Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby holds a PhD in counseling psychology and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is also a board-certified life coach based in Colorado.
Dr. Bobby has appeared numerous times on news programs around the country (FOX 5 New York, CBS News Denver, FOX 35 Orlando) as a relationship expert, and has been featured on Time.com and in the New York Post, Natural Health magazine, and New York Magazine. She is one of nine national dating coaches trained at the headquarters of Match.com and is a featured expert with EXaholics.com, a 12-step breakup recovery platform.
“Act from your values instead of your feelings”
1. Internalizing Your Problems will not Solve Them
So often as men, after something that is emotional and difficult, we decide to internalize our emotions due to the societal conditioning (e.g. just be a man and get over it). However, this path rarely if ever is the solution.
Men were made for companionship and finding a friend or family member who can help them cope with the pain and be there to hold the space whenever they are struggling is absolutely essential.
If you are not already, find a mentor or a men’s group where you can be yourself and talk about your issues without judgement. Breakups suck, they suck worse alone.
2. Stressful Relationships Create More Intrigue
One of the more interesting things about relationships is that relationships which have an element of “stress” or uncertainty and mystery tend to be more intense and more emotional, regardless of how much face time you got with the person.
As your emotions are triggered with all of the excitement and confusion around your partner and their upcoming actions, you begin to become emotionally invested. This is why relationships that may have been short lived can still be emotionally devastating when they finish.
Realize that stressful relationships are a double edged sword. While they can elicit a great response from women and create a number of amazing adventures together, they can also do a lot of emotional damage if not handled properly.
3. You Have to Realize that Ex-aholism is a Genuine Problem
Because of how our society views break ups and relationships, it is often easy to fall into the trap of believing that ex-aholism is not a real problem, even when you find yourself up until the early hours of the morning Facebook stalking your ex girlfriend.
Like any addiction, the first step to recovery is admitting that your ex is a problem and is still plaguing your emotional life. Once you do this, you are operating from a place of power where you can move forward in your recovery.
4. This too Shall Pass
Something you must realize as you go through all the phases of recovery is that this too shall pass. Your biochemistry is messed up from the last relationship and it’s a natural part of human life. Realize this and accept that there will be pain for a while but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
You will be able to move on and have the relationships you’ve been wanting for so long. You will create the life you have been dreaming of and you will no longer struggle with depression over your ex.
This too shall pass, just hold on and make it through.
Ellen Nyland, author of Life is Great Even when it Sucks, has faced many challenges in life and overcome them with insight, humor and intelligence. She successfully negotiated living and balancing the personal and business relationship demands faced by living and working on the same farm with four generations in close proximity.
Ellen has been an unofficial life coach and source of counsel for a long time, but it was after her move from the Netherlands to Canada in 1998 that she became a certified professional co-active coach in 2008. Ellen saw and helped many people and families deal with the stresses put on personal and family relationships.
Ellen’s biggest passion in life is to empower others and help them discover their own magnificence. Ellen uses her own life story and the examples of others to show that the system she’s discovered through experience and study can help others move positively past their barriers to a more fully lived
“When you don’t love and respect yourself then it is impossible to love and respect others”
“If you feel stuck, always do something”
1. Be the Lead Actor of Your Own Life
Often times it is easy to allow others to take the lead role in your life by allowing the standards and beliefs of family, friends and society to dictate your actions instead of following your own beliefs, dreams, and goals.
If you wish to live a life of success, you must become the lead actor in your life. You are the only constant and therefor you must take total responsibility for everything in your life. While you can still listen to the advice of others and take the consequences of your actions into account before acting, remember that you are the one who is ultimately responsible, not your parents, your friends, or your society.
2. Attitude is Everything
Life can suck. It can suck and we can’t control it. Children get sick, businesses fail, friends die, bad things happen. No one who has ever been born or will ever be born can face a life completely void of pain, but we can all face the pain a little bit better than we are now.
While you can’t change the inevitability of suffering, you can change your attitude towards it. If you face adversity by asking how it will make you stronger and better equip you to live out the purpose God has put on your life, then you will become infinitely more powerful than you ever imagined and the pain that you face will have purpose.
3. In Relationships you Must Grow in the Same Direction
As men, it is often easy to get sucked into relationships based purely upon physical attraction without much thought about the congruency of our partner’s mission and purpose. Whenever you are considering getting into a serious relationship, you need to examine your partner’s path and ensure that you are both growing in the same direction.
4. Build Your Toolbox
One of the most important things you can do for yourself and your future is to build your emotional ‘tollbox’ or your character. Focus on building yourself into the person that you need to become to achieve your goals. Build your integrity, your honor, your honesty, your kindness, your empathy, your compassion, your drive.
Build yourself up until success is inevitable. Because as Jim Rohn says, your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development.
Cade Courtley was born in Columbus, Ohio and raised in Boulder, Colorado where he spent much of his early life in the outdoors. He graduated from the University of San Diego with a degree in Business Administration and was commissioned (ROTC) into the United States Navy as an Ensign.
A standout from the beginning of his military career as a Naval Officer, Courtley was the Class Leader in his BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/ SEAL) training. After 19 months, two Hell Weeks, broken left leg (twice), a broken right leg, and a fractured skull, LT Courtley graduated (CLASS 202) and became a Navy SEAL. He was then chosen to attend the elite SEAL Sniper school, privilege only given to a select few.
His strong background in military Special Operations made him the obvious choice to Host and Produce the Spike TV/Discovery International original series “Surviving Disaster” (2010) that to date has aired in over 150 countries. Author can now be added to Courtley’s list of accomplishments when the folks at Simon & Schuster decided to publish SEAL Survival Guide “A Navy SEAL’s Secrets to Surviving Any Disaster.” (2012) As well as Host of the original TV series “America Unplugged” (2014) Cade is also the founder of Victory Coffee.
“If it was easy everyone could do it”
“You have to get your ass kicked every once in awhile”
1. You Need to Constantly be Challenged
One of the reasons that Navy SEALs are the best of the best is because they are always being challenged and forced to grow. Obvious from their motto “The only easy day was yesterday” Seals believe that to be the best, you have to push yourself beyond your perceived limits, and they do this every single day of training.
Whether or not you want to be a SEAL, the lesson remains the same. Men need challenge, they need adventure, they need to do something other than sit in a damn cubicle.
Start challenging yourself today. Get outside, exercise, take a cold shower, give up a bad habit, learn a martial art; do whatever you need to do to get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself to new limits.
