Neil Patel is a Seattle, Washington-based entrepreneur, angel investor, and analytics expert. He is best known for his work in digital marketing, and as the cofounder of the analytics companies KISSmetrics, Crazy Egg, and Quick Sprout
“When things are looking good, always remember that someone else out there always has it better than you. And when things are going badly for you, remember someone has it worse”
1. Do Not Operate from Emotion
One of the biggest mistake that people, especially entrepreneurs, make is that they operate from emotion and not logic. Like the opening success quote, it is important that you always remember that someone out there has it better and is kicking your butt at business, but someone out there also always has it worse and the failures you are facing are not life changing.
Stay grounded as a man in your decision making. Always take some time and breathe whenever you feel overwhelmed and simply think through the situation logically. (Something Andrew and many guests have suggested for controlling your emotions are cold showers and meditation.)
2. When You Are Young You Have Nothing to Lose
So often, young people allow fear to stop them from taking action without realizing one simple fact…. you have nothing to lose.
When you are a young single guy, without a mortgage, car payments, or child support to pay, you are free. So start your business. The best thing that can happen is that you succeed and make millions, the likely outcome is that you will make some money but it won’t be your big break, the worst thing is that you learn.
Is learning really that bad?
3. Keep Making Mistakes and Keep Learning
No matter where you are in business, always be learning. Look at every “failure” as an opportunity instead of a mistake. Each time that something doesn’t work or turn out how you want it to, you have the choice to decide to analyze the opportunity and learn from it.
And remember, the more you learn, the more you earn.
4. Business is a Game; Play a Game You Enjoy
No matter what business you are in, it is all a game. A game that you should be playing to win, but a game no less. Be sure that you are playing a game that you enjoy.
If you are in a business that you don’t enjoy, you are setting yourself up for failure before you begin. Succeeding in life and business is hard, it’s significantly harder if you aren’t passionate about working ridiculous hours, staying up late, waking up early, and making sacrifices.
5. Focus on One Idea and Go All or Nothing
When you are first starting out in entrepreneurship, it’s very easy to get sucked into a million different projects and gigs without focusing on one to master.
Find something that you enjoy and freaking crush it! Go after it with everything you have got, get laser focused and devote everything you can to it. Then, and only then will you truly succeed.
Bob Schwenkler is the creator of Advanced Sexual Stamina for Men and host of Sex the Podcast. Bob and his amazing girlfriend Natalie help men and women, singles and couples, have the best sex of their lives and experience playful, deeply connected relationships. Click here to learn more about Bob and his work.
“Your only real choices are to open fully and receive their gifts or crucify them and be relieved of their force…But you must be willing to feel your heart’s terrors and wounds or else you will close and protect yourself, striking back at the source of openness you most yearn to become”~ David Deida
1. Open Up to Your Masculine for Better Sex
If you want to truly open a woman up and allow her to fully feel you and be fully present with you, you need to drop into your masculine. This means taking the charge and leading, being sexually confident and owning your desires.
Stop pussying out about the things you want in your sex life and start unashamedly going after them. Don’t feel shame about your sexuality and your desire for women. Own it, be honest with them about it, and project it out into the world. Not only will this free you, but it will free your woman to be fully present with you.
2. Sexual Performance Isn’t About Sexual Performance
Sexual performance issues are never actually about sexual performance. They are the symptom of a deeper issue at play in your life causing you to feel some form of sexual shame or anxiety.
Whether it is a sex negative upbringing or religious background, feelings of sexual unconfidence, or merely not being present and being completely in your head, sexual issues are rarely actually physical.
3. Get in Touch with Your Body
The best way to get better in bed is to get in touch with your body first before getting in touch with a woman’s body. Start practicing yoga and meditation, breathe into your balls, dance, run, laugh, get outside and run around. Do anything that takes you out of your chair and puts you in touch with your being, your body, and nature.
Doing this will not only result in better sex, but also a better quality of life.
Jolie Dawn is an author, speaker, and wild visionary. Through her own journey of spirituality and self-discovery, along with thousands of hours of training, Jolie has discovered her innate ability to set people free from the confines of limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging habits, so they can create a life and business that truly thrives.
Jolie has fearlessly built her own platform to share her message through her popular Inner Goddess Unleashed Summit and also her retreats, online programs, and one-on-one programs. She has attained smashing success in guiding women through her signature process to help them remember their limitless potential so they can start taking immediate action on their dreams.
“You win just by playing”
1. Location is Important
One of the most important factors in your success is your location, both physical and social.
If you are living in a small town that is filled with fast food “restaurants”, bars, and walmarts, it is going to be much more difficult to stay healthy and fit and find a like minded community than if you are living in at the beach with yoga studios and juice bars on every corners.
If you are living in a retirement community full of baby boomers, you will find it difficult to find young entrepreneurs to share ideas with and create incredible businesses with. However, if you are living in a large, vibrant city, full of startups and entrepreneurs, you will find success comes much more easily.
If you set yourself up to live in a location that is conducive to your goals and you surround yourself with loving and supportive people who will push you and force you to grow, nothing can stop you!
2. Play the Host
Whenever you are struggling to find like minded individuals, or to find groups that you feel you fit into and want to be a part of; play the host. Invite as many people as you can to something you have put together and executed, especially individuals you respect and admire.
Start taking the initiative and creating and leading events locally to get those people together, not only will you meet great new people, but those people will respect you more because they will see you as the leader and creator of a group that they regularly enjoy attending.
3. Embrace Your Purpose More than Your Relationships
Your purpose ALWAYS comes before your relationships.
You were put on this earth to do amazing things, to create world changing movements, to help take people’s lives in a radically different direction. Your relationships are just a small part of that, they are not the whole.
No matter how amazing you think a woman is, she does not come before your purpose, and if she is a woman of character who loves and respects you as a man, she will never want to.
4. Take Care of and Follow Your Body
Your body is the key to everything. Take care of it and respect it, and you will live a full and joyful life. Disrespect it and treat it like a trash heap instead of a temple (or playground depending on your adventure levels) and you will feel the pain of your choices.
Fill your body with good food, good exercise, and good sleep and stay in tune with it through practices like yoga and meditation, and it will serve you throughout your life.
Take care of your body, it’s the only one you’ve got.
Jeff Spadafora is the Director of Global Coaching Services and Product Development for The Halftime Institute. He spent 20 years as a leadership and executive development consultant for Fortune 1000 companies such as Ford Motor Company, Sears & Roebuck, Compuware, Domino’s Pizza, Visteon, Northern Trust Bank, Helene Curtis, and Sky Chefs.
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of your life, the full potential of your soul will never emerge.”~Henry Van Dyke
1. Success Will Not Fulfill You
In today’s materialistic and ego driven society, we are incepted from birth with the idea that buying more stuff and achieving higher status will lead to joy and fulfillment. But as anyone who has ever been to the top will tell you, this is simply not true.
