Jeffrey Platts is passionate about helping men design and live that has them feeling fully alive. He’s obsessed with finding out what keeps people from being their most authentic. Which is actually what is most attractive. Not just physically. Professionally, financially, emotionally, sexually, socially, spiritually.
Jeffrey Platts is a men’s life and love coach with a background in salsa dancing, world traveling and yoga instruction.
“Whatever I think the world is withholding from me, I am withholding from the world”~Eckhart Tolle
“The cave you fear to enter contains the treasure you seek”~Joseph Campbell
1. If You Want External Change, You Have to Start Internally
On the road to success, in whatever field, be it financially, socially, physically, or emotionally, the change starts inside. No change will happen in your external world without first taking the time to do the deep internal work of finding your why, crushing mental barriers, and setting a clear vision just to name a few.
You need to realize that if you want to see success, you have to work from the inside out and be willing to put in the time and effort on yourself before you will see the results that you are looking for.
2. Your Identity Determines Your Outcomes
Often times, when individuals try to change, a huge stumbling block that they run into is that the identity that they have held for years is incongruent with the new path that they are on.
If you have told yourself that you are a smoker for nearly 20 years, you will find it damn hard to quit smoking because that habit is so tied up in your identity. Therefor, if you want to make any sort of appreciable changes in your life, part of the inner work you need to start with is developing a new positive identity in yourself.
Develop an identity of a man who is disciplined, who is hardworking, who is innovative, who is smart, who is whatever you want to be. Only when your identity is aligned with your goals will you begin to achieve them.
3. Comparison Will Kill Your Dreams
The fastest way to live a miserable, unhappy life is to constantly be in comparison. Guess what, someone will always be richer than you, better looking than you, have a better family than you, date more attractive women than you, and drive a faster car than you.
But that is completely irrelevant.
All that matters is that you are competing with yourself. Are you living up to your full potential within the circumstances that you were given going after the goals you have set? Other people are born with different assets and skills than you and often had successes that came from hardships you would never wish upon your worst enemy.
Learn to congratulate others on their successes without being threatened by them. As the old clique goes, “The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”
4. Be Who You Want to be Unapologetically
In society, we are all encouraged to fit in. So fill the social mold and to do what everyone else is doing. This leaves very little room for authenticity and a life on your terms.
Just be who you are unapologetically and don’t worry about what society thinks. Do you love salsa dancing and yoga? Who cares that society sees this as less manly than MMA and Crossfit! Do you want to commit to a loving and monogamous marriage? Who cares that society will tell you that you are less of a man for sleeping with fewer women.
Be who you are and who you want to be completely and without apology.
Rolf Potts is the author of two books, Vagabonding and Marco Polo Didn’t Go There. He has reported from more than sixty countries for the likes of National Geographic Traveler, The New Yorker, Slate.com, the New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, The Believer, National Public Radio, and the Travel Channel.
His adventures have taken him across six continents, and include piloting a fishing boat 900 miles down the Laotian Mekong, hitchhiking across Eastern Europe, traversing Israel on foot, bicycling across Burma, driving a Land Rover across South America, and traveling around the world for six weeks with no luggage or bags of any kind.
~Walt Whitman The Song of the Open Road
1. Throw off Societal Constraints
Today, especially in Western culture, we are indoctrinated from birth with a long and painful list of ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’. We all “should” go to college, get good grades, get a job, and then work for forty years before we allow ourselves to travel and explore. We all “must” live life for the weekends and do a corporate job with a steady paycheck. Or else….
Or else what?
If you want to live a rich, interesting, and fulfilling life, then you need to reexamine many of the constraints that society has put upon you and your dreams. If you want to travel do it. If you want to start a business, then do it.
If you want to work a corporate job and get the white picket fence life, there is no shame in that. IF that is truly what you want. But if you are putting off your dreams and desires because you don’t think friends, family, or society would approve, then it’s time to wake up and realize that you only get one shot at this life. You need to live it to the fullest.
2. Pause, Search and Receive
That said, do not throw away the wisdom of the generations that came before you. Just because they came from a different time with different technological capabilities and lifestyle opportunities does not mean that you should ignore advice from those more seasoned than you.