2. You have to Find a Strong Why
At BUD/s there is an attrition rate of nearly 80%, meaning that for every 10 recruits who show up on day one of training, 2 will graduate. Although there doesn’t appear to be much rhyme or reason as to who makes it and who doesn’t physically, the one thing that all successful SEALs have in common is a strong why.
You have to have a strong enough reason why you are doing what you are doing to get you through the inevitable shitty times. Whether you are in entrepreneurship, fitness, family or war, you have to have a reason for what you are doing and it has to be strong.
3. Train in Peace so You Don’t Bleed in War
One of the core principles of SEAL training is to sweat hard in peace, so you bleed less in war. In layman’s terms, this means that you have to put in the work before the shit hits the fan.
You must develop yourself into a grounded, self reliant man before you meet the woman of your dreams, you must save up and be financially intelligent before recession hits, you must work hard at your fitness before some sort of physical disaster arises.
Prepare now so that you have peace of mind later.
4. Find Your Passion and Follow It
Life is freaking short. Too damn short to waste in a cubicle doing something that is uninspiring and boring. Find your passion and follow it, because God only knows when your last day is.
You might not have another tomorrow and the worst thing in the world would be to get to the other side and think to yourself “Damn I really blew it, did I even matter?”
Do yourself a favor. Follow your passion and make your life count.
Ex-Googler Filip Syta left the tech world to write books and his debut literary novel tells you why — in a satirical, true and unsavory tale, revealing the savagery beneath the shiny veneer of Silicon Valley.
In 2011, Syta graduated with a master’s degree in entrepreneurship from Lund University, Lund, Sweden. He aspires to make readers identify the truly important things in life.
“Find what you love and let it kill you”~Charles Bukowski
1. Never Allow Life to Rob you of Self Reliance
Often times it is easy to become complacent and allow life to rob you of your self reliance. You find a job with great benefits, you find a wife who takes care of all of the chores, whatever happens, life becomes too cozy.
As a great Persian general once said “Soft lands make for soft people”
Never become soft. You need to be able to take care of yourself and get things done, if you can’t be dropped into a new city all by yourself, find a job, run a household, and build a social life, then something needs to change.
2. Focus on Your Passion not Your Paycheck
People often spend so much time following the money, doing things that make the miserable, doing things that take away from their family lives, that take away from their health, and destroying your relationships.
While money is important and necessary, doing things that you love and making an impact is far more important. At the end of the day, the cars you drove and the houses you lived in won’t matter. The 0s at the end of your paycheck won’t matter, but what will matter is how you lived your life, the people you impacted, and the passion that filled your days.
3. The Rewards are There
Whenever people talk about passion and pursuing your dreams, there is also an inevitable conversation about “the grind,” because greatness doesn’t come without struggle. Following your passion is hard, doing what you love is hard. It is much easier to simply find a safe job that you don’t hate, get into a comfortable relationship that you know will, at best, be mediocre, and not get fat.
Putting it all on the line and struggling through low income, loss of love and friendship to achieve a distant goal is difficult. However, the rewards are there. Once you put the work in, you will see results. Don’t stop 3 feet from gold.
Keep pushing and pursue your dreams because the rewards are there.
The CEO of Global Equity Finance, Cornell Ho is a prolific entrepreneur and former top salesman currently responsible for one of the fastest growing mortgage companies in the world.
“Success only comes when you cut the chains of excuse and blame”
1. Be Completely Focused Sunday through Thursday
One of the keys to success is to master your energy by showing up to work at 100% everyday of the week. This means showing up well rested and not hungover Monday through Friday and letting your hair down and going crazy on Saturday and Sunday.
If you get 8 hours of sleep throughout the week and show up to work fully charged and focused, ready to kick ass and take names, you will out perform every other person at the office. However, if you are up late, drinking or fooling around after work, you will show up the next day lagging and your performance will suffer.
Work hard? Yes. Play hard? Yes.
2. Learn to Master Time Management
Nothing will impact the end result of your life more than one thing; how you manage your time.
Every single one of us are given exactly 24 hours in a day, nothing more, nothing less. How you manage those 24 hours will determine the quality of your weeks, months, years, and ultimately your life.
The key to mastering your time is to master your focus. When you are working, work. When you are relaxing, relax. When you are with family, be with family. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by external stimuli and thoughts about other tasks. Focus 100% on the thing at hand.
3. Find what Motivates You
One of the keys to achieving highly is to find what motivates you. Cut and dry.
Do you enjoy competition? Recognition? Financial Incentives? Impact? Advancement?
Figure out what makes you tick and create a reward system centered around it.
Megan Tull is a master business strategist specializing in assisting entrepreneurs in turning their passion into a highly profitable business they love and the author of The Passion Belief Method
“Be courageous, take action, and share your gifts with the world”
1. Your Why is One of the Most Important Parts of Success
In the interview, Megan talked about how losing her husband and becoming a single mother became the fuel for her to succeed. With a strong enough why, anything is possible.
If you desire success on any large scale, having a powerful ‘why’ is a must. You have to know why you want what you want and why you are willing to make the sacrifices that you will inevitably have to make to succeed.
2. Don’t Settle
Today, so many people settle for living lives that they aren’t passionate about they ascribe to the old adage that “Life’s a bear and then you die.” If you are living a life where you feel you are settling, something needs to change.
If you are struggling to figure out what it is that you want to do, what you are passionate about, what you could make of your life, then ask yourself these three questions.
1. What do I love to do
2. What do I do that I cant help but do
3. What do people tell me that I am good at
3. Learn to Set Your Intentions
One of the most essential habits of success is setting your intentions each day. Start your mornings by reminding yourself of what you are grateful for, what your goals are, and what you want to do with your life.
By doing this everyday, you will ensure that you remain focused on the positives of life and the goals that you have set for yourself and your future.
In the last 28 years, Akash has recovered from a life of drugs at a young age to now living a full life. Since then he has been skydiving, cave diving, ice diving, scuba diving, He spent 7 months in a war zone with the US Marines, climbed mountains all over the world, climbed vertical cliffs without the safety of a rope, started two businesses, spoken on a stage at a fortune 100 company, spent one month dragging a 190 pound sled 350 miles across the second largest icecap in the world and is now training to run across every country in the world.
He has also authored the book The Other Side of Fear which launches in Spring 2016.
