionary and a futurist with many of his ideas and concepts being larger than life.
In just 6 years from his original start with affiliate marketing (in 2003), Amish had run thousands of different advertising campaigns in more than 100 different markets. He tested campaigns over 50 different traffic sources and was able to serve up over 100 billion impressions, which resulted in over $50 million dollars in sales.
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours”~Henry David Thoreau
1. If You Want to be Successful Make Yourself Uncomfortable
Everyone wants to achieve success, but few people are willing to make themselves uncomfortable enough to actually do it. Few people are willing to “burn their boats.”
If you truly want to be successful, make success your only option. Move to a new city without any support living only on what your business makes, hand in your two weeks notice before you think you are ready, or in Amish’s case, buy a $400,000 home you can’t afford (not what we would recommend)
2. Affiliate Marketing is One of the Best Ways to Start Making Money Online
Amish made his first million only with affiliate marketing, and in this day and age, affiliate marketing remains one of the greatest ways to make money online for the young entrepreneur.
There is little to no overhead, you do not manage any stock or inventory, and you are not responsible for the product itself, you are just responsible for getting it in front of people. If done right, and with integrity, affiliate marketing can be your vehicle for financial abundance and freedom.
3. Massive Risks Can Reap Massive Rewards
Very rarely does someone achieve massive success without massive risk. If you want to make it in this world and economy, you are going to have to take risks, and sometimes the risks won’t be what you expect.
Everyone will risk failure, but you may also risk alienating friends and family because they don’t understand what you are doing, you may risk temporary security, you may risk success without the character to back it up. Whatever the case, realize that you will have to take massive risks for massive results.
4. Money Alone Does Not Determine Happiness
Money alone will not make you happy. Happiness comes from feeling like you are improving the world, taking care of your mind and body, cultivating great relationships and positively impacting others.
Amish learned this the hard way when, while making millions, he was depressed, severely sick, and suicidal. After focusing on taking care of his body and improving his health as well as creating a business he was passionate about, he became happy, healthy, and fulfilled in life.
5. Find Something You Are Passionate About
Life is too damn short to do uninspiring shit. Plain and simple, if you want to live an awesome life, you need to do things that you are passionate about on a daily basis. Never get so caught up in a paycheck that you waste your passions for dollars.
Dr. Joe Serio is an international speaker, trainer, and author who holds a Ph.D. in Criminal Justice from Sam Houston State University (SHSU), with a specialization in Leadership and Organizational Behavior. His career is highlighted by unique experiences in the former Soviet Union investigating the Russian mafia, including a year spent working in the Organized Crime Control Department of the Soviet national police prior to the collapse of the USSR.
“Problems are not stop signs they’re guideline”~Dr. Robert Schuler
1. Learn to Say No More
Something that many people are fearful of is appearing selfish and unkind to others. This leads to many of us saying yes when we should be saying no.
One of the best things you can begin to do, both for your productivity and for your general sense of peace and well being is to start saying no more often. Whenever other people start to put demands on your time that are incongruent with your goals and lifestyle, stick to the old anti drug motto and just say no.
2. Suppress the Ego Expand the Heart
Many people are suffering from fear because they are solely focused on themselves. They are only pursuing big dreams, and trying to take risks for personal gain and increase.
However, when you start to shift your focus towards others, you are now able to face fears with greater ease. When you have a big enough “why” to face your fears that encompasses people and things that you love and want to positively impact, the fear will evaporate, replaced by a high level of resolve to do what you set out to do.
3. Stop Trying to Please Everyone
The quickest way to live a life of misery and heartache is to try and please everyone all the time. While this may seem a bit counterintuitive considering that the last point talks about focusing on others, once you dig a little deeper, there is no conflict.
There is a fine line between trying to please everyone and trying to impact the world for the better. One path will lead you to do things that you don’t enjoy to garner the approval of people you don’t like, and the other will lead you to help society and contribute to things you believe in and care about.
Who cares if your alcoholic co worker thinks your goals of entrepreneurship are pointless, who cares if your broke family members laugh when you say you’re going to start an online business…who cares?!
Live life on your terms and work on pleasing the people that really matter in your life, starting with yourself.
4. Get As Much Experience As Possible
The first step to success is to get as much experience as possible. Do the necessary research, learn what you need to, and then take some freaking action. Get as much experience as you possibly can, stop procrastinating and get out there.
You don’t need a PHD or some sort of certificate from someone else, just freaking choose yourself and get to work.
Micha Mikailian is a serial entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience and over 8 startups. He made his first million dollars in his early twenties and has continued to grow and expand his empire today.
He’s committed to creating and supporting businesses that live on the bleeding edge of our evolution and are contributing to a more sustainable, just, and abundant world for all of us.
He is currently the CEO and founder of Intently, a website browser extension that helps you stay focused on your goals by replacing all ads online with motivational and goal oriented pictures.
1. Learn to See Yourself as an Entrepreneur
When you begin identifying yourself as an entrepreneur, you start to make it a part of your identity and way of life. You no longer see yourself as an overworked employee but rather an entrepreneur who is building his side hustle into a business that will give him the time and freedom he and his family want.
When you identify as an entrepreneur, you no longer see yourself as a college student trying to figure life out, but a young businessman preparing to innovate and change the world and learning the skills necessary to do it.
How you see yourself will determine who you become. See yourself as an entrepreneur.
2. Entrepreneurship is a Tool
Many famous entrepreneurs claim that business is a game, and while business itself may be a game, entrepreneurship is a tool. It is a tool to create freedom and wealth and happiness in people’s lives. It is a tool to change the world for the better and inspire others to be the change they want to see.
3. Focus on Your Personal Development
“Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development because success is something you attract by the person you become”
In the podcast, Micha shared how, like many pro athletes, even though he had made a lot of money, his character and personal development did not match the income. This lead to a number of very poor life choices and multiple failures.
If you want to see and sustain success, you need to develop yourself as an individual. Learn to handle your emotions, learn to set and achieve goals, to have a vision bigger than yourself and interact socially.