While it is true that achieving goals, improving your material comfort, and reaching new heights of social prestige will increase your momentary happiness, this path does not offer any sort of contentment or joy in the long term. It results in a never ending quest to recreate the dopamine high that is released every time that you hit a new tax bracket.
2. Giving Yourself Away is the True Path to Gaining Everything
While living a life in pursuit of excess material wealth won’t lead to fulfillment, living a life in pursuit of generosity and impact, and legacy will.
If you truly wish to live a life of fulfillment and joy, not just momentary happiness and brief episodes of ecstasy, you must start by giving yourself to a cause bigger than yourself. You must find a passion and a calling that makes it difficult for you to stay in bed in the mornings because you are so excited about how you will get to change the world.
As cliche and trite as it may sound, finding a calling that is about a bigger picture than just yourself is the true path to success. Perhaps at this moment, you can’t find that calling or simply don’t know how you want to impact the world.
This is fine.
Start with simple things: Volunteer at a local habitat for humanity, give away 10-15% of your income to a cause you believe in, or even just call your grandparents from time to time. Find things to do that remind you that you are a small part of a whole, find things that let you serve and give without any expectations.
Give yourself away and you will gain everything.
3.You Need to Line Up your Core, Capacity, and Context
Similar to the four pillars, the Three C’s are the essentials of life that must be in alignment for you to be living a “10” life.
This is who you are, what your mission is, and what you stand for. To have a well defined “core” (in the sense of success and fulfillment, not your abs), you must define your virtues, your beliefs, and your character traits that will remain unwavering no matter how strenuous the external circumstances become. (also called NUTS or Non-negotiable, unalterable terms by Wayne Levine) And you must also discover and be actively pursuing what you believe to be your calling and purpose in life.
This is how you are showing up in each area of your life, it’s about maximizing your potential. Are you staying in the best shape you can physically? Are you being the best husband, father, friend, son, or brother that you can relationally? Are you connected with whatever your definition of God is? (Or if you are an atheist, have you done your research and do you have peace about the question of God?)
This is where you are working towards your calling and purpose. Do you need to move jobs, cities, or countries? Do you need to stay where you are and simply work change how you are showing up?
Only you can answer these questions, and it is imperative that you take the time to do so lest you work your whole life away on something that you realize (too late) was never in line with your calling in the first place.
4. Busyness and Comfort are Your Two Greatest Enemies
The two greatest enemies to success and fulfillment are not laziness or greed or ignorance, but busyness and comfort.
Busyness and comfort are malicious and sneak into your life slowly, without any obvious signs, but once they are in, they slowly and surely convince you that you are ok at your current level because there isn’t the pain necessary to elicit change.
When you are comfortable, it is difficult to find a real reason to change your lifestyle or pursue dreams, and when you are constantly busy, you never have the time to sit down and ask these questions in the first place.
Don’t allow busyness or comfort to rob you of your destiny. Take time to evaluate where you are in life with an open and unbiased mind. Go down the rabbit hole and it is likely that you will come out of the other side with a better understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the actions required to achieve it.
There is a billion dollar war on men that most of us don't even know is being fought.
Today, I'm going to peel back the curtain and reveal the truth.
I've been overwhelmed by all of the support I've received over the past few weeks and today, I wanted to take a minute to share where I'm at and what my plans are for the future.
Alex Dodd is also known as Ali Afshar and is an actor and producer, known for Three Kings (1999), Godzilla (1998) and The Siege (1998) and is also the founder/president of the world record holding auto racing team Easy Street Motorsports (ESX).
He is the creator of the exclusive ESX Super Vantage Aston Martin and ESX STI Subaru vehicles. Alex and his company ESX raced for Subaru of America for 7 years from 2001 through 2007 and won two NHRA National Championships in 2006 & 2007.
“You can sleep when you are dead”
1. Always be Hustling
You can sleep when you are dead, or as Newton put it “A body in motion tends to stay in motion.” Once you gain momentum, it is imperative that you keep hustling and keep grinding to ensure continued success.
While there is plenty of debate about the effects of sleep and success, if you want to be successful, you will lose sleep to achieve your goals. If you want to achieve great things, you have to be willing to lose sleep, put in the effort, and work ungodly hours for a certain amount of time. But it will be worth it.
2. Do What You Love
As cliche as it may sound, a life spent doing anything other than things you love, is a life of drudgery and pain. Why would you willingly subject yourself to daily work that you find dull and uninspiring just for an added 0 on your paycheck?
Do what you love and the money will follow (give that what you love is more than smoking weed and playing xbox). If you live your life doing things that light you up with a passion, you will never work a day in your life, and money and impact will be a natural byproduct.
Don’t waste your life with things you don’t love. Follow the advice of your middle school teacher and do what you love.
3. Use Your Passions Instead of Drugs and Alcohol
Shit happens. Welcome to the real world. When it does, many men are tempted to fall into drugs and alcohol to escape their problems instead of facing them head on. Instead of falling for this trap, dive headfirst into your passions and create a life centered around the things you love to help yourself heal and get through the hard times.
Bad things will happen, it’s up to you whether you allow them to destroy you and ruin your life with addiction, or whether you use it as a catalyst to create your best self.
4. Change the World with Kindness
The world is full of ass holes. It’s full of wannabes and windbags trying to seem important and putting others down in the process. Don’t be like them.
Life is short, love others, be kind and leave nothing on the table because you never know when it is your time. You will never regret a life of passion, love, and kindness. Period.
Jason Hanson is a former Central Intelligence Agency officer the author of The Covert Guide to Concealed Carry a frequent writer for Combat Handguns magazine and Personal and Home Defense magazine and an NRA Certified Instructor
He is also skilled in: Personal Protection, Risk Assessment, Firearms, Security Operations, Private Investigations, Counter Terrorism, Vulnerability Assessment, Emergency Management.
Jason was born and raised in Northern Virginia and spent 6 years with the CIA. He then moved to Utah with his wife and children to start a security business and now runs Spy Escape and Evasion, training individuals on how to better protect themselves and their families. Jason is also the author of the new book Spy Secrets that Can Save Your Life.
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you’d better be running”~Christopher McDougall
1. A Solid Morning Routine is Essential
If you want to achieve success in any area of your life, a powerful morning routine is essential! Jason shared with us in his interview how having a morning “Power Hour” has helped him instill successful habits and stay on track for years.
Some of the best things to include in a morning routine are: Exercise, nutrition (green smoothie, or a healthy breakfast), meditation, goal setting, journaling and reading.
2. In Real Life Situations Try to Deflate, Not Confront
In the real world, it’s better to prevent dangerous situations before they ever happen. Instead of trying to prepare to defend against an attacker, focus first on never getting attacked.
The basic rules of this, as shared by Jason are to
1. Always be aware of and in tune with your environment (get off of your cell phone)
2. Always keep your head up and make it known with your posture that you aren’t as easy target
3. Bonus: Get fit, the bigger you are and the more you look like you can handle yourself, the less likely you are to be targeted.