“Earning success is hard. The process is laborious, tedious, sometimes even boring. Becoming wealthy, influential, and world-class in your field is slow and arduous.”~Darren Hardy
1. Learn to Suffer Well
Suffering is inevitable in life. No one makes it through without some pain, however what determines your capacity as a man and as a world changer, is your ability to suffer well, to laugh in the face of adversity and smile in the face of death, to, as Rudyard Kipling put it “Hold on when there is nothing in you, save the will which says ‘hold on.”
If you can learn to embrace suffering as an inevitability in life and, instead of avoiding it, seek to turn it into your asset by learning and growing from the pain… there is nothing that you cannot do.
2. Learn to Change Your Mindset Around Stress
One of the keys to mastering stress is mastering your mindset around stress. Learn to make the sh!t storms of life a game that you play with a smile, seeing how high of a tolerance you can build for pain and discomfort. Learn to view stress as an opportunity to grow and you will find yourself growing more than you ever thought possible.
3. Harness the Power of Psychology
You need to understand that your brain is not always your friend. It wants to keep you safe and alive, and as such, it does not always have your best interest at heart. If you want to become a master at the game of life, you need to learn to harness the power of psychology.
Learn to reduce the amount of choices you have to make in a given day and to build a spiral of upward momentum that will carry you through challenging times.
Throw out your junk food, but your gym clothes next to your alarm clock, avoid bars and ABC stores, do whatever you have to do to program yourself for success. Use the power of psychology and momentum to ensure your success every day.
4. Create a Powerful Environment
Environment always trumps willpower, and as such, it is important to create an environment conducive to success. Plaster your walls with success quotes and inspirational pictures and people, throw out your junk food, build a home gym, toss out your TV, do what is necessary to create a home base that is constantly reminding you of your goals, dreams, and ambitions.
Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Running Press, 2003)
Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications.
Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world.
“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun”~Audrey Hepburn
1. Nothing Hidden Nothing Half-assed
To stop being the nice guy and unleash your inner badass, you have to stop hiding and stop half assing. Stop hiding what you are thinking because you are afraid of what other people will say about you. Stop hiding your thoughts and feelings towards women because you are afraid it will upset them and cause tension. Stop bull shitting people to make them happy. Be you
Once you stop lying and keeping things hidden, you must stop half assing things. If you are going to do something, go all in, hold nothing back. If you are half assing, it is probably a sign that you are doing something that is incongruent with who you are and your mission in life, and you should likely reevaluate your reasons for doing it.
2. You Already Have Enough Information
The problem facing most guys today is not lack of information, but rather a lack of action on the information they already know. You already know everything that you need to know to begin taking the action that will help you achieve your goals in your dating, physical, and financial lives. It’s simple.
To be healthy, eat whole foods and exercise everyday. To get good with women, talk to more women. To become rich, work hard on a side hustle until you can quit your job and then save and invest at least 15% of your income. Simple right?
But are you taking the action?
3. Women Need Emotional Tension
Something that most men do not understand is that women want positive tension in their lives (why do you think they enjoy those damn soap operas?). They want a man who will challenge them and tease them. They want a man who is completely unafraid of their reaction.
The best ways to build emotional tension are to touch, tease, and tell.
Touch her playfully throughout the interaction. Touch her arm, spin her, hold her hand, break the touch barrier, the sooner the better. Tease her in a kind hearted way that shows you are a challenge and may even get close to crossing the line every once in awhile. And finally, just freaking tell her what it on your mind. Don’t play games and don’t bullshit.
Build the tension and be brutally honest.
(Touch tease and tell)
Raised on the South Side of Johannesburg, South Africa, Rodney King has been fighting for nearly his entire life. Rodney has been practicing martial arts since a young adult, using his skills to protect himself from violence in his school and community. At 17 Rodney was kicked out of his home by his abusive, alcoholic mother.
Now, many years later, Rodney coaches and trains special forces soldiers, entrepreneurs, and other high performers in martial arts and self management. He has written a book called “Full Contact Living“ and is completing his PHd in embodied leadership.
“The principles of success are easy to understand but hard to master”
1. In Order to Have Success You Have to Put in the Work
Success does not come without work. No matter who you are or how good you believe you are, success does not come without work. You have to put your nose to the grindstone and work, sometimes for years before your goals will come to fruition.
You have to go through the phase of being at the bottom of the totem pole, being completely incompetent before you can become the master.
In order to have success, you have got to put in the work!
2. Perfection is an Illusion
No matter how good you become, you will never be perfect. Perfectionism is a disease that prevents you from living your life to the fullest. If you want to perform at your best, let go of perfectionism, you will never be perfect, but you can be excellent.
You will never be perfect, but you can become a master.
3. Your Body’s Attitude is Crucial
Managing your state is an essential part of success. If your body is slouched and appears weak, you will also feel weak. However, if you have strong posture, stand up straight, smile, and take deep breaths, you will feel powerful and in charge.
Your state helps you to manage your life and take better charge of your emotions and mental state. Learn to master it and there is nothing that you cannot do.
4. Learn What You Need to Learn, Set the Intention and Take Action
The simplest formula for success is this. Learn what you need to learn, set your intention, and take the action.
If you want to become a successful entrepreneur, read, get mentors, and take course until you have the knowledge that you need, set your goal, and start taking massive action to achieve it.
No matter what your goal is, this formula will be the same whether you want to gain muscle, get better with women, become a great father, or start a billion dollar business.
Mark Palm, the president of Samaritan Aviation was raised as a pastor’s son and from a very young age has had a passion for people and aviation. Mark currently holds a Commercial Pilot’s license with an Instrumental Float-plane rating as well as an FAA Aircraft Mechanic’s license.
January, 2010, Mark and his wife Kirsten moved to Wewak, Papua New Guinea to begin Flight Operations in the East Sepik Province. They currently live in Wewak with their three children Sierra, Drake, and Nolan where they run Samaritan Aviation, a company dedicated to providing medical and missional help and support to the people of Papua New Guinea.
“Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you”
1. We are Here to Make a Difference
So often, it is easy to get caught up in making a name for yourself that you forget why we are really here. It’s easy to get caught up in making millions of dollars, having the beautiful wife, the white picket fence, and a safe, cozy lifestyle, that you forget we aren’t here for ourselves. We are here to make a difference.
No matter whether you believe in God, the Universe, or Mother Nature, whoever and whatever put us on this earth didn’t do so arbitrarily, and your existence isn’t an accident. You are here to put a dent in the universe, but that can only happen when you take your eyes off of yourself and start looking towards others.
Even if you believe in no higher power, there is no life better lived than a life of service and impact to others. And the wonderful thing is, living an awesome life full of fast cars, amazing relationships, and travel and living a life of purpose are not mutually exclusive. In fact, if you approach it right, they are often the two most inclusive lifestyles you can live.