Then and only then will you be successful.
4. Outsource the Unnecessary
Life is full of unnecessary crap. The more of it that you can outsource, the better and more productive your life will be.
Cooking, editing, scheduling, cleaning, anything that can be eliminated should as soon as you have the income. The less energy and brain power you expend on useless crap the more you can expend on creating your ideal lifestyle and having as much fun as possible.
1. Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
2. The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz
Scott Brills is a world traveler, international entrepreneur, and founder of Pajoma Safaris. He has spent the past half of his life traveling around the world going on innumerable adventures as a location independent entrepreneur.
1. Learning to Adapt is One of the Best Skills You Can Acquire
During his travels, Scott realized that learning to be adaptable is one of the greatest skills anyone can acquire. Like Darwin said “It is not the strongest, or the smartest, but the most adaptable that survive.”
If you want to survive the world of business, romance, health or anything else for that matter, learning to adapt is the best skill to cultivate. Learn to think on your feet and be willing to change your actions when your plan doesn’t work as expected.
2. Wealth is Not Always Determined by Monetary Possessions
Something that Scott noticed as he traveled was that, with the exception of extreme poverty and refugee situations, is that material possession does not equal happiness and inner wealth.
Many of the people he met in his travels living simple, minimalistic lives were just as happy and content, if not more so, than the average 1st world millionaire.
This is not to say that money and material possession is bad or that it does not contribute to happiness, but rather to say that it is but a small part of the whole when it comes to living a happy fulfilled life.
Great relationships and experiences will always improve your fulfillment more than a new rolex or an extra 0 at the end of your paycheck.
3. As Humans We Are All Generally The Same
With the exception of some moderate social and cultural differences. People are all the same. We all want better relationships, we more happiness, we want to feel like we are making a difference. We aren’t as different as we first appear, and once you understand this you are able to interact with people from any culture or lifestyle with ease.
4. Don’t Think Linearly
Often, people assume that life is a linear journey. We are born, go to school, go to college, get a job, retire, and then we die. What people don’t realize is that life isn’t linear. If you want to live a successful and fulfilling life, it will require that you think outiside the box and do things in an unconventional way.
Starting a business in college, getting your degree after taking 5 years to travel, deferring the 9-5 life until you pursue your dreams and your bucket list.
Live life in the way that will leave you the most fulfilled and happy at the end of the day. Not the way people tell you you have to.
Coach Michael Taylor is an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, author, and a radio show host who has dedicated his life to helping men reach their full potential.
Despite being born in the inner city and dropping out of highschool, Michael became a mid level manager at a multi-million dollar company at only 22. However, his success did not last, and everything he built fell apart resulting in divorce, bankruptcy and foreclosure.
Michael went on a 15 year personal development journey to rebuild who he was, and that journey has resulted in his company A New Conversations About Men
Many men, sadly, spend their whole lives in pursuit of material possessions in a search for happiness. They believe that the fancier watch, faster car, or bigger house will make them feel more fulfilled and happy, but after the initial high of the purchase wears off, they are left just as empty and alone as before.
Real men understand that true happiness comes from within, it comes from intimately connecting with others and having deep and meaningful relationships, it comes from doing work that you are passionate about, it comes from being generous towards others, but most of all, happiness simply comes by being at peace with who you are and knowing that you are enough no matter what the external circumstances.
If you want to be truly happy in your life, you must realize that stuff will not make you happy. It may give you a dopamine rush for a couple of days, but it will wear off. Your focus must be on becoming the grounded man, and internalizing the fact that you are enough. Then and only then will you be truly happy with life.
While many men believe that they know what it means to be a man, the majority of what is purported to be “masculine” in society is anything but. The following are the 5 most common illusions about manhood and what it means to be a real man
Illusion 1: You Must Be Disconnected
Society would have you believe that to be a true man, you must be a robot. You cannot express emotions, it’s not ok to cry, showing that you have feelings is a sign of weakness and should be avoided at any cost.
This is garbage. A man who is truly comfortable in his own skin, a man who is truly an emotionally mature man, realizes that showing his feelings is actually a sign of strength, because when you show your feelings you become vulnerable and you open yourself to the world saying “This is who I am and I won’t change it to conform to your standards”
That is true masculinity.
Illusion 2: Men Must Use Sexual Conquests to Validate their Masculinity
As men, we are told that if we want to be truly masculine, we have to bed dozens of women with complete ease, carelessness, and a borderline apathetic attitude. The truth is far different.
All religious dogma aside, a real man realizes that sex is meant for connection and is in no way indicative of his worth as a man. Sex is wonderful, and when used to increase the intimacy of a relationship, becomes an incredible experience. However, if a man uses sex as a way to validate himself to the world, he is on a one way track to broken relationships and misery.
Illusion 3: To Be a Man You Must Have Money and Material Wealth
While there is nothing wrong with material wealth, making money your sole focus in life, is the mark of an immature man, not a masculine man.
Ambition is wonderful, wanting to get to the next level is wonderful, building a lifestyle of comfort and luxury is wonderful, using materialism as a drug to sedate yourself from the struggles you are facing is not.
Being a man does not have anything to do with making a lot of money. While it’s true that it takes a certain breed of man to make millions, it takes an even higher breed of man to make millions while living his purpose, having deep connected relationships, and being totally in love with who he is and where he is going.
Illusion 4: To be a Man You Have to Acquire Title and Fame
Title and fame are irrelevant to masculinity. The simple fact is that there are more men who live and work behind the scenes who show true masculinity then there are truly “manly” movie and music stars.
Being a man is about who you are, not who knows about you.
Illusion 5: To be a Man You Have to Compete with Other Men
Competition is a great motivator and can be a force multiplier in may men’s lives. But it is not the mark of a man. True men look for ways that they can collaborate and work together, not compete.
While many men may feel that they are alone on whatever path the are walking, the truth is, there are hundreds of men out there going through the same things you are facing. Don’t be afraid to seek help form other men, remember “Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens another man.”
Stay sharp, swallow your pride and build a community where you can work through the struggles and triumphs you will face together.