If you see someone following you or acting odd, don’t duck and run like hollywood, but turn and face them, make eye contact, and verbally make it clear that you are aware of what they are doing with an assertive “Can I help you?”
3. A Few Safety Pointers
Below are a few key safety pointers from Jason:
1. Whenever checking into a hotel, always ask for 2 keys. This makes it look like you have someone else joining you making you less of a target
2. Whenever possible always select a hotel room between the 3rd and 6th floor as these rooms are less likely to get robbed (since they are harder to escape from) but also leave you ample ability to leave in the event of an emergency.
3. When abroad, always ask the hotel about taxi services and be sure that you detail the route you want your driver to take prior to leaving with him so that you can make sure he is not taking you somewhere to rob or harm you, or simply so you know you aren’t being overcharged.
4. At home, make your home the last place people would want to rob. Put up security system warning signs on the walkway, in the back windows and in the front yard. Even if you don’t have a dog, leave a dog bowl outside to make it look like you do (really, who wants to tangle with a Mastiff), and if you can afford it, put cameras (or decoys) up. Basically take the rule of showing that you aren’t an easy target and apply it to your home.
4. Never Give Up
No matter how hard things get, never, ever, ever, ever give up. If you keep working you will see success. 10 years from now will come whether you give up or not, but your perseverance will determine whether it comes with you having achieved your goals or not.
This is what I learned.
Martin Grunburg is the designer/inventor of Habit Factor® as well as the author of the international bestselling book sharing the same name. He has presented at TEDx in the United Arab Emirates, and his work has been featured in the world’s most popular productivity blogs such as Lifehacker.com and Mashable.com.
Prior to developing and authoring The Habit Factor, Martin has been a partner in C3 Networx, formerly Home2Office Computing Solutions, Inc. As founder/COO, he’s been nominated twice for the Entrepreneur of the Year award and has twice led his team to win the Better Business Bureau Award for Marketplace Ethics.
“If you want to find the secret of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration”~Nikola Tesla
1. Pressure = Force/Area
This basic scientific formula can actually offer incredible insights into the world of success and productivity.
For examples Parkinson’s Principle, which states that the pressure and speed of completion of a task will increase as the timeline decreases can be derived from this formula. Pressure (the importance of a project and how much effort you will put into it) is equal to force (the difficulty of the task) divided by area (the amount of time you have to complete a task)
For example, if I tell you that you have to complete a perfectly written 3,000 word article in the next 3 months or else you will lose all of your financial assets ….how much pressure would you feel? Despite the large financial cost, you would likely feel decidedly unperturbed.
Now what if I said that you have 3 hours?
You would move heaven and earth to get that article done!
This is actually a very powerful principle that you can leverage in your life to achieve results at a more rapid pace. By creating more impending deadlines and higher stakes, you will be forced to become more creative, find time to pursue your goals, and actually get the work done because of this positive pressure.
2. Pressure is a Neutral Tool
There has been significant research done on the affects of pressure on the human mind and body over the past years, and what Martin has found is that, despite what popular science says, pressure is neither good nor bad, it is merely a tool.
If unmanaged and unchecked, pressure can build up and cause all sorts of issues, like many other stressors. However, if used strategically to increase the efficiency with which tasks are completed and the speed of implementation, pressure can be a fantastic tool for massive productivity and results.
So in the end, pressure, like so many other things, is neutral. It is neither good nor bad. It is simply how you use it.
3. Pressure Creates Peace of Mind
Exposing yourself to intentional pressure can help create confidence, and peace of mind during stressful situations. The scientific formula for equilibrium is the equal offset of pressure. Navy SEALs go through thousands of hours and years of training before they enter into combat so that when the actual bullets are flying, and bombs are going off, they are already used to the pressure of the environment and able to respond with calm, swift confidence.
By properly planning, preparing, and practicing for any given situation, you increase your chances of success dramatically once you are actually under the pressure of game day. It’s like the old saying “The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in war.”
Leon Logothetis is a global adventurer, motivational speaker & philanthropist. It wasn’t always that way. He used to be a broker in the city of London where he felt uninspired and chronically depressed. He gave it all up for a life on the road. This radical life change was inspired by the inspirational movie The Motorcycle Diaries.
Leon has visited more than 90 countries and traveled to every continent. He is the host of the TV series Amazing Adventures Of A Nobody, which is broadcast across the world by National Geographic International and, over the course of three seasons, sees Leon cross America, the United Kingdom and Europe on just 5 dollars, 5 pounds, and 5 euros a day, respectively.
Leon has documented his travels for numerous media outlets including Good Morning America, Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle,Outside, Good, Psychology Today, and The New York Times.
His book, Amazing Adventures of a Nobody, is in stores now. His new book The Kindness Diaries, published by Readers Digest, is available now and chronicles Leon’s circumnavigation of the globe on kindness.
“Never, never, never, never give up.”~Winston Churchill
1. Removing Money Allows You to Connect with Others
During his travels, Leon found that by removing money from the equation (i.e. relying on kindness of strangers and not residual income to make his travels a success) he was able to connect for fully and openly with people.
When you remove money from the equation, you no longer have a sense of superiority, and you no longer act as if you have nothing to gain from genuine connection. When you rely on other people’s kindness instead of your own wallet, every person you meet becomes a treasure chest just waiting to be opened.
2. It’s About Kindness Not Money
Life is not about income, it’s about impact and kindness. It doesn’t matter whether you die penniless or a billionaire, if you did not impact others and live a life of joy and kindness, it was all for naught.
While money can empower you to live a life of greater impact and enable you to extend greater kindness towards others, it is not the end game. It is not the end all be all. It’s a tool, impact and kindness are the products you are trying to build.
3. Live a Life of Passion and Adventure
Too often, we get caught up in the social norms. We care so much about what society says, what mom & dad say, what our friends say, that we never pause to ask what do we have to say about all of this? Live life on your terms, doing things that make you passionate, otherwise, you will live a life of pain, boredom, and just plain unimportance.
4. Commit to Yourself
In line with the point above. If you want to start living a life of purpose, you need to commit to take care of yourself first. This is not saying that you become a self-centered, arrogant jerk, but rather that you realize that if you aren’t living a life of purpose and passion, then you will not be able to help others do the same.
5. It’s Ok to be Different
One of the most important lessons to learn is that it is ok to be different. As Mark Twain said, “If you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Are you on the side of the majority right now? Are you going with the flow because it is what everyone else is doing and what they expect you to do? Or are you living life to the fullest, grabbing it by the balls and going out with joy and excitement every day?
Amish Shah is a conscious entrepreneur best known for developing innovative platforms, crafting impressive marketing campaigns, and creating rapid business/sales growth models built to scale. Amish is a visionary and a futurist with many of his ideas and concepts being larger than life.
In just 6 years from his original start with affiliate marketing (in 2003), Amish had run thousands of different advertising campaigns in more than 100 different markets. He tested campaigns over 50 different traffic sources and was able to serve up over 100 billion impressions, which resulted in over $50 million dollars in sales.