2. The Things That Bother You Are Trivial
In the west, we get angry when our wifi is slow, or when we have to slow down our $30,000 car by 20 miles an hour because of traffic. And we allow these petty little things to bother us and we carry them with us throughout our day, never once thinking about how incredibly unimportant these things really are.
You are blessed if you have the means to listen to this podcast. Realize that and quit allowing trivial “problems” to run your life.
3. Listen to Those Who Have Been there Before
One of the best investments you will ever make is into your relationships, particularly your relationships with people who have come before you and can guide you along the best paths.
Whether you are looking to become wealthy, have an amazing marriage, incredible health, make an amazing impact, or have an impeccable spiritual life, find someone who has done if before you and has the results that you want and learn from them. It could be a father or a mother, a friend, a stranger, or even a book. But be sure that you have mentors guiding you through life, because only a fool doesn’t learn from the mistakes of others.
4. Make Your Word Mean Something
One of the most underrated characteristics of a modern man is integrity. Make your word count.
If you say something, you do it. Period.
There are no ifs, ands, or buts. Be a man of your word always. People will respect you more, you will respect yourself more, and your life will become more meaningful and worthwhile when you become known as a man of integrity.
Mark Manson is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he’s been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries.
“One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful”~Sigmund Freud
1. What Struggle Are You Willing to Face
One of the best questions that you can ask yourself in life is not “what are my goals” or “what am I passionate about” but rather “How much pain and struggle am I willing to go through?”
Because the simple fact is this, there is no great achievement in life without pain.
You will not become successful at business without going through the pain of sleepless nights, losing money, and having products fail. You will not have a happy fulfilled marriage without first going through rejections, marital struggles, and painful self work. You won’t get a great body without getting off your ass and hitting the gym.
There is no achievement without pain, so the question that you need to ask is “How much pain am I willing to endure?” There is no right or wrong answer, but if you tell yourself that you want to be a bodybuilder, millionaire, playboy and you aren’t willing to get up, go to the gym, do work on your business, and go out on dates, then you need to reevaluate your pain tolerance and adjust accordingly.
2. It’s Important for Life to Suck Sometimes
Many self help gurus would have you believe that life is all sunshine and roses and that nothing bad ever happens to you if you just say this one affirmation every morning. But that’s a load of bullcrap.
Life is going to suck sometimes, if you do things wrong, it’s going to suck a lot of the time. However, this is not a bad thing. No great man was ever forged without first facing some adversity. It is the times where life sucks that you will have your biggest breakthroughs and learn the most about yourself.
Embrace the suck, and use it to make your best life.
3. Happiness Comes from Problems
In continuing with the theme of pain being a positive in life, an important realization to come to is that hapiness and fulfillment do not come from a lack of problems, but rather from solving worthwhile problems.
For some people, this means solving problems in business and figuring out how to impact more people with a limited budget or how to launch a new product when the last one failed. For others this is how to build and raise an amazing family when your marriage is strained and your children don’t respect you.
If you are unhappy in life, chances are the quality of the problems that you are fixing is very low, or worse yet, you aren’t actually taking action to fix the problems you have in the first place.
Realize that solving problems is what brings fulfillment and if you are feeling a sense of lack in your life, simply find better problems to solve whether they are physical, relational, financial, or spiritual.
4. Screw Finding Your Passion
Guess what? You are not entitled to anything. So many people today will tell you that you somehow deserve to make millions doing what you love as if that is one of our “God given and inalienable rights” but the cold truth is that it isn’t.
Instead of focusing on finding your passions, simply do more of what you enjoy doing already. If you can find a way to build it into a business and monetize it, then great, if not, then work a job your enjoy and follow what you are passionate about on the side.
Just because you’re passionate about playing Jazz flute doesn’t mean that you should pack up from your high end executive job that you enjoy, pays well, and allows you to be around for your children to pursue a career as a professional musician, because the simple fact is, even if you do that, there will come a time when playing jazz flute sucks.
No matter how much you love something, there will come a day when you simply don’t feel like waking up and doing it that day. Passion or no.
5. Do Something
Do something, anything.
Do something, anything.
As Churchill once said “The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
If you are struggling to find the motivation or passions in your life, then just do something. Take a trip, start a new job, launch a blog, just do something.
Jason is a top business and executive coach. He’s a leading expert on human behavior, influence, sales, networking, and leadership. At the heart of his strategy is the understanding that people and your relationships are your true “wealth.” Everything we accomplish in life is with or through other people.
He works with experts, entrepreneurs and executives to help them get known and stand out by building key skill sets and right relationships, creating their brand platform and purpose (including helping them get to the next stage in their business/career), and improving their business strategies/processes. You can reach him at www.BeExtraordinary.tv and to get free networking, personal branding, and other free guides.
If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.”~Brene Brown
1. Align Internally
Before you can truly begin down the path to mastering your relationships, both personal and professional, you must start by mastering the one relationship you have total control over; your relationship with yourself.
To truly become the social genius that you have the potential to be, you must first align internally. This means that you have to be grounded and on purpose, moving your life in a positive direction. It does not mean you have to be perfect, it means that you have to love yourself and constantly work on improving yourself.
Gain control of your emotions, take care of your body, feed your mind good information, do things that light you up with a passion. The more aligned you are internally, the more aligned you will show up externally and the better your relationships will be.
2. Emotions are Key
Whenever you are in any social situation, you must remember that emotions are key. This is true of your emotions and the emotions of others.
Understanding what people are feeling, and what they want to feel will allow you to properly assess your actions and maximize your social value within each situation. Everything people do is based on emotion, learn to understand and harness this power, and your social life will sky rocket.
3. Find Your Sweet Spot
No matter whether you are an employee or entrepreneur, your life will be improved drastically if you work within what Brian Tracy calls your “Area of Genius.” Everyone has a unique gift that can almost always be used in the company they work for or run, it’s up to you to find it.
If you are miserable at your IT job because you love working with people and hate the office, consider switching to something in sales. Find what makes you light up, and crush it.
4. Become an Introducer
One of the most powerful social skills that you can learn is the art of the introduction. Even with people that you just met, if you can increase someone’s social circle while speaking their praises in front of them, you will become instantly liked and appreciated in every social circle you work in.
Although it may seem daunting at first, it’s really as simple as selecting two people that you know (or even don’t know) and simply telling them that you would like to introduce them to someone. You will rarely if ever get turned down and it will add obscene social value in any situation.