Vast physical pleasure, deep love, and even union with divine source can be experienced through sex. Sexual energy is the source of all life in this world. Christopher Sunyata teaches people how to embrace their sexual power and artfully conduct it through their body and intimate relationships, integrating this power into their whole life.
Drawing upon decades of practice and study under masters of sexual yoga, Taoist exercises, and Buddhist meditation, he teaches ancient body-centered practices without dogma or esoteric language that lead people to discover the secret wisdom already present within their own body. By learning to trust this wisdom within their body, people can reclaim passion and life energy that is their birthright, and create intimate relationships that deepen in love and chemistry over the years.
Prior to teaching he was a successful international project manager responsible for over a billion dollars in revenue, a medical device engineer with seven patents, and a ceramic artist. He has raised four children, two of his own, including one who has significant disabilities. He lives in Boulder, Colorado with his beloved wife Karlene.
1. You Need to Take Time to Acknowledge Your Present Mind and Body
Every man needs to take time out of his day to simply acknowledge how he feels in the present moment, but more than merely acknowledging, he needs to ask what his body is telling him.
Your mind and body are telling you a story, and when you are fully present and connected to your body you may realize that there are things that are happening in your life; stressors, lack of exercise, tension, etc. that need to be dealt with for you to live life fully.
2.You Will Die Someday
One of the most uncomfortable truths of life is our own mortality. No matter who you are, what you do, how much money you make, how many women you sleep with, or how big of an impact you make, you will still die. This is an inescapable truth, and although it is unpleasant can also be incredibly freeing.
People tend to ruminate on shit that really doesn’t matter, they worry about the car they drive, what clothes they are going to wear, and a number of other things that will make no difference in the long run.
If you want to be living a life of joy and freedom, learn to accept your death and live in accordance with the reality of your own fate.
Love openly and fully, connect with people, get away from your damn phone and just be present. take care of your body, never hold back anything, go on adventures. We are all dead men walking, better make the most of it.
3. Learn to Accept and Enjoy Your Various Emotional States
Our life is like a river, flowing between the banks of pleasure and pain. The only time we get into trouble is when we try to get out of the river and onto the bank, either of pleasure or pain, and we try to stay there. But as long as we realize that our life is a river and pleasure and pain are the boundaries, we’re going to do fine. We’re right in the middle between the two of them. We can’t really catch hold on either side. A lot of things go by.” ~Reggie Ray
4. Perfection is About Constant Improvement
So many people are overly critical of themselves because they are not perfect. They fuss over every little mishap and screwed up event in their life without realizing that perfection is an unattainable goal, a carrot on a string.
True perfection is constantly improving who you are. It’s about being better than the man you were yesterday, learning new things, improving your character, your mind, your body, and your spirit.
Don’t worry about being better than everyone else or never messing up, simply work to be better day by day and you will experience joy and fulfillment.
Olaniyi “Nee” Sobomehin is a former American football fullback. He played college football at Portland State. He was signed by the New Orleans Saints as an undrafted free agent in 2008.
After being cut from the NFL due to an injury, Olaniyi decided to begin coaching and from there, in adittion to being a full time fire fighter, he has built a coaching company imnotyou.com to help young athletes be successful at an elite level.
1. If Your Mindset isn’t Right Your Life Won’t be Right
Everything in your life, good or bad, stems from your mindset and your internal beliefs. If your mindset is shit, your life will be shit, it’s that simple.
You must develop the habit of improving the quality of your thinking daily. Stop tolerating weak and amateur level behavior and beliefs from yourself, challenge all of your limiting beliefs that say “I can’t do this” or “I’m not worthy.”
Quit complaining and making excuses and just get to work, improve your mindset and build the life of your dreams.
2. Begin Your Morning in the Right State
One of the habits nearly every successful person follows is a powerful morning routine. How you start your days plays a huge role in the outcome of your days, and your days control the outcome of your life, so if you want to take control of your life, take control of your mornings.
Some habits you can begin instilling into your morning routine for rapid results are:
1. Affirmations: Tell yourself that you are the best over and over, and over
2. Meditation: Quiet your mind and get present and focused for the day ahead
3. Read: There is almost nothing as important as educating yourself, read, read, read.
4. Exercise: Get the endorphins going and the blood flowing
3. Eliminate Things That Are Distracting You From Your Goals
We live in a digital age where big companies capitalize on creating products that distract us from living our lives. If you want to be truly successful, you must begin to ruthlessly eliminate things that distract you from achieving your goals.
Do you really need to spend hours on facebook each day for “Business,” is the next episode of Breaking Bad really more important than your dreams and aspirations?
Start eliminating distractions so that you can fill your life with real experiences and real achievement and impact.
4. Read as Much as You Can
One of the cornerstone habit of every successful individual is massive self education. The most important investment you can make is in yourself, and reading is one of the easiest and least expensive ways to do that.
Begin incorporating an hour of reading or listening to audiobooks into your life every day. Fill your head with the thoughts and life lessons of the greatest people who have ever lived and watch the quality of your life transform.
5. To Get Good Results You Need Good Emotions
Your emotions are either helping or hurting you, there is no in between. If you want to see exceptional results in your life you need to have an exceptional quality of emotions.
Learn to control how you feel in each moment. Understand the affect that sleep, exercise, posture, diet, and even your clothing has on how you feel in each moment and begin to build a lifestyle conducive to positive emotions.
6. Stop Being a Bitch aka Own Your Situation
Whenever you find yourself allowing circumstances and negative emotions to rule your life, or whenever you begin playing the blame game, stop being a little bitch and own your situation.
You are where you are because of the actions you have (or haven’t) taken. You are responsible for your life, no one else. When you take 100% responsibility for your life, there is no one left to blame, and when there is no one left to blame you can begin living the life that you were born to live.
Cole is an author, investor, award winning speaker and entrepreneur. He is passionate about truly living life, creating massive financial success for himself and others, and most importantly, giving back. Cole has taught tens of thousands of people to be more than just alive, but to become the best versions of themselves, create massive profits, and then impact others by living a life of significance.