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours”~Henry David Thoreau
1. If You Want to be Successful Make Yourself Uncomfortable
Everyone wants to achieve success, but few people are willing to make themselves uncomfortable enough to actually do it. Few people are willing to “burn their boats.”
If you truly want to be successful, make success your only option. Move to a new city without any support living only on what your business makes, hand in your two weeks notice before you think you are ready, or in Amish’s case, buy a $400,000 home you can’t afford (not what we would recommend)
2. Affiliate Marketing is One of the Best Ways to Start Making Money Online
Amish made his first million only with affiliate marketing, and in this day and age, affiliate marketing remains one of the greatest ways to make money online for the young entrepreneur.
There is little to no overhead, you do not manage any stock or inventory, and you are not responsible for the product itself, you are just responsible for getting it in front of people. If done right, and with integrity, affiliate marketing can be your vehicle for financial abundance and freedom.
3. Massive Risks Can Reap Massive Rewards
Very rarely does someone achieve massive success without massive risk. If you want to make it in this world and economy, you are going to have to take risks, and sometimes the risks won’t be what you expect.
Everyone will risk failure, but you may also risk alienating friends and family because they don’t understand what you are doing, you may risk temporary security, you may risk success without the character to back it up. Whatever the case, realize that you will have to take massive risks for massive results.
4. Money Alone Does Not Determine Happiness
Money alone will not make you happy. Happiness comes from feeling like you are improving the world, taking care of your mind and body, cultivating great relationships and positively impacting others.
Amish learned this the hard way when, while making millions, he was depressed, severely sick, and suicidal. After focusing on taking care of his body and improving his health as well as creating a business he was passionate about, he became happy, healthy, and fulfilled in life.
5. Find Something You Are Passionate About
Life is too damn short to do uninspiring shit. Plain and simple, if you want to live an awesome life, you need to do things that you are passionate about on a daily basis. Never get so caught up in a paycheck that you waste your passions for dollars.
Geoffrey F. Miller is an American evolutionary psychologist, serving as an associate professor of psychology at the University of New Mexico and known for his expertise in sexual selection in human evolution, and for his views on the evolution through sexual selection of the human brain as sexual ornamentation.
“There is very little difference between one man and another, but what little there is is very important” ~William James
1. One of the Keys to Success with Women is to Put Yourself in Their Shoes
If you want to become successful with women, it is imperative that you start by putting yourself in the woman’s shoes. Ask yourself what it is that she is truly looking for in a man, what are her concerns, what are her fears?
Women are far more physically vulnerable than men are and as such, becoming a man that women can feel safe around should be a priority when you begin your journey into the dating world.
Women are also worried about their social and economic status. What will it do to her reputation if she dates or sleeps with you? What will her friends think? Will she be called a “slut” or told that “you can do better?”
It’s questions like this that help you to understand what women are looking for and how you can better provide it. If you want to be successful with women, start by getting into their head.
2. Understand Mating Markets
This is a seemingly simple concept, but one of vital importance. If you want to succeed at fishing, go where the fish are!
Plain and simple, the only way you will get good with women is if you go where there are an abundance of women. Moving to a large city, a big, liberal college, or moving overseas to countries with high populations of beautiful women (eg Argentina and Brazil) will increase your chances of success in mating drastically.
3. Looks Matter Less than You Think
What science has shown us is that women value looks significantly less than they do certain mental and emotional traits. (with the exception of outliers, eg extremely overweight or a male model). What this means is that, no matter what numbers came up for you in the ovarian lottery, if you are an average guy, your success with women will be determined more by the qualities that you display than your looks.
4. Women want a Man with Potential
Women love to be along for the ride, they love to find men who are ambitious and hardworking, and be there with him when he has nothing and once he gets it all. Potential is one of the sexiest things to a woman.
In fact studies have shown that women would rather be with a failed entrepreneur, who put his neck on the line and tried to succeed, than they would with a trust fund baby who was rich but never worked for it.
What this means for you is that you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to show women that you have potential to be the man they’ve always wanted.
Dr. Joe Serio is an international speaker, trainer, and author who holds a Ph.D. in Criminal Justice from Sam Houston State University (SHSU), with a specialization in Leadership and Organizational Behavior. His career is highlighted by unique experiences in the former Soviet Union investigating the Russian mafia, including a year spent working in the Organized Crime Control Department of the Soviet national police prior to the collapse of the USSR.
“Problems are not stop signs they’re guideline”~Dr. Robert Schuler
1. Learn to Say No More
Something that many people are fearful of is appearing selfish and unkind to others. This leads to many of us saying yes when we should be saying no.
One of the best things you can begin to do, both for your productivity and for your general sense of peace and well being is to start saying no more often. Whenever other people start to put demands on your time that are incongruent with your goals and lifestyle, stick to the old anti drug motto and just say no.
2. Suppress the Ego Expand the Heart
Many people are suffering from fear because they are solely focused on themselves. They are only pursuing big dreams, and trying to take risks for personal gain and increase.
However, when you start to shift your focus towards others, you are now able to face fears with greater ease. When you have a big enough “why” to face your fears that encompasses people and things that you love and want to positively impact, the fear will evaporate, replaced by a high level of resolve to do what you set out to do.
3. Stop Trying to Please Everyone
The quickest way to live a life of misery and heartache is to try and please everyone all the time. While this may seem a bit counterintuitive considering that the last point talks about focusing on others, once you dig a little deeper, there is no conflict.
There is a fine line between trying to please everyone and trying to impact the world for the better. One path will lead you to do things that you don’t enjoy to garner the approval of people you don’t like, and the other will lead you to help society and contribute to things you believe in and care about.
Who cares if your alcoholic co worker thinks your goals of entrepreneurship are pointless, who cares if your broke family members laugh when you say you’re going to start an online business…who cares?!
Live life on your terms and work on pleasing the people that really matter in your life, starting with yourself.
4. Get As Much Experience As Possible
The first step to success is to get as much experience as possible. Do the necessary research, learn what you need to, and then take some freaking action. Get as much experience as you possibly can, stop procrastinating and get out there.
You don’t need a PHD or some sort of certificate from someone else, just freaking choose yourself and get to work.
Micha Mikailian is a serial entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience and over 8 startups. He made his first million dollars in his early twenties and has continued to grow and expand his empire today.
He’s committed to creating and supporting businesses that live on the bleeding edge of our evolution and are contributing to a more sustainable, just, and abundant world for all of us.
He is currently the CEO and founder of Intently, a website browser extension that helps you stay focused on your goals by replacing all ads online with motivational and goal oriented pictures.
1. Learn to See Yourself as an Entrepreneur
When you begin identifying yourself as an entrepreneur, you start to make it a part of your identity and way of life. You no longer see yourself as an overworked employee but rather an entrepreneur who is building his side hustle into a business that will give him the time and freedom he and his family want.