Jeffrey Platts is passionate about helping men design and live that has them feeling fully alive. He’s obsessed with finding out what keeps people from being their most authentic. Which is actually what is most attractive. Not just physically. Professionally, financially, emotionally, sexually, socially, spiritually.
Jeffrey Platts is a men’s life and love coach with a background in salsa dancing, world traveling and yoga instruction.
“Whatever I think the world is withholding from me, I am withholding from the world”~Eckhart Tolle
“The cave you fear to enter contains the treasure you seek”~Joseph Campbell
1. If You Want External Change, You Have to Start Internally
On the road to success, in whatever field, be it financially, socially, physically, or emotionally, the change starts inside. No change will happen in your external world without first taking the time to do the deep internal work of finding your why, crushing mental barriers, and setting a clear vision just to name a few.
You need to realize that if you want to see success, you have to work from the inside out and be willing to put in the time and effort on yourself before you will see the results that you are looking for.
2. Your Identity Determines Your Outcomes
Often times, when individuals try to change, a huge stumbling block that they run into is that the identity that they have held for years is incongruent with the new path that they are on.
If you have told yourself that you are a smoker for nearly 20 years, you will find it damn hard to quit smoking because that habit is so tied up in your identity. Therefor, if you want to make any sort of appreciable changes in your life, part of the inner work you need to start with is developing a new positive identity in yourself.
Develop an identity of a man who is disciplined, who is hardworking, who is innovative, who is smart, who is whatever you want to be. Only when your identity is aligned with your goals will you begin to achieve them.
3. Comparison Will Kill Your Dreams
The fastest way to live a miserable, unhappy life is to constantly be in comparison. Guess what, someone will always be richer than you, better looking than you, have a better family than you, date more attractive women than you, and drive a faster car than you.
But that is completely irrelevant.
All that matters is that you are competing with yourself. Are you living up to your full potential within the circumstances that you were given going after the goals you have set? Other people are born with different assets and skills than you and often had successes that came from hardships you would never wish upon your worst enemy.
Learn to congratulate others on their successes without being threatened by them. As the old clique goes, “The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”
4. Be Who You Want to be Unapologetically
In society, we are all encouraged to fit in. So fill the social mold and to do what everyone else is doing. This leaves very little room for authenticity and a life on your terms.
Just be who you are unapologetically and don’t worry about what society thinks. Do you love salsa dancing and yoga? Who cares that society sees this as less manly than MMA and Crossfit! Do you want to commit to a loving and monogamous marriage? Who cares that society will tell you that you are less of a man for sleeping with fewer women.
Be who you are and who you want to be completely and without apology.
Rolf Potts is the author of two books, Vagabonding and Marco Polo Didn’t Go There. He has reported from more than sixty countries for the likes of National Geographic Traveler, The New Yorker, Slate.com, the New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, The Believer, National Public Radio, and the Travel Channel.
His adventures have taken him across six continents, and include piloting a fishing boat 900 miles down the Laotian Mekong, hitchhiking across Eastern Europe, traversing Israel on foot, bicycling across Burma, driving a Land Rover across South America, and traveling around the world for six weeks with no luggage or bags of any kind.
~Walt Whitman The Song of the Open Road
1. Throw off Societal Constraints
Today, especially in Western culture, we are indoctrinated from birth with a long and painful list of ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’. We all “should” go to college, get good grades, get a job, and then work for forty years before we allow ourselves to travel and explore. We all “must” live life for the weekends and do a corporate job with a steady paycheck. Or else….
Or else what?
If you want to live a rich, interesting, and fulfilling life, then you need to reexamine many of the constraints that society has put upon you and your dreams. If you want to travel do it. If you want to start a business, then do it.
If you want to work a corporate job and get the white picket fence life, there is no shame in that. IF that is truly what you want. But if you are putting off your dreams and desires because you don’t think friends, family, or society would approve, then it’s time to wake up and realize that you only get one shot at this life. You need to live it to the fullest.
2. Pause, Search and Receive
That said, do not throw away the wisdom of the generations that came before you. Just because they came from a different time with different technological capabilities and lifestyle opportunities does not mean that you should ignore advice from those more seasoned than you.
Before you act, pause. Think about what you are doing and the ramifications from a realistic standpoint. Then search. Search for the best way that you can proceed and and develop a plan of action. And finally receive. Receive the advice, criticisms, and input from others and filter through and apply it accordingly.
3. Travel is Much Easier, Cheaper, and Safer than You Think
Many people believe that travel is too difficult, expensive, or dangerous. But the simple fact is, if you do it right, there has never been a time in human history where travel was easier, cheaper, or safer.
You can fly across the world for less than $1,000. If you have savings or some form of location independent income, you can live like a king in many other countries for pennies on the dollar. And if you keep your head on you and use common sense, most of the dangers can be avoided by living like a local and staying far away from the touristy areas.
5. Time is Your Most Important Currency
You can always earn more money, but your time is an ever draining and finite resource with an unknown limit. You could die today, tomorrow, or 20 years from now and you have no way of knowing.
People treat time like it is a cheap commodity instead of a precious resource. You will never get a single second of your life back, it is time to start living accordingly. Go after the things you want, take the year long trip of self discovery, talk to the girl, forgive the person that hurt you.
Stop acting like you will live forever, because the tragic truth is this. You won’t. No one will.
4. Minimalism Makes Life Easier
Getting rid of your crap opens up your schedule and your life to new and incredible opportunities that are otherwise unavailable when you are constantly caught up in and worried about all of your “stuff.” While this might be hard to understand, especially if you come from a hyper-materialistic society, minimalizing your life can be one of the best things you can do.
Sell or donate the things you don’t use and see what sort of adventures you get into when you can keep all of your possessions in one suitcase. Or better yet, do what Rolf did and travel without a suitcase!
Mas Sajady has always been intuitively gifted. Like many others, he tried to hide or ignore his highly intuitive nature so he could “fit in”. It is for this reason Mas has always strongly advised parents to support children who have similar affinities. It literally took Mas two near death experiences to awaken and embrace his abilities.
He started working on clients professionally in November of 2009. Within less than a year, he had worked on over a thousand individuals who were drawn to him by referral.
Through his daily mediation sessions and frequent speaking engagements worldwide, Mas has been able to touch countless individuals around the world. Whether it is physical or emotional health, finances, relationships or spirituality, Mas can change your frequency in order to Be Limitless & enjoy 360° of Abundance in all aspects of your life.