Having barely escaped death 2 times in 2 separate accidents, Cole has a true appreciation for life and lives it to the fullest. He loves boating, is a water sport enthusiast, adrenaline junkie, drives fast cars, is a husband, father, and philanthropist. Cole’s story of losing everything, even temporarily his ability to walk, to now having monumental success is truly inspirational.
1. The World Teaches Life Wrong
Society, the media, friends and even family have taught you the wrong way to go about doing life.
We are all taught from a young age that if we just go to college, get good grades and a good degree, then find a safe secure job and work our asses off for 20 years, then we will be ok. We will be successful.
We’re taught that success is about keeping up with the Joneses, having a bigger house, a faster car, a bigger credit card max, or sending your kids to a more prestigious private school.
But what we aren’t taught is that success is really about doing things that you love. Success is about finding what you are passionate about and good at, finding your God given gifts and then applying those to live a life of impact.
Success is about having fulfilling relationships, meaningful work, joyful experiences, and leaving a legacy. And if big houses and fast cars are a part of that for you, than more power to you. Just realize that there is more to life than society’s definition of success, and keeping up with the joneses and working that “secure” job until you retire is a one stop ticket to a life of regret.
2. Focus on Creation
If you want to succeed in life and business, then start focusing on creation. Spend more time focusing on how you can create better content, create more value in the market place, and create better resources for people and spend less time worrying how you can “get” more.
Business is about creation, it’s about adding value and building something that your audience wants and needs.
3. Eliminate Distractions that Prevent You From Living Life
Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, Porn. All of these, when taken to extremes are nothing more than distractions that will prevent you from living the life of your dreams.
If you want to be successful and live life on your terms, you must begin to eliminate distractions and toxic activities/individuals that are poisoning your life. If you constantly find yourself wasting hours on Facebook, block it. If you are always watching Netflix, cancel your subscription for a while.
(Do realize that after a long day of working on important things and getting crap done, you have earned the right to crash with some Game of Thrones of The Walking Dead, it’s when it prevents you from achieving desired results that it becomes an issue)
4. Surround Yourself With Top People in Your Industry
Success leaves clues, it’s not an accident or an art, it’s a science.
If you want to be as successful as you can, you must surround yourself with other individuals in your industry who are achieving at a high level. Figure out what they are doing and copy it. As Picasso said “Good artists copy, great artists steal.”
You must realize that success is not a solo venture, you need mentors and accountability in your life and by surrounding yourself with people achieving on a higher level you will basically shortcut your way to success by avoiding pitfalls that they made and finding the things that worked and doing them that much quicker.
Honored by several professional associations, Dr. Barton Goldsmith is a multi-award winning psychotherapist, a syndicated columnist and radio host, as well as a recognized keynote speaker. He has appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends, CBS News, NBC News, Beauty and The Geek, The Ricki Lake Show and The Mancow Muller Show.
1. Get Really Good at Asking Questions
One of the keys to being good at relationships is being good at asking questions. People love to talk about themselves and when they find someone who is good at asking them about their life and appears genuinely interested, you become the most valuable person in the world.
The key here is that you are genuinely interested. If you are just asking questions to make conversation, it will show. Treat every person you meet like a great mystery you are trying to solve and discover one clue at a time.
2. Run Through the Best, Worst and Likely Case Scenarios in Your Head
Whenever you get paralyzed by fear, run through the best case, worst case, and likely case scenario in your head.
If you are an exceptionally shy guy at a bar, and you want to go talk to that beautiful girl over in the corner, ask yourself; what the best, worst, and most likely thing to happen.
The best case is probably that she falls head over heels for you, you get her number, set up a date..maybe even sneak a makeout session in. The worst case is that she tells you to piss off, maybe she spills a drink and makes a scene, nothing you won’t recover from and likely a great story to share with your buddies later that week.
The likely case, however, is that you go over, have a pleasant conversation, get her number and part ways.
When you dissect a situation in this way, you make it seem much more doable and less frightening. The thing is, the best case is great, the worst case isn’t that bad, and the likely case makes the uncomfortable action worth it.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Learn and Use Stupid Jokes
One of the best social tactics for arguments, disagreements, and awkward pauses is to become great at comedy. Watch stand up comedy, start reading satire, just expose yourself to new content that you can use later on, you will be glad that you did.
4. Get a Vision for Your Life
If you don’t know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else entirely. It is essential to your success in life and relationships that you have a vision for your life, that you know what you want as an end game and start moving towards it.
Maybe you don’t know exactly what career path you want, where you want to live or who (if) you want to marry, but I am assuming that you want to have as much health as possible, as much wealth and freedom as possible and as much love as possible?
Start moving towards those things and don’t stop.
5. Family is Everything
At the end of the day, relationships are all that really matter. Don’t give up your family and the people who love you for money or fame. Always prioritize being a good husband, son, and father above everything else.
Jim Wolfe shows men how to create an amazing reality for themselves that they can then share with others.
He is obsessed with reading, writing, learning, travel, and personal growth. He draws on a tremendous variety of sources to create effective educational experiences.
He tends to be science and evidence-minded, but he’s open to anything that actually works and looks for personal growth lessons in literally everything he does.
Jim doesn’t want to motivate you for a few hours or days. He wants your internal life followed closely by your external life to be permanently better after you connect with him.
1. You Need to Develop a Foundational Sense of Self Worth
If you want to achieve true internal bliss and a sense of joy that is not contingent upon your current circumstances, it is essential that you develop an internal sense of self worth that is not dependent on any achievement, external goal, or societal construct.
If you truly want to live a life that is happy and fulfilled, you must see yourself as worthy because you are you, not because of any grade, tax bracket, bench press record or relationship. It is essential to your inner well being that you derive your sense of self worth from being and not doing.
2. Success is Relative to the Individual
In a society focused on fast cars, fancy watches, big houses, and beautiful women, it is easy to get caught up in the societal definition of success instead of your own definition of success.