When you identify as an entrepreneur, you no longer see yourself as a college student trying to figure life out, but a young businessman preparing to innovate and change the world and learning the skills necessary to do it.
How you see yourself will determine who you become. See yourself as an entrepreneur.
2. Entrepreneurship is a Tool
Many famous entrepreneurs claim that business is a game, and while business itself may be a game, entrepreneurship is a tool. It is a tool to create freedom and wealth and happiness in people’s lives. It is a tool to change the world for the better and inspire others to be the change they want to see.
3. Focus on Your Personal Development
“Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development because success is something you attract by the person you become”
In the podcast, Micha shared how, like many pro athletes, even though he had made a lot of money, his character and personal development did not match the income. This lead to a number of very poor life choices and multiple failures.
If you want to see and sustain success, you need to develop yourself as an individual. Learn to handle your emotions, learn to set and achieve goals, to have a vision bigger than yourself and interact socially.
Then and only then will you be successful.
4. Outsource the Unnecessary
Life is full of unnecessary crap. The more of it that you can outsource, the better and more productive your life will be.
Cooking, editing, scheduling, cleaning, anything that can be eliminated should as soon as you have the income. The less energy and brain power you expend on useless crap the more you can expend on creating your ideal lifestyle and having as much fun as possible.
1. Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
2. The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz
Scott Brills is a world traveler, international entrepreneur, and founder of Pajoma Safaris. He has spent the past half of his life traveling around the world going on innumerable adventures as a location independent entrepreneur.
1. Learning to Adapt is One of the Best Skills You Can Acquire
During his travels, Scott realized that learning to be adaptable is one of the greatest skills anyone can acquire. Like Darwin said “It is not the strongest, or the smartest, but the most adaptable that survive.”
If you want to survive the world of business, romance, health or anything else for that matter, learning to adapt is the best skill to cultivate. Learn to think on your feet and be willing to change your actions when your plan doesn’t work as expected.
2. Wealth is Not Always Determined by Monetary Possessions
Something that Scott noticed as he traveled was that, with the exception of extreme poverty and refugee situations, is that material possession does not equal happiness and inner wealth.
Many of the people he met in his travels living simple, minimalistic lives were just as happy and content, if not more so, than the average 1st world millionaire.
This is not to say that money and material possession is bad or that it does not contribute to happiness, but rather to say that it is but a small part of the whole when it comes to living a happy fulfilled life.
Great relationships and experiences will always improve your fulfillment more than a new rolex or an extra 0 at the end of your paycheck.
3. As Humans We Are All Generally The Same
With the exception of some moderate social and cultural differences. People are all the same. We all want better relationships, we more happiness, we want to feel like we are making a difference. We aren’t as different as we first appear, and once you understand this you are able to interact with people from any culture or lifestyle with ease.
4. Don’t Think Linearly
Often, people assume that life is a linear journey. We are born, go to school, go to college, get a job, retire, and then we die. What people don’t realize is that life isn’t linear. If you want to live a successful and fulfilling life, it will require that you think outiside the box and do things in an unconventional way.
Starting a business in college, getting your degree after taking 5 years to travel, deferring the 9-5 life until you pursue your dreams and your bucket list.
Live life in the way that will leave you the most fulfilled and happy at the end of the day. Not the way people tell you you have to.
Coach Michael Taylor is an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, author, and a radio show host who has dedicated his life to helping men reach their full potential.
Despite being born in the inner city and dropping out of highschool, Michael became a mid level manager at a multi-million dollar company at only 22. However, his success did not last, and everything he built fell apart resulting in divorce, bankruptcy and foreclosure.
Michael went on a 15 year personal development journey to rebuild who he was, and that journey has resulted in his company A New Conversations About Men
Many men, sadly, spend their whole lives in pursuit of material possessions in a search for happiness. They believe that the fancier watch, faster car, or bigger house will make them feel more fulfilled and happy, but after the initial high of the purchase wears off, they are left just as empty and alone as before.
Real men understand that true happiness comes from within, it comes from intimately connecting with others and having deep and meaningful relationships, it comes from doing work that you are passionate about, it comes from being generous towards others, but most of all, happiness simply comes by being at peace with who you are and knowing that you are enough no matter what the external circumstances.
If you want to be truly happy in your life, you must realize that stuff will not make you happy. It may give you a dopamine rush for a couple of days, but it will wear off. Your focus must be on becoming the grounded man, and internalizing the fact that you are enough. Then and only then will you be truly happy with life.
While many men believe that they know what it means to be a man, the majority of what is purported to be “masculine” in society is anything but. The following are the 5 most common illusions about manhood and what it means to be a real man
Illusion 1: You Must Be Disconnected
Society would have you believe that to be a true man, you must be a robot. You cannot express emotions, it’s not ok to cry, showing that you have feelings is a sign of weakness and should be avoided at any cost.
This is garbage. A man who is truly comfortable in his own skin, a man who is truly an emotionally mature man, realizes that showing his feelings is actually a sign of strength, because when you show your feelings you become vulnerable and you open yourself to the world saying “This is who I am and I won’t change it to conform to your standards”
That is true masculinity.
Illusion 2: Men Must Use Sexual Conquests to Validate their Masculinity
As men, we are told that if we want to be truly masculine, we have to bed dozens of women with complete ease, carelessness, and a borderline apathetic attitude. The truth is far different.
All religious dogma aside, a real man realizes that sex is meant for connection and is in no way indicative of his worth as a man. Sex is wonderful, and when used to increase the intimacy of a relationship, becomes an incredible experience. However, if a man uses sex as a way to validate himself to the world, he is on a one way track to broken relationships and misery.
Illusion 3: To Be a Man You Must Have Money and Material Wealth
While there is nothing wrong with material wealth, making money your sole focus in life, is the mark of an immature man, not a masculine man.
Ambition is wonderful, wanting to get to the next level is wonderful, building a lifestyle of comfort and luxury is wonderful, using materialism as a drug to sedate yourself from the struggles you are facing is not.
Being a man does not have anything to do with making a lot of money. While it’s true that it takes a certain breed of man to make millions, it takes an even higher breed of man to make millions while living his purpose, having deep connected relationships, and being totally in love with who he is and where he is going.
Illusion 4: To be a Man You Have to Acquire Title and Fame
Title and fame are irrelevant to masculinity. The simple fact is that there are more men who live and work behind the scenes who show true masculinity then there are truly “manly” movie and music stars.
Being a man is about who you are, not who knows about you.
Illusion 5: To be a Man You Have to Compete with Other Men
Competition is a great motivator and can be a force multiplier in may men’s lives. But it is not the mark of a man. True men look for ways that they can collaborate and work together, not compete.
While many men may feel that they are alone on whatever path the are walking, the truth is, there are hundreds of men out there going through the same things you are facing. Don’t be afraid to seek help form other men, remember “Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens another man.”
Stay sharp, swallow your pride and build a community where you can work through the struggles and triumphs you will face together.