“Change your frequency, change your life”
1. Set a Vision for Yourself
If you want to start creating an amazing life, have true fulfillment and start living a life that is on purpose, you first must develop a vision. Develop a vision that lights a spark in your eye and a fire in your belly, something that you can truly be passionate about, even if at first the vision is more focused on the external.
As you continue to grow and progress as a man, so too will your vision and the important thing is that you have a vision you are moving towards. If you begin to reach your vision and realize that it is not for you, then simply course correct and keep moving forward.
2. Fulfillment Doesn’t Come from External Sources
Society would have us all believe that fulfillment comes from the fancy cars, the big houses, the beautiful trophy wives and expensive trips to Italy, however, the truth is that fulfillment is something that is internal.
True fulfillment comes when your actions are aligned with your life’s purpose, it comes when you are whole as a man and actively contributing to making the world better.
An extra 0 at the end of your paycheck will not fulfill you. Becoming the best version of yourself and following your vision will.
3. Try as Many Things as Possible
Life is short and full of possibility. Seek to try as many things as you possibly can. Actively pursue new and exciting experiences and things that will challenge your perception of the world. Become a “yes man” when it comes to new things and never turn your nose up at an experience because it is weird of out of your comfort zone.
4. Complete Yourself First
Many people try to “complete” others or problems in their environments without first operating from a place of completion themselves. You see this when a young man dervies his identity from a woman he is dating or a high level executive finds all of his self worth from his business.
But what happens when the girl leaves and the business tanks?
You are left with a broken and incomplete man who is completely lost.
It is essential to your success that you start by working on yourself first. You need to become a self reliant, whole and complete man before you can truly impact the world in a great way.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you try and save those around you.
Neil Patel is a Seattle, Washington-based entrepreneur, angel investor, and analytics expert. He is best known for his work in digital marketing, and as the cofounder of the analytics companies KISSmetrics, Crazy Egg, and Quick Sprout
“When things are looking good, always remember that someone else out there always has it better than you. And when things are going badly for you, remember someone has it worse”
1. Do Not Operate from Emotion
One of the biggest mistake that people, especially entrepreneurs, make is that they operate from emotion and not logic. Like the opening success quote, it is important that you always remember that someone out there has it better and is kicking your butt at business, but someone out there also always has it worse and the failures you are facing are not life changing.
Stay grounded as a man in your decision making. Always take some time and breathe whenever you feel overwhelmed and simply think through the situation logically. (Something Andrew and many guests have suggested for controlling your emotions are cold showers and meditation.)
2. When You Are Young You Have Nothing to Lose
So often, young people allow fear to stop them from taking action without realizing one simple fact…. you have nothing to lose.
When you are a young single guy, without a mortgage, car payments, or child support to pay, you are free. So start your business. The best thing that can happen is that you succeed and make millions, the likely outcome is that you will make some money but it won’t be your big break, the worst thing is that you learn.
Is learning really that bad?
3. Keep Making Mistakes and Keep Learning
No matter where you are in business, always be learning. Look at every “failure” as an opportunity instead of a mistake. Each time that something doesn’t work or turn out how you want it to, you have the choice to decide to analyze the opportunity and learn from it.
And remember, the more you learn, the more you earn.
4. Business is a Game; Play a Game You Enjoy
No matter what business you are in, it is all a game. A game that you should be playing to win, but a game no less. Be sure that you are playing a game that you enjoy.
If you are in a business that you don’t enjoy, you are setting yourself up for failure before you begin. Succeeding in life and business is hard, it’s significantly harder if you aren’t passionate about working ridiculous hours, staying up late, waking up early, and making sacrifices.
5. Focus on One Idea and Go All or Nothing
When you are first starting out in entrepreneurship, it’s very easy to get sucked into a million different projects and gigs without focusing on one to master.
Find something that you enjoy and freaking crush it! Go after it with everything you have got, get laser focused and devote everything you can to it. Then, and only then will you truly succeed.
Bob Schwenkler is the creator of Advanced Sexual Stamina for Men and host of Sex the Podcast. Bob and his amazing girlfriend Natalie help men and women, singles and couples, have the best sex of their lives and experience playful, deeply connected relationships. Click here to learn more about Bob and his work.
“Your only real choices are to open fully and receive their gifts or crucify them and be relieved of their force…But you must be willing to feel your heart’s terrors and wounds or else you will close and protect yourself, striking back at the source of openness you most yearn to become”~ David Deida
1. Open Up to Your Masculine for Better Sex
If you want to truly open a woman up and allow her to fully feel you and be fully present with you, you need to drop into your masculine. This means taking the charge and leading, being sexually confident and owning your desires.
Stop pussying out about the things you want in your sex life and start unashamedly going after them. Don’t feel shame about your sexuality and your desire for women. Own it, be honest with them about it, and project it out into the world. Not only will this free you, but it will free your woman to be fully present with you.
2. Sexual Performance Isn’t About Sexual Performance
Sexual performance issues are never actually about sexual performance. They are the symptom of a deeper issue at play in your life causing you to feel some form of sexual shame or anxiety.
Whether it is a sex negative upbringing or religious background, feelings of sexual unconfidence, or merely not being present and being completely in your head, sexual issues are rarely actually physical.
3. Get in Touch with Your Body
The best way to get better in bed is to get in touch with your body first before getting in touch with a woman’s body. Start practicing yoga and meditation, breathe into your balls, dance, run, laugh, get outside and run around. Do anything that takes you out of your chair and puts you in touch with your being, your body, and nature.
Doing this will not only result in better sex, but also a better quality of life.
Jolie Dawn is an author, speaker, and wild visionary. Through her own journey of spirituality and self-discovery, along with thousands of hours of training, Jolie has discovered her innate ability to set people free from the confines of limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging habits, so they can create a life and business that truly thrives.
Jolie has fearlessly built her own platform to share her message through her popular Inner Goddess Unleashed Summit and also her retreats, online programs, and one-on-one programs. She has attained smashing success in guiding women through her signature process to help them remember their limitless potential so they can start taking immediate action on their dreams.
“You win just by playing”
1. Location is Important
One of the most important factors in your success is your location, both physical and social.
If you are living in a small town that is filled with fast food “restaurants”, bars, and walmarts, it is going to be much more difficult to stay healthy and fit and find a like minded community than if you are living in at the beach with yoga studios and juice bars on every corners.
If you are living in a retirement community full of baby boomers, you will find it difficult to find young entrepreneurs to share ideas with and create incredible businesses with. However, if you are living in a large, vibrant city, full of startups and entrepreneurs, you will find success comes much more easily.