Realize that success is relative to the individual, there is no one size fits all and no one else can determine what success means for you.
For some people, success really is the Ferrari, country club house and trophy wife, for others it’s traveling the world and making an impact and for others it’s simply being a good father and husband and enjoying the work that you do.
Discover what success means to you and go after it with all of your heart, ignore anyone who tells you that you have to pursue a certain path to become successful and forge your own path.
3. You Can Improve Your Happiness Through Simple Practices
Science has proven that happiness is determined by a small handful of practices and mindsets, not your external circumstances or challenges. By practicing gratitude daily, focusing on things within your control, unplugging and getting present and pursuing your dreams and goals, you will increase your happiness exponentially.
4. Having a Support Group Will Help You Overcome Your Fears
One of the best ways to overcome your fears is to have a group of individuals who are around you supporting you who are willing to challenge you and push you into the things that scare you.
By surrounding yourself with individuals who are unwilling to accept low class behavior and b.s. excuses, you will put yourself in a position where you are forced to succeed because your circle of influence will leave you no other option.
If you want to become world class and live an incredible life, you will have to do things that scare you. And the easiest way to do things that scare you is to find other people who are doing and have done those same things who will hold your feet to the fire and keep you accountable.
5. Regret is Worse than Failure
We are all going to die one day, and there is nothing in this world worse than living a life so that when you come to the end, you wish you had done things differently. You wish you had been a better man, pursued your dreams, stayed with your family, or followed your passions.
Regret is worse than failure. Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid to never try and regret your inaction.
A 2014 Dayton Literary Peace Prize nominated author, Christine Horner is a humanitarian and the co-founder of the What Would Love Do Foundation. Christine has been featured on many programs and is an internationally syndicated writer. When not writing, cooking, or enjoying yoga and tennis, Christine appreciates family, travel, and spending time in Nature.
Christine’s latest book, Awakening Leadership: Embracing Mindfulness, Your Life’s Purpose and the Leader You Were Born to Be, shows us that we each have an essential role to play in leading humanity toward a new era of true equality and prosperity. In the New Leadership Blueprint, it is through mindfulness that we reconnect with our life’s purpose, and finally begin to thrive.
1. When You Question Things Life Gets Interesting
One of the most important skills you can develop as a human being is to ask great questions.
Not only will this improve the quality of your relationships and how you interact with others, but it will also improve how you interact with yourself and the world around you.
Begin to question everything in your life from your beliefs about yourself, money, success, and happiness to your beliefs about society, the world, and god.
The more you question things, the more you shall discover and the better your life will be.
2. Take Time to Disconnect Daily
We live in a day and age of extreme connectedness. If we aren’t on our computers, we are on our phones, if we aren’t on our phones we are watching tv, and if we aren’t doing any of those things, we are probably sleeping.
A habit you should implement immediately is taking time every day to disconnect from your devices and get alone out in nature. Get on a walk or bike ride and put things into perspective.
Not only will the time away from your iPhone be rejuvenating, it will also help you to clear your mind of clutter and discover things about yourself and the world you never knew before.
3. All Great Leaders Have Understood that We Are All Connected
One of the common threads among all great leaders of peace (MLK, Ghandi, etc.) was the belief that we are all connected. We are all on this ride together, all sharing this human experience we are all “one.”
Understand this and it will change the way you interact with the world and those around you. You will have a new viewpoint, more compassion, more love and less anger.
Dane Maxwell is a serial entrepreneur, the founder of Zannee and the CEO of The Foundation program. He has taken his businesses from mere ideas to seven figure companies within a brief period of 5 years.
1. All You Have to Do is Care
That’s it. All you have to do is care.
If you want to succeed at business, health, love, spirituality or any other facet of your life, all you have to do is care. You have to care about what you are doing more than you care about the next episode of American Idol or the next porn video you were going to watch.
You have to care enough to get uncomfortable, to do the hard thing, to put in the work, to sweat, to cry and to bleed until you achieve your goal.
If you want a great relationship. All you have to do is care
If you want a successful, globally impactful business, all you have to do is care.
If you want to live the life of your dreams and help as many people as you possibly can along the way. All you have to do is care.
2. Accept Devastation on a Daily Basis
On the road to success, you will be devastated. It’s all but inevitable.
Part of the entrepreneurial lifestyle, and really life as a human being is accepting that at any moment you could be devastated on either a large or a small scale. If you want to lead a happy, fulfilled life, you must learn to accept this possibility and not run from it.
If you live your life in constant fear of devastation and failure, you will never truly live. If you accept the inherent risk of this human existence and accept that devastation could occur at any moment, then you are free to live fully and openly.
3. With the Context of Unconditional Love There is No Concept of Worth
Everyone is familiar with the concept of worth. Be it net worth, social worth or self worth, we have all heard the term and are all well versed ascribing worth to everything in our lives, especially ourselves.
However, Dane suggests that we should approach this concept from a completely different angle.
If you love yourself unconditionally there is no concept of worth, you are loves no matter how you are. No matter how well your business does. No matter if you are successful in your relationships, no matter if you feel lost and unsure, or on fire and passionate.
This idea of radical, unconditional love for both yourself and everyone in your life is the powerhouse for transformation.
4. True Power Comes from Being Vulnerable in Community
We always speak of a confident man as someone who has his shit together. Someone who is unaffected by others and who feels a total independence from outcome.
In the interview, Dane suggests that real power, true power, lies in authenticity and vulnerability. Real power lies in being able to look the people who are counting on you in the face and say “Guys I’m fucking scared, I don’t know what I’m doing.”
When you open yourself up, when you are vulnerable and honest, you are confident. It shows that you are a man who is willing to be hurt, who is willing to be ridiculed and mocked and who is willing to admit his own weaknesses and shortcomings.
True power lies in vulnerability
5. How You Treat Women is Indicative of Your Character
One of the greatest indicators of a man’s character is how he treats the women in his life.
Men who treat women as party favors and objects to be enjoyed for a night before pissing off are likely the same in all other areas of their lives. Their interactions in business, health and spirituality are likely equally shallow and disconnected.