Vast physical pleasure, deep love, and even union with divine source can be experienced through sex. Sexual energy is the source of all life in this world. Christopher Sunyata teaches people how to embrace their sexual power and artfully conduct it through their body and intimate relationships, integrating this power into their whole life.
Drawing upon decades of practice and study under masters of sexual yoga, Taoist exercises, and Buddhist meditation, he teaches ancient body-centered practices without dogma or esoteric language that lead people to discover the secret wisdom already present within their own body. By learning to trust this wisdom within their body, people can reclaim passion and life energy that is their birthright, and create intimate relationships that deepen in love and chemistry over the years.
Prior to teaching he was a successful international project manager responsible for over a billion dollars in revenue, a medical device engineer with seven patents, and a ceramic artist. He has raised four children, two of his own, including one who has significant disabilities. He lives in Boulder, Colorado with his beloved wife Karlene.
1. You Need to Take Time to Acknowledge Your Present Mind and Body
Every man needs to take time out of his day to simply acknowledge how he feels in the present moment, but more than merely acknowledging, he needs to ask what his body is telling him.
Your mind and body are telling you a story, and when you are fully present and connected to your body you may realize that there are things that are happening in your life; stressors, lack of exercise, tension, etc. that need to be dealt with for you to live life fully.
2.You Will Die Someday
One of the most uncomfortable truths of life is our own mortality. No matter who you are, what you do, how much money you make, how many women you sleep with, or how big of an impact you make, you will still die. This is an inescapable truth, and although it is unpleasant can also be incredibly freeing.
People tend to ruminate on shit that really doesn’t matter, they worry about the car they drive, what clothes they are going to wear, and a number of other things that will make no difference in the long run.
If you want to be living a life of joy and freedom, learn to accept your death and live in accordance with the reality of your own fate.
Love openly and fully, connect with people, get away from your damn phone and just be present. take care of your body, never hold back anything, go on adventures. We are all dead men walking, better make the most of it.
3. Learn to Accept and Enjoy Your Various Emotional States
Our life is like a river, flowing between the banks of pleasure and pain. The only time we get into trouble is when we try to get out of the river and onto the bank, either of pleasure or pain, and we try to stay there. But as long as we realize that our life is a river and pleasure and pain are the boundaries, we’re going to do fine. We’re right in the middle between the two of them. We can’t really catch hold on either side. A lot of things go by.” ~Reggie Ray
4. Perfection is About Constant Improvement
So many people are overly critical of themselves because they are not perfect. They fuss over every little mishap and screwed up event in their life without realizing that perfection is an unattainable goal, a carrot on a string.
True perfection is constantly improving who you are. It’s about being better than the man you were yesterday, learning new things, improving your character, your mind, your body, and your spirit.
Don’t worry about being better than everyone else or never messing up, simply work to be better day by day and you will experience joy and fulfillment.
Angel Donovan is the head of Dating Skills Review and the host of the Dating Sex Relationships podcast. He interviews different men and women with specialist experience and knowledge in dating, sex and relationships every week.
1. You Need to Have Self Control
If you want to be successful, with women and in life, you must develop self-control. The self control to do the things you don’t want to do and to refrain from the things that you know will hinder your progress.
In dating this is exceptionally important. If you do not have self control, you will get bogged down in a sea of information, never taking action, never getting out there and never making progress.
You will allow yourself to become overloaded on information while never actually applying it.
Have some self control, do what you know you need to do and cut out the things you know you shouldn’t do
2. Biology Plays a Big Part in Your Dating Life
Something most men do not realize is that biology plays a far larger role in their dating lives than you would expect. This means that men who suffer from low testosterone especially, will likely have a lower success rate with women.
What this means for you is that lifestyle is key. Start lifting heavy weights, get 8 hours of sleep, cut out the porn, eat a diet of whole foods. Not only will this be good for your dating life because of the biological boost you will receive. It will be great for the overall quality of your life in general.
3. Avoid Your Comfort Zone and Attack Fear
Your comfort zone is where dreams go to die. When you get comfortable you get complacent and you no longer take risks. One of the best things you can do to create the life of your dreams is to do something that scares you shitless every day. Find a way to face a fear, get uncomfortable and do things you wouldn’t normally do on a regular basis.
This can be anything from cold showers to new foods to intentionally getting lost to tackling to fear of heights. Just do things that scare you or make you uneasy daily and you will set yourself up to live a life of purpose and power.
Olaniyi “Nee” Sobomehin is a former American football fullback. He played college football at Portland State. He was signed by the New Orleans Saints as an undrafted free agent in 2008.
After being cut from the NFL due to an injury, Olaniyi decided to begin coaching and from there, in adittion to being a full time fire fighter, he has built a coaching company imnotyou.com to help young athletes be successful at an elite level.
1. If Your Mindset isn’t Right Your Life Won’t be Right
Everything in your life, good or bad, stems from your mindset and your internal beliefs. If your mindset is shit, your life will be shit, it’s that simple.
You must develop the habit of improving the quality of your thinking daily. Stop tolerating weak and amateur level behavior and beliefs from yourself, challenge all of your limiting beliefs that say “I can’t do this” or “I’m not worthy.”
Quit complaining and making excuses and just get to work, improve your mindset and build the life of your dreams.
2. Begin Your Morning in the Right State
One of the habits nearly every successful person follows is a powerful morning routine. How you start your days plays a huge role in the outcome of your days, and your days control the outcome of your life, so if you want to take control of your life, take control of your mornings.
Some habits you can begin instilling into your morning routine for rapid results are:
1. Affirmations: Tell yourself that you are the best over and over, and over
2. Meditation: Quiet your mind and get present and focused for the day ahead
3. Read: There is almost nothing as important as educating yourself, read, read, read.
4. Exercise: Get the endorphins going and the blood flowing
3. Eliminate Things That Are Distracting You From Your Goals
We live in a digital age where big companies capitalize on creating products that distract us from living our lives. If you want to be truly successful, you must begin to ruthlessly eliminate things that distract you from achieving your goals.
Do you really need to spend hours on facebook each day for “Business,” is the next episode of Breaking Bad really more important than your dreams and aspirations?
Start eliminating distractions so that you can fill your life with real experiences and real achievement and impact.
4. Read as Much as You Can
One of the cornerstone habit of every successful individual is massive self education. The most important investment you can make is in yourself, and reading is one of the easiest and least expensive ways to do that.
Begin incorporating an hour of reading or listening to audiobooks into your life every day. Fill your head with the thoughts and life lessons of the greatest people who have ever lived and watch the quality of your life transform.
5. To Get Good Results You Need Good Emotions
Your emotions are either helping or hurting you, there is no in between. If you want to see exceptional results in your life you need to have an exceptional quality of emotions.
Learn to control how you feel in each moment. Understand the affect that sleep, exercise, posture, diet, and even your clothing has on how you feel in each moment and begin to build a lifestyle conducive to positive emotions.