If you set yourself up to live in a location that is conducive to your goals and you surround yourself with loving and supportive people who will push you and force you to grow, nothing can stop you!
2. Play the Host
Whenever you are struggling to find like minded individuals, or to find groups that you feel you fit into and want to be a part of; play the host. Invite as many people as you can to something you have put together and executed, especially individuals you respect and admire.
Start taking the initiative and creating and leading events locally to get those people together, not only will you meet great new people, but those people will respect you more because they will see you as the leader and creator of a group that they regularly enjoy attending.
3. Embrace Your Purpose More than Your Relationships
Your purpose ALWAYS comes before your relationships.
You were put on this earth to do amazing things, to create world changing movements, to help take people’s lives in a radically different direction. Your relationships are just a small part of that, they are not the whole.
No matter how amazing you think a woman is, she does not come before your purpose, and if she is a woman of character who loves and respects you as a man, she will never want to.
4. Take Care of and Follow Your Body
Your body is the key to everything. Take care of it and respect it, and you will live a full and joyful life. Disrespect it and treat it like a trash heap instead of a temple (or playground depending on your adventure levels) and you will feel the pain of your choices.
Fill your body with good food, good exercise, and good sleep and stay in tune with it through practices like yoga and meditation, and it will serve you throughout your life.
Take care of your body, it’s the only one you’ve got.
Jeff Spadafora is the Director of Global Coaching Services and Product Development for The Halftime Institute. He spent 20 years as a leadership and executive development consultant for Fortune 1000 companies such as Ford Motor Company, Sears & Roebuck, Compuware, Domino’s Pizza, Visteon, Northern Trust Bank, Helene Curtis, and Sky Chefs.
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of your life, the full potential of your soul will never emerge.”~Henry Van Dyke
1. Success Will Not Fulfill You
In today’s materialistic and ego driven society, we are incepted from birth with the idea that buying more stuff and achieving higher status will lead to joy and fulfillment. But as anyone who has ever been to the top will tell you, this is simply not true.
While it is true that achieving goals, improving your material comfort, and reaching new heights of social prestige will increase your momentary happiness, this path does not offer any sort of contentment or joy in the long term. It results in a never ending quest to recreate the dopamine high that is released every time that you hit a new tax bracket.
2. Giving Yourself Away is the True Path to Gaining Everything
While living a life in pursuit of excess material wealth won’t lead to fulfillment, living a life in pursuit of generosity and impact, and legacy will.
If you truly wish to live a life of fulfillment and joy, not just momentary happiness and brief episodes of ecstasy, you must start by giving yourself to a cause bigger than yourself. You must find a passion and a calling that makes it difficult for you to stay in bed in the mornings because you are so excited about how you will get to change the world.
As cliche and trite as it may sound, finding a calling that is about a bigger picture than just yourself is the true path to success. Perhaps at this moment, you can’t find that calling or simply don’t know how you want to impact the world.
This is fine.
Start with simple things: Volunteer at a local habitat for humanity, give away 10-15% of your income to a cause you believe in, or even just call your grandparents from time to time. Find things to do that remind you that you are a small part of a whole, find things that let you serve and give without any expectations.
Give yourself away and you will gain everything.
3.You Need to Line Up your Core, Capacity, and Context
Similar to the four pillars, the Three C’s are the essentials of life that must be in alignment for you to be living a “10” life.
This is who you are, what your mission is, and what you stand for. To have a well defined “core” (in the sense of success and fulfillment, not your abs), you must define your virtues, your beliefs, and your character traits that will remain unwavering no matter how strenuous the external circumstances become. (also called NUTS or Non-negotiable, unalterable terms by Wayne Levine) And you must also discover and be actively pursuing what you believe to be your calling and purpose in life.
This is how you are showing up in each area of your life, it’s about maximizing your potential. Are you staying in the best shape you can physically? Are you being the best husband, father, friend, son, or brother that you can relationally? Are you connected with whatever your definition of God is? (Or if you are an atheist, have you done your research and do you have peace about the question of God?)
This is where you are working towards your calling and purpose. Do you need to move jobs, cities, or countries? Do you need to stay where you are and simply work change how you are showing up?
Only you can answer these questions, and it is imperative that you take the time to do so lest you work your whole life away on something that you realize (too late) was never in line with your calling in the first place.
4. Busyness and Comfort are Your Two Greatest Enemies
The two greatest enemies to success and fulfillment are not laziness or greed or ignorance, but busyness and comfort.
Busyness and comfort are malicious and sneak into your life slowly, without any obvious signs, but once they are in, they slowly and surely convince you that you are ok at your current level because there isn’t the pain necessary to elicit change.
When you are comfortable, it is difficult to find a real reason to change your lifestyle or pursue dreams, and when you are constantly busy, you never have the time to sit down and ask these questions in the first place.
Don’t allow busyness or comfort to rob you of your destiny. Take time to evaluate where you are in life with an open and unbiased mind. Go down the rabbit hole and it is likely that you will come out of the other side with a better understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the actions required to achieve it.
There is a billion dollar war on men that most of us don't even know is being fought.
Today, I'm going to peel back the curtain and reveal the truth.
I've been overwhelmed by all of the support I've received over the past few weeks and today, I wanted to take a minute to share where I'm at and what my plans are for the future.
Alex Dodd is also known as Ali Afshar and is an actor and producer, known for Three Kings (1999), Godzilla (1998) and The Siege (1998) and is also the founder/president of the world record holding auto racing team Easy Street Motorsports (ESX).
He is the creator of the exclusive ESX Super Vantage Aston Martin and ESX STI Subaru vehicles. Alex and his company ESX raced for Subaru of America for 7 years from 2001 through 2007 and won two NHRA National Championships in 2006 & 2007.
“You can sleep when you are dead”
1. Always be Hustling
You can sleep when you are dead, or as Newton put it “A body in motion tends to stay in motion.” Once you gain momentum, it is imperative that you keep hustling and keep grinding to ensure continued success.
While there is plenty of debate about the effects of sleep and success, if you want to be successful, you will lose sleep to achieve your goals. If you want to achieve great things, you have to be willing to lose sleep, put in the effort, and work ungodly hours for a certain amount of time. But it will be worth it.
2. Do What You Love
As cliche as it may sound, a life spent doing anything other than things you love, is a life of drudgery and pain. Why would you willingly subject yourself to daily work that you find dull and uninspiring just for an added 0 on your paycheck?