If you want to be a great man, understand a woman’s heart. Be willing to sit with her for hours while she shares her feelings without any concern for your own desires. Be willing to work at a relationship and work to connect with a woman.
If you can understand the heart of a woman, you can unlock everything else in your life.
Will Arnold is a martial art instructor, trained in Systema by former Special Operations Unit professional, Vladimir Vasiliev, and former Navy officer, Mark Jakabcsin. Systema (Russian Martial Art) is a comprehensive system of study that improves the function of all physiological systems of the body and all three levels of human abilities: the physical, the psychological and the spiritual.
Through Zen Warrior Training, Will guides practitioners to let go of fear and tension, using Systema to strengthen the body, mind, and spirit.
1. Expand Your Awareness to Deal with Fear
One of the common problems we face when up against a stressful or “fight or flight” situation, is that we narrow our awareness to the problem. We focus only on the immediate threat, stressor, struggle or issue and do not open our awareness enough to see the alternatives that are available.
The key to mastering your fear is to open up your awareness, become aware of all of the opportunities within the situation and take action accordingly.
In the interview, Will talked about his Systema training, and how whenever he would train to defend against an attacker with a knife, his focus was not on the knife (the immediate problem) but the attacker as a whole and all of the space around him (the opportunities).
We can take this and apply it to any area of our life that we are currently struggling with, whether it’s finances, health or relationships.
Instead of focusing on the problem, instead of losing perspective and forfeiting your control. Detach yourself from the situation, look for the opportunities within it and move forward from there.
2. Realize that Everything Will End
One of the most painful truths of life, and also the most liberating, is that everything will someday end. No matter how amazing a relationship is, no matter how successful a business is, the very nature of life warrants that it will someday end.
Instead of fighting this and trying like hell to change it, you must accept this and use this knowledge to live fully in each moment. Instead of stressing over a relationship and wondering whether it will end, accept that it has already ended (if not today, sometime in the future) and live fully in the moment, being present and authentic with that person.
Fearing the end of things is fearing the inevitable. In the end, we all end up in the same place, the only difference is how well we lived and how openly we loved.
3. Realize that Many Qualities Seen as Bad Are Merely Misused
Often times when men start diving into personal development we find a number of qualities about ourselves that we feel guilty of and need to change. The thing we often don’t realize is that even characteristics like aggression and over confidence have their place in our lives, but only in certain situations.
4. Happiness is a Choice
Plain and simple. Happiness is a choice you make moment to moment by what you choose to focus on. You can choose to focus on the negative aspects of your life, on the pain, heartbreak and struggle, or you can focus on the positive and be thankful even when it may seem there’s nothing to be thankful for.
Choose happiness in the moment, because at the end of the day, that is everyone’s ultimate goal. To live a life where you were happy more than you were sad, where you smiled more than you frowned and laughed more than you cried.
Argentina-born Dan De Leon is a powerhouse DJ, blending his unique brand of Tribal, Tech and House rhythms with a kinetic crowd connection to mesmerizing effect. His magnetic appeal has propelled him to performances at top venues around the world where he delivers a crowd experience that crushes expectations and leaves in it’s wake a trail of melodies and memories that live on long after the night has ended.
Dan De Leon’s debut original studio production “SHOW YOU” was signed by DJ Chus and released on STEREO PRODUCTIONS in 2007.
His many productions and remixes since then have hit the BILLBOARD TOP 10 Dance Chart and have appeared on the world’s top DJ compilations including those of the preeminent GLOBAL UNDERGROUND and the legendary TOMMY BOY RECORDS. His remix work includes numerous BILLBOARD #1’s, Top 10’s and Top 20’s for Noelia, Timbaland, Nelly Furtado, Kristine W and Debby Holiday.
1. You Can’t Rest on Your Laurels
Whenever you are an artist, businessman, entrepreneur, athlete etc. it is often easy to work incredibly hard for a success, and then allow a single victory to go to your head causing you to stop striving the way you were before.
If you want to be truly successful in any profession (especially if you are a performing artist) you must have an incredibly short term memory for both successes and failures.
The show that went great, the business that plummeted, the deal that tripled your profit…none of that matters, all that matters is that you continue gaining momentum as you move forward and not allow success to cause complacency.
2. Just Keep Moving Forward Boldly
One of the only ways to achieve massive success in life is to move forward with bold determination every single day. If you want a result, go after it with all you have, be bold, seize opportunity and be willing to lay it all on the line for one chance, one opportunity, because that may be all that you get.
3. Always be Ready
Perhaps the greatest take away from the entire interview was Dan’s focus on proper preparation. Life will often send opportunities your way at unexpected times, and it is up to you to seize them.
However, what is more important than taking the chances life gives you is being ready, is having developed yourself into the man you need to be to seize these opportunities properly.
Life waits for no man and fortune favors the prepared.
4. Create Every Day
If you want success in your life, create every day. While in the interview, Dan talked specifically about music, this is applicable to all fronts of life.
If you want to be healthy, workout every day. Want to be rich? Gain momentum in your business every day Want to run a top blog? Create content every day.
Always be moving forward on your goals and dreams and never let yourself lose momentum
Sir John Hargrave is an author, comedian, and entrepreneur. After launching one of the world’s first humor websites, Zug.com, in 1995, he went on to author two books: Sir John Hargrave’s Mischief Maker’s Manual and Prank the Monkey.
His comedy has appeared in The New York Times, USA TODAY, The Boston Globe, Businessweek, Entertainment Weekly, and more. A self-proclaimed technology geek, Hargrave has appeared on MSNBC, The BBC, Comedy Central, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He lives in Boston with his wife and two children.
1. You Have to Become Aware of Your Mind & The Stories You Tell
One of the first steps to changing any habit or self belief is to become aware of it and how it is affecting you. If you want to fix problems in your romantic, financial, or physical life, you must first become aware of them.
In a day and age where we have millions of bits of sensory data thrown at us every second, it is often hard to get focused and calm your mind enough to really analyze what’s going on beneath the surface. This is where things like NLP, meditation, affirmations etc become essential.