6. Stop Being a Bitch aka Own Your Situation
Whenever you find yourself allowing circumstances and negative emotions to rule your life, or whenever you begin playing the blame game, stop being a little bitch and own your situation.
You are where you are because of the actions you have (or haven’t) taken. You are responsible for your life, no one else. When you take 100% responsibility for your life, there is no one left to blame, and when there is no one left to blame you can begin living the life that you were born to live.
Cole is an author, investor, award winning speaker and entrepreneur. He is passionate about truly living life, creating massive financial success for himself and others, and most importantly, giving back. Cole has taught tens of thousands of people to be more than just alive, but to become the best versions of themselves, create massive profits, and then impact others by living a life of significance.
Having barely escaped death 2 times in 2 separate accidents, Cole has a true appreciation for life and lives it to the fullest. He loves boating, is a water sport enthusiast, adrenaline junkie, drives fast cars, is a husband, father, and philanthropist. Cole’s story of losing everything, even temporarily his ability to walk, to now having monumental success is truly inspirational.
1. The World Teaches Life Wrong
Society, the media, friends and even family have taught you the wrong way to go about doing life.
We are all taught from a young age that if we just go to college, get good grades and a good degree, then find a safe secure job and work our asses off for 20 years, then we will be ok. We will be successful.
We’re taught that success is about keeping up with the Joneses, having a bigger house, a faster car, a bigger credit card max, or sending your kids to a more prestigious private school.
But what we aren’t taught is that success is really about doing things that you love. Success is about finding what you are passionate about and good at, finding your God given gifts and then applying those to live a life of impact.
Success is about having fulfilling relationships, meaningful work, joyful experiences, and leaving a legacy. And if big houses and fast cars are a part of that for you, than more power to you. Just realize that there is more to life than society’s definition of success, and keeping up with the joneses and working that “secure” job until you retire is a one stop ticket to a life of regret.
2. Focus on Creation
If you want to succeed in life and business, then start focusing on creation. Spend more time focusing on how you can create better content, create more value in the market place, and create better resources for people and spend less time worrying how you can “get” more.
Business is about creation, it’s about adding value and building something that your audience wants and needs.
3. Eliminate Distractions that Prevent You From Living Life
Facebook, Twitter, Netflix, Porn. All of these, when taken to extremes are nothing more than distractions that will prevent you from living the life of your dreams.
If you want to be successful and live life on your terms, you must begin to eliminate distractions and toxic activities/individuals that are poisoning your life. If you constantly find yourself wasting hours on Facebook, block it. If you are always watching Netflix, cancel your subscription for a while.
(Do realize that after a long day of working on important things and getting crap done, you have earned the right to crash with some Game of Thrones of The Walking Dead, it’s when it prevents you from achieving desired results that it becomes an issue)
4. Surround Yourself With Top People in Your Industry
Success leaves clues, it’s not an accident or an art, it’s a science.
If you want to be as successful as you can, you must surround yourself with other individuals in your industry who are achieving at a high level. Figure out what they are doing and copy it. As Picasso said “Good artists copy, great artists steal.”
You must realize that success is not a solo venture, you need mentors and accountability in your life and by surrounding yourself with people achieving on a higher level you will basically shortcut your way to success by avoiding pitfalls that they made and finding the things that worked and doing them that much quicker.
Jimmy Tomczak lives a mission to design, inspire, and connect. Jimmy founded Tombolo, a social enterprise that partners with designers to create innovations with impact. Made in the USA, Tombolo’s eco-beach gear encourages people to get outside and live.
His work’s been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Entrepreneur Magazine, CNN, Mashable, and more. Jimmy also consults with companies on brand strategy, business development, and the creative process. A University of Michigan graduate, StartingBloc Fellow, Crain’s 20 in their 20s honoree, and lover of all things adventure – one of Jimmy’s favorite things is a good bonfire, preferably by the beach with friends and fun.
1. Be Willing to Let Go
Our lives are so full of clutter and unnecessary baggage that often times, it is by decreasing the things, commitments and relationships that we are able to increase our happiness and fulfillment in life.
So often we get attached to unhealthy ways of living, even going as far as to wear it as a badge of honor. The wall street CFP working 80+ hours a week, barely able to keep himself awake without stimulants, the young entrepreneur running multiple companies and allowing his relationships to fall into the ground, and even the college student trying to balance too many different commitments, must learn to let go if they want to be happy.
Learn to live with less, learn to say no more, be willing to say yes more. Live your life and don’t let it be dictated by the things and responsibilities you have.
2. True Entrepreneurship is Seeing the Need in the Market
While nearly anyone can become skilled enough to own and operate a business, it takes a special talent and gift to be a true entrepreneur, someone who sees a need in the market and acts on that need.
The entrepreneur is not just a business owner and a business owner is not necessarily an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurship requires innovation, hustle, and a high tolerance for risk taking. Entrepreneurship requires you to find a need in the market and fill it.
3. Get Outside and Live
Too many of us spend our days, weeks and lives in a tiny little bubble filled with nothing but social media, Netflix, work, and bar hopping Friday night. To quote William Wallace “All men die, not all men truly live.”
If you want to live a happy, fulfilled life, get out there and freaking live! Go on a hike, take an adventure, get lost, talk to a stranger, life is too damn short to spend in fear and mediocrity…get out there and live!
5. You Don’t Need a Board Meeting You Need to Connect
One of the biggest mistakes in business today is that there is no connection between people. They spend millions on retreats and meetings when they should be investing their time in getting to know, love, and connect with their employees.
Life is all about relationships, and if you want to live a great life, you will learn how to become a master at connecting with others and building great relationships.
Honored by several professional associations, Dr. Barton Goldsmith is a multi-award winning psychotherapist, a syndicated columnist and radio host, as well as a recognized keynote speaker. He has appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends, CBS News, NBC News, Beauty and The Geek, The Ricki Lake Show and The Mancow Muller Show.
1. Get Really Good at Asking Questions
One of the keys to being good at relationships is being good at asking questions. People love to talk about themselves and when they find someone who is good at asking them about their life and appears genuinely interested, you become the most valuable person in the world.
The key here is that you are genuinely interested. If you are just asking questions to make conversation, it will show. Treat every person you meet like a great mystery you are trying to solve and discover one clue at a time.
2. Run Through the Best, Worst and Likely Case Scenarios in Your Head
Whenever you get paralyzed by fear, run through the best case, worst case, and likely case scenario in your head.
If you are an exceptionally shy guy at a bar, and you want to go talk to that beautiful girl over in the corner, ask yourself; what the best, worst, and most likely thing to happen.
The best case is probably that she falls head over heels for you, you get her number, set up a date..maybe even sneak a makeout session in. The worst case is that she tells you to piss off, maybe she spills a drink and makes a scene, nothing you won’t recover from and likely a great story to share with your buddies later that week.
The likely case, however, is that you go over, have a pleasant conversation, get her number and part ways.