Do what you love and the money will follow (give that what you love is more than smoking weed and playing xbox). If you live your life doing things that light you up with a passion, you will never work a day in your life, and money and impact will be a natural byproduct.
Don’t waste your life with things you don’t love. Follow the advice of your middle school teacher and do what you love.
3. Use Your Passions Instead of Drugs and Alcohol
Shit happens. Welcome to the real world. When it does, many men are tempted to fall into drugs and alcohol to escape their problems instead of facing them head on. Instead of falling for this trap, dive headfirst into your passions and create a life centered around the things you love to help yourself heal and get through the hard times.
Bad things will happen, it’s up to you whether you allow them to destroy you and ruin your life with addiction, or whether you use it as a catalyst to create your best self.
4. Change the World with Kindness
The world is full of ass holes. It’s full of wannabes and windbags trying to seem important and putting others down in the process. Don’t be like them.
Life is short, love others, be kind and leave nothing on the table because you never know when it is your time. You will never regret a life of passion, love, and kindness. Period.
Jason Hanson is a former Central Intelligence Agency officer the author of The Covert Guide to Concealed Carry a frequent writer for Combat Handguns magazine and Personal and Home Defense magazine and an NRA Certified Instructor
He is also skilled in: Personal Protection, Risk Assessment, Firearms, Security Operations, Private Investigations, Counter Terrorism, Vulnerability Assessment, Emergency Management.
Jason was born and raised in Northern Virginia and spent 6 years with the CIA. He then moved to Utah with his wife and children to start a security business and now runs Spy Escape and Evasion, training individuals on how to better protect themselves and their families. Jason is also the author of the new book Spy Secrets that Can Save Your Life.
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you’d better be running”~Christopher McDougall
1. A Solid Morning Routine is Essential
If you want to achieve success in any area of your life, a powerful morning routine is essential! Jason shared with us in his interview how having a morning “Power Hour” has helped him instill successful habits and stay on track for years.
Some of the best things to include in a morning routine are: Exercise, nutrition (green smoothie, or a healthy breakfast), meditation, goal setting, journaling and reading.
2. In Real Life Situations Try to Deflate, Not Confront
In the real world, it’s better to prevent dangerous situations before they ever happen. Instead of trying to prepare to defend against an attacker, focus first on never getting attacked.
The basic rules of this, as shared by Jason are to
1. Always be aware of and in tune with your environment (get off of your cell phone)
2. Always keep your head up and make it known with your posture that you aren’t as easy target
3. Bonus: Get fit, the bigger you are and the more you look like you can handle yourself, the less likely you are to be targeted.
If you see someone following you or acting odd, don’t duck and run like hollywood, but turn and face them, make eye contact, and verbally make it clear that you are aware of what they are doing with an assertive “Can I help you?”
3. A Few Safety Pointers
Below are a few key safety pointers from Jason:
1. Whenever checking into a hotel, always ask for 2 keys. This makes it look like you have someone else joining you making you less of a target
2. Whenever possible always select a hotel room between the 3rd and 6th floor as these rooms are less likely to get robbed (since they are harder to escape from) but also leave you ample ability to leave in the event of an emergency.
3. When abroad, always ask the hotel about taxi services and be sure that you detail the route you want your driver to take prior to leaving with him so that you can make sure he is not taking you somewhere to rob or harm you, or simply so you know you aren’t being overcharged.
4. At home, make your home the last place people would want to rob. Put up security system warning signs on the walkway, in the back windows and in the front yard. Even if you don’t have a dog, leave a dog bowl outside to make it look like you do (really, who wants to tangle with a Mastiff), and if you can afford it, put cameras (or decoys) up. Basically take the rule of showing that you aren’t an easy target and apply it to your home.
4. Never Give Up
No matter how hard things get, never, ever, ever, ever give up. If you keep working you will see success. 10 years from now will come whether you give up or not, but your perseverance will determine whether it comes with you having achieved your goals or not.
This is what I learned.
Martin Grunburg is the designer/inventor of Habit Factor® as well as the author of the international bestselling book sharing the same name. He has presented at TEDx in the United Arab Emirates, and his work has been featured in the world’s most popular productivity blogs such as Lifehacker.com and Mashable.com.
Prior to developing and authoring The Habit Factor, Martin has been a partner in C3 Networx, formerly Home2Office Computing Solutions, Inc. As founder/COO, he’s been nominated twice for the Entrepreneur of the Year award and has twice led his team to win the Better Business Bureau Award for Marketplace Ethics.
“If you want to find the secret of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration”~Nikola Tesla
1. Pressure = Force/Area
This basic scientific formula can actually offer incredible insights into the world of success and productivity.
For examples Parkinson’s Principle, which states that the pressure and speed of completion of a task will increase as the timeline decreases can be derived from this formula. Pressure (the importance of a project and how much effort you will put into it) is equal to force (the difficulty of the task) divided by area (the amount of time you have to complete a task)
For example, if I tell you that you have to complete a perfectly written 3,000 word article in the next 3 months or else you will lose all of your financial assets ….how much pressure would you feel? Despite the large financial cost, you would likely feel decidedly unperturbed.
Now what if I said that you have 3 hours?
You would move heaven and earth to get that article done!
This is actually a very powerful principle that you can leverage in your life to achieve results at a more rapid pace. By creating more impending deadlines and higher stakes, you will be forced to become more creative, find time to pursue your goals, and actually get the work done because of this positive pressure.
2. Pressure is a Neutral Tool
There has been significant research done on the affects of pressure on the human mind and body over the past years, and what Martin has found is that, despite what popular science says, pressure is neither good nor bad, it is merely a tool.
If unmanaged and unchecked, pressure can build up and cause all sorts of issues, like many other stressors. However, if used strategically to increase the efficiency with which tasks are completed and the speed of implementation, pressure can be a fantastic tool for massive productivity and results.
So in the end, pressure, like so many other things, is neutral. It is neither good nor bad. It is simply how you use it.
3. Pressure Creates Peace of Mind
Exposing yourself to intentional pressure can help create confidence, and peace of mind during stressful situations. The scientific formula for equilibrium is the equal offset of pressure. Navy SEALs go through thousands of hours and years of training before they enter into combat so that when the actual bullets are flying, and bombs are going off, they are already used to the pressure of the environment and able to respond with calm, swift confidence.
By properly planning, preparing, and practicing for any given situation, you increase your chances of success dramatically once you are actually under the pressure of game day. It’s like the old saying “The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in war.”