The first step to mastering your life is to master your mind. You must become aware of all the thought processes that go through your head on a daily basis and start taking control of what you can.
2. How You See Yourself Will Eventually be Who You Become
One of the most self evident truths of life is that you become what you think and speak about most of the time. If you constantly tell yourself that you suck and that you are useless, you will eventually find that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy in your life.
However, the same is true for positive self talk, if you are constantly telling yourself that you are the best and that you will succeed no matter what, your brain will finds ways to make this a reality in your life.
The stories you tell yourself determine your destiny. Make sure you are telling the right story.
3. Ask Why 5 Times
Perhaps the most powerful exercise that you can do to discover the truth about various situations in your life is to ask yourself why five times.
If you think that you suck with women. Ask why, again, and again, and again, as many times as necessary until you find they true answer.
You can use this in any area of your life, for any question you are struggling with, it will quickly reveal the true reasons and intentions behind every choice, question and struggle you are facing.
David Eschenlohr is a German with a Bachelor’s Degree in English from a Swedish University. He’s the author of the book Rite of Passage: Memoirs of a Survivor of the Pickup Community, in which he tells the story of a young man who descents into a vicious cycle of self-help and pickup.
His unique approach to ‘living a deeper life’ is the result of studying Zen under Master Poraj, taking seminars with the biggest dating company in the world; Real Social Dynamics, and the most experiences pickup coach in history; Alex Social, extensive solo world travel, studying culture in an academic context, furocious reading, critical thinking, and an open mind.
Originally from a small town, David has experienced some of the biggest cities in the world, and now promotes a simplistic, yet deep lifestyle which penetrates beyond social norms and superficial self-image.
1. Don’t Follow Only One Voice
Today, many people make the mistake of falling for the guru syndrome. The mentality where you fall prey to listening to only one expert or individual.
The problem with this is, that no matter how intelligent or influential any one individual is, the lessons that they teach are mass marketed and not tailored to your specific circumstances and stage in life.
For example, while the pick up theory in Neil Strauss’s The Game, may work for a young 20 something year old who is terrible with women, it is probably less effective for the young man looking for a partner to share his life with.
Fill your head with as many different voices (who have the results you want) as possible. Get your info from a wide variety of sources, and then take action based off of where you are in life and what your goals are.
2. Do Not Lose Your Authentic Self for External Goals
On the way to the top, it is easy to lose your true self to external wants and desires. It is easy to become someone that you are not in pursuit of a goal that may not even be yours.
The easiest way to ensure that this does not happen is to make sure that your goals are in alignment with who you really are.
An example that David shared was a friend of his who got into the pickup game out of a desire to meet and attract a beautiful girlfriend. Instead, by delving into pickup and getting caught up in the goals of the game, he began a lifestyle of rampant debauchery that was in-congruent with who he was.
Never lose sight of who you really are and what you want for the goals of others. Make sure that everything you set out to do is in alignment with your authentic self.
3. To Become Self Reliant, Do Your Own Thing
One of the keys to being a happy, fulfilled man is self reliance, and the key to self reliance is to do your own thing. Go your own way, blaze your own trail and create your own life.
Life is too short to allow your path to be dictated by the wants and desires of others. If you have a goal or dream, go after it with all of your heart, regardless of popular opinion.
4. Learn to be Full in Movement Towards Your Goals
Like Hal Elrod said on the very first episode of Knowledge for Men “Love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams.” It is key to realize that if you want to be fulfilled, you have to be full in and of yourself, regardless of any exterior goal.
Success is a journey and a direction, not a destination. Realize that you will never reach success, you will only move towards it. Learn to be whole and complete in yourself and with the life that you have now while you move towards the life of your dreams.
5. Screw Purpose Embrace Direction
Today, the words purpose and passion are thrown out like candy. David is of the belief that instead of believing in one linear purpose for your life, you must develop a direction for your life.
Instead of having one ultimate goal for your future, develop a direction that you want to go. A path that you want to follow. Like the point above, it is key to realize that success is not a single event but a lifetime of reaching for bigger and better things.
So screw purpose and embrace your direction.
As an overworked entrepreneur, Grunburg set out to establish some balance and clarity in his life by attempting a “bucket list” (lifestyle/non-work related) item. The goal was to enter an elite paddleboarding race and complete a 32-mile open-ocean paddle — an event known as the Catalina Classic.
He later applied the very same technique to complete another major goal, an Ironman-distance triathlon. Both were successfully accomplished, yet he had no prior experience or base knowledge — no paddleboard, no road bike, not even running shoes.
He shared the methodology with a group of fellow entrepreneurs who were looking to achieve their own BIG goals. Before long, the group was sharing terrific feedback about the process and were experiencing incredible results for themselves; from doubling company revenues to losing weight and even surfing a dream 30’+ wave (story is in the book), just to name a few. Martin Grunburg is the author of “The Habit Factor: An Innovative Method to Align Habits with Goals to Achieve Success”
1. Habits are the Measure of Your Value to Society
At the end of the day, after all is said and done, one of the greatest determining factors of your value to society will be the habits that you cultivated. If you made a habit of greatness, innovation, kindness, and massive action, then this will be your legacy.
On the other hand, if you actively cultivated the habits of sloth, unreliability, greed, and selfishness, than your legacy will reflect this.
The impact that you have on society is directly proportional to the quality of the habits that you create in your life. Focus on creating beneficial habits and eliminating the rest, and you will leave this world better than you found it.
2. Habits are a Vehicle to Achieving Your Goals
Many say that achieving a goal is the best way to create a habit, however, the opposite seems to be true. If you focus your efforts on building habits that will aid you in your journey to a certain goal, you will expedite the process of reaching the goal itself.
Take time upon setting each new goal to ask yourself which habits will be most beneficial to helping you attain the goal and then focus on creating those habits.