When you dissect a situation in this way, you make it seem much more doable and less frightening. The thing is, the best case is great, the worst case isn’t that bad, and the likely case makes the uncomfortable action worth it.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Learn and Use Stupid Jokes
One of the best social tactics for arguments, disagreements, and awkward pauses is to become great at comedy. Watch stand up comedy, start reading satire, just expose yourself to new content that you can use later on, you will be glad that you did.
4. Get a Vision for Your Life
If you don’t know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else entirely. It is essential to your success in life and relationships that you have a vision for your life, that you know what you want as an end game and start moving towards it.
Maybe you don’t know exactly what career path you want, where you want to live or who (if) you want to marry, but I am assuming that you want to have as much health as possible, as much wealth and freedom as possible and as much love as possible?
Start moving towards those things and don’t stop.
5. Family is Everything
At the end of the day, relationships are all that really matter. Don’t give up your family and the people who love you for money or fame. Always prioritize being a good husband, son, and father above everything else.
Jim Wolfe shows men how to create an amazing reality for themselves that they can then share with others.
He is obsessed with reading, writing, learning, travel, and personal growth. He draws on a tremendous variety of sources to create effective educational experiences.
He tends to be science and evidence-minded, but he’s open to anything that actually works and looks for personal growth lessons in literally everything he does.
Jim doesn’t want to motivate you for a few hours or days. He wants your internal life followed closely by your external life to be permanently better after you connect with him.
1. You Need to Develop a Foundational Sense of Self Worth
If you want to achieve true internal bliss and a sense of joy that is not contingent upon your current circumstances, it is essential that you develop an internal sense of self worth that is not dependent on any achievement, external goal, or societal construct.
If you truly want to live a life that is happy and fulfilled, you must see yourself as worthy because you are you, not because of any grade, tax bracket, bench press record or relationship. It is essential to your inner well being that you derive your sense of self worth from being and not doing.
2. Success is Relative to the Individual
In a society focused on fast cars, fancy watches, big houses, and beautiful women, it is easy to get caught up in the societal definition of success instead of your own definition of success.
Realize that success is relative to the individual, there is no one size fits all and no one else can determine what success means for you.
For some people, success really is the Ferrari, country club house and trophy wife, for others it’s traveling the world and making an impact and for others it’s simply being a good father and husband and enjoying the work that you do.
Discover what success means to you and go after it with all of your heart, ignore anyone who tells you that you have to pursue a certain path to become successful and forge your own path.
3. You Can Improve Your Happiness Through Simple Practices
Science has proven that happiness is determined by a small handful of practices and mindsets, not your external circumstances or challenges. By practicing gratitude daily, focusing on things within your control, unplugging and getting present and pursuing your dreams and goals, you will increase your happiness exponentially.
4. Having a Support Group Will Help You Overcome Your Fears
One of the best ways to overcome your fears is to have a group of individuals who are around you supporting you who are willing to challenge you and push you into the things that scare you.
By surrounding yourself with individuals who are unwilling to accept low class behavior and b.s. excuses, you will put yourself in a position where you are forced to succeed because your circle of influence will leave you no other option.
If you want to become world class and live an incredible life, you will have to do things that scare you. And the easiest way to do things that scare you is to find other people who are doing and have done those same things who will hold your feet to the fire and keep you accountable.
5. Regret is Worse than Failure
We are all going to die one day, and there is nothing in this world worse than living a life so that when you come to the end, you wish you had done things differently. You wish you had been a better man, pursued your dreams, stayed with your family, or followed your passions.
Regret is worse than failure. Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid to never try and regret your inaction.
Zan Perrion is internationally recognized as one of the most original and insightful voices on relationships and seduction in the world today. A regular media commentator, he has been widely featured in the international press.
Zan is the founder of the Ars Amorata philosophy–a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure. He is also a co-founder of the Amorati network of men and author of The Alabaster Girl
1. The Greatest Seduction is Authenticity
Today, there are a plethora of dating coaches and pickup “gurus” claiming that they have the secret sauce to seduction, the one line that will immediately drop panties and guarantee quick effortless sex.
However, what these so-called gurus do not realize, and where they are doing most men a disservice, is that seduction is all about authenticity. It’s about being who you are, expressing your desire unashamedly and fearlessly. It’s about being willing to open up and share the parts of you that you don’t think women will like.
If you want to be a great seducer and lover, you first have to be authentic, to be the grounded masculine man who knows who he is and what he wants in life and is openly living and expressing that on a daily basis.
Forget all of the cloak and dagger techniques and one-liners, just be real, be you, and be authentic. If a woman can’t appreciate that then she wouldn’t have been a good fit in your life anyways and you save yourself wasted effort on a relationship that would have been built upon a facade.
2. A Great Lover Appreciates the Beauty of All Women
Something many men fail to do is to appreciate the beauty in all women. Sure they appreciate the tan, fit, busty blonde, but they forget to see the beauty in every woman they come into contact with.
Any time you are talking to a girl, whether you are sexually interested or not, try to find something beautiful about her and express it. Maybe it is her smile, her body, her eyes or dress, or maybe it’s the way she laughs, her passion, her kindness, her gentle spirit.
There is beauty in everyone if we will just look, and the world would be a far better place if more people were able to see and acknowledge the beauty within every person with whom they interact.
3. A Boy Looks for What He Can Get a Man Looks for What He Can Share
The true difference between, a boy and a man is simply the focus they have.
A boy looks for what he can get; sex, money, prestige, status, fulfillment etc etc. a man, however, looks for what he can give. He comes into every interaction looking for ways to lift others up and to share himself, to make others feel beautiful and loved.
A man is content in himself and doesn’t need the validation of others. He is already full, and as a result he can pour out into others lives without holding back.
4. There is Great Beauty in Women if You Continue
Many guys have been screwed over by women. We have opened ourselves up and put ourselves on the line only to be burned and hurt.
After this, we became jaded and angry, stereotyping all women as mean and deceitful, failing to realize that like all other generalizations, one isolated incident does not account for a whole populations actions.
If you want to be successful with women and in life in general, you must realize that there is great beauty if you will just continue. Yes, there are women who are simply mean and hurtful, but the vast majority are beautiful creatures, incredible treasure chests of beauty just waiting for the right guy who can come along and unlock them.
So keep going, keep being authentic and keep searching for the beauty in all women and you will find it. Like the bible says (and this is applicable regardless of you religious beliefs or lack thereof) “Seek and you shall find, ask and it will be given, knock and the door will be opened. ”
Keep seeking, asking and knocking and you will find more satisfaction and deep intimacy than you ever thought possible.
5. It’s Not About the Move You Make Just That You Make a Move
Just make a move. Stop worrying about doing the right thing and just do something.
So many guys never have success in any area of their life because they are afraid of taking imperfect action, but what they fail to realize is that no action is perfect and the only way to be successful is to continually experiment, fail, learn, and experiment again.
Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid not to try.