3. P.A.R.R. (Plan, Act, Record, Reassess)
The general process for creating new habits is to:
Plan: Decide upon which habit you want to set, and why. Make sure you have the desire to achieve this habit, and the reasons to back up the desire. Then begin with small steps.
Plan to take one small action maybe just a few times each week. So if you are trying to get healthy, drinking 10 glasses of water on Monday and Friday or going for a 15 minute job on Tuesday and Thursday.
Set the initial plan for 28 days, and at the end of those 28 days, follow step 4.
Act: The next step is to actually do the small action for the big habit. Make sure you build in room in your plan for failed days.
For example, if your goal is to wake up at 5 a.m. and your plan is to start by waking up at 5 two times a week. Even if you fail on one of the scheduled days, you will still be able to try again the next day and meet your goal for the week.
Record: Be sure to record your thoughts, feelings etx. etx. during this process. Not only will this help you to stay committed and keep your motivation going strong, but it will also help you to decide at the end of the trial period whether or not this is really a habit you want to have.
Reassess: At the end of the 28 day period, sit down and assess how the plan went. Did you feel the benefits you thought you would from the habit? Did it have the desired affect? Was it harder or easier than you thought to keep?
Based off of your assessment, you can now either set another 28 day plan, this time a bit more difficult, or you can abandon the habit all together.
Example: In the interview, Andrew and Martin used the example of waking up earlier to illustrate how this process would work. The following is a rough outline of that process.
First, you would make a plan, clearly writing out why it is that you want to wake up early and what this will do for your life. Decide on a low frequency “intro” period to this habit, say waking up at 5 a.m. two times each week, on Monday and Thursday for the next 4 weeks.
Now you take action, waking up at the prescribed times each week. You miss one or two days, and instead of failing the entire week, simply wake up early on a Tuesday or Friday, still meeting the quota of twice a week.
Each day when you wake up, you take 10 minutes to jot down how you feel about the habit process, and how you feel this new habit is serving you.
Then at the end of the 28 days, you review your notes and decide that you want to make this a permanent habit in your life. So now, you reassess and restart deciding to try another 28 days, this time, however, waking up at 5 a.m. 4 days a week.
You then repeat this process until you are waking up at the prescribed time 6-7 days a week.
By creating the habit in this way, you set yourself up for success and long term achievement as opposed to going balls to the wall and fizzling out after a week.
Mathew Park, passionate entrepreneur, professional natural bodybuilder, author, speaker, loving husband & adventurous learner with over 15 years of experience in the personal development and training industry.
Mathew is one of Canada’s youngest and most renowned health and fitness entrepreneurs with his two companies RE7 & INBF Canada and his dedication and service to the natural bodybuilding & fitness industry.
1. Discipline is Essential to Success
If you want to achieve success, you must develop ruthless discipline. Commit to excellence and follow through. If you say you are going to workout, wake up early, read, or work on your business, you do it no matter what.
If you can create strong self discipline in your life, you will see everything you set your mind to flourish. Do what is necessary no matter what, and you WILL see the results.
2. Positive Routines are Essential to being Your Best Self
One of the most essential pieces to the success puzzle is to create powerful routines that empower you and equip you for the tasks ahead. Things like waking up early, daily exercise, meditation and journaling will boost your physical, mental and spiritual growth and performance into a whole new level.
3. Be Very Intentional About Who You Surround Yourself With
The importance of your social circle is a point driven home by nearly every guest on the Knowledge for Men show, and with good reason. One of the fastest ways to accelerate your growth and success is to surround yourself with motivated and like minded people.
Who you spend your time with often determines who you will become, so it is imperative that you are intentional with whom you surround yourself. Seek out winners and high achievers and your results in all areas will flourish.
4. Learn to Manage Your State
Managing your emotional and physiological state is one of the greatest determiners of success before nearly every important event. If you are amped up, present, and excited for the upcoming event, it will show in your performance.
Likewise, if you are nervous and worried and do not properly manipulate your state your performance will suffer.
Some of the greatest state enhancers are simply to get out in nature, meditate and journal. This will help clear your mind and bring you into the present moment.
On March 24, 1965, Albert Podell embarked on a 581-day, 42,000-mile, adventure-packed expedition by 4×4 across 30 countries that set the record for the longest auto journey ever made around the world. During the next 50 years Podell visited every one of the rest of its 196 countries.
Albert Podell has a B.A. in government from Cornell, was a graduate fellow in international relations at the University of Chicago, holds a J.D. from NYU School of Law, and has had successful careers as a magazine editor, director of photography, advertising-agency creative director, and trial attorney. He has written 300 magazine articles and wrote the adventure classic, Who Needs A Road.
1. Life is Fleeting Live it Full
Life is precious and short. We all live like life will last forever without realizing its fleeting nature. Embrace the now and live life like you will never live it again.
2. People are Generally the Same
Many first worlders ignorantly assume that the rest of the world is vastly different from us. We assume that they are all extremists and crazies and that anywhere beyond the first world is the no mans land.
What we fail to realize is that humans are largely the same across all cultures. We all want to live long and prosperous lives. We all want to raise our children to the best of our abilities, we all want as much health, wealth, love and happiness as we can fill into our days.
When we open our mind to the similarities that cross all cultural boundaries, we are able to interact much more deeply and intimately with people who are seemingly dissimilar.
3. You Can Live on Less Than You Think
In America, the idea of living with less is a foreign concept. We assume that to survive we need to be making hundreds of dollars a day and filling our lives full of possessions and cheap thrills.
But in the end, we are left with crap we didn’t need and shallow, base level experiences. If we open our minds to the idea of embracing minimalism and living with less, then we open our lives to a whole new level of fulfillment.
When life becomes about seizing every moment enjoying every second over accumulating more stuff, we are able to live lives of true abundance and joy.
4. Money and Time are not an Impediment to Travel
If you are creative enough, adaptable enough, and tough enough. You can travel the world on little to no money fairly easily. From staying with locals to camping to hostels, there are a number of ways that you can travel without breaking the bank.
One of the best ways to get started is by looking into work exchanges such as WWOOF or Help Ex where you work in exchange for room and board.