Before you act, pause. Think about what you are doing and the ramifications from a realistic standpoint. Then search. Search for the best way that you can proceed and and develop a plan of action. And finally receive. Receive the advice, criticisms, and input from others and filter through and apply it accordingly.
3. Travel is Much Easier, Cheaper, and Safer than You Think
Many people believe that travel is too difficult, expensive, or dangerous. But the simple fact is, if you do it right, there has never been a time in human history where travel was easier, cheaper, or safer.
You can fly across the world for less than $1,000. If you have savings or some form of location independent income, you can live like a king in many other countries for pennies on the dollar. And if you keep your head on you and use common sense, most of the dangers can be avoided by living like a local and staying far away from the touristy areas.
5. Time is Your Most Important Currency
You can always earn more money, but your time is an ever draining and finite resource with an unknown limit. You could die today, tomorrow, or 20 years from now and you have no way of knowing.
People treat time like it is a cheap commodity instead of a precious resource. You will never get a single second of your life back, it is time to start living accordingly. Go after the things you want, take the year long trip of self discovery, talk to the girl, forgive the person that hurt you.
Stop acting like you will live forever, because the tragic truth is this. You won’t. No one will.
4. Minimalism Makes Life Easier
Getting rid of your crap opens up your schedule and your life to new and incredible opportunities that are otherwise unavailable when you are constantly caught up in and worried about all of your “stuff.” While this might be hard to understand, especially if you come from a hyper-materialistic society, minimalizing your life can be one of the best things you can do.
Sell or donate the things you don’t use and see what sort of adventures you get into when you can keep all of your possessions in one suitcase. Or better yet, do what Rolf did and travel without a suitcase!
Mas Sajady has always been intuitively gifted. Like many others, he tried to hide or ignore his highly intuitive nature so he could “fit in”. It is for this reason Mas has always strongly advised parents to support children who have similar affinities. It literally took Mas two near death experiences to awaken and embrace his abilities.
He started working on clients professionally in November of 2009. Within less than a year, he had worked on over a thousand individuals who were drawn to him by referral.
Through his daily mediation sessions and frequent speaking engagements worldwide, Mas has been able to touch countless individuals around the world. Whether it is physical or emotional health, finances, relationships or spirituality, Mas can change your frequency in order to Be Limitless & enjoy 360° of Abundance in all aspects of your life.
“Change your frequency, change your life”
1. Set a Vision for Yourself
If you want to start creating an amazing life, have true fulfillment and start living a life that is on purpose, you first must develop a vision. Develop a vision that lights a spark in your eye and a fire in your belly, something that you can truly be passionate about, even if at first the vision is more focused on the external.
As you continue to grow and progress as a man, so too will your vision and the important thing is that you have a vision you are moving towards. If you begin to reach your vision and realize that it is not for you, then simply course correct and keep moving forward.
2. Fulfillment Doesn’t Come from External Sources
Society would have us all believe that fulfillment comes from the fancy cars, the big houses, the beautiful trophy wives and expensive trips to Italy, however, the truth is that fulfillment is something that is internal.
True fulfillment comes when your actions are aligned with your life’s purpose, it comes when you are whole as a man and actively contributing to making the world better.
An extra 0 at the end of your paycheck will not fulfill you. Becoming the best version of yourself and following your vision will.
3. Try as Many Things as Possible
Life is short and full of possibility. Seek to try as many things as you possibly can. Actively pursue new and exciting experiences and things that will challenge your perception of the world. Become a “yes man” when it comes to new things and never turn your nose up at an experience because it is weird of out of your comfort zone.
4. Complete Yourself First
Many people try to “complete” others or problems in their environments without first operating from a place of completion themselves. You see this when a young man dervies his identity from a woman he is dating or a high level executive finds all of his self worth from his business.
But what happens when the girl leaves and the business tanks?
You are left with a broken and incomplete man who is completely lost.
It is essential to your success that you start by working on yourself first. You need to become a self reliant, whole and complete man before you can truly impact the world in a great way.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you try and save those around you.
Neil Patel is a Seattle, Washington-based entrepreneur, angel investor, and analytics expert. He is best known for his work in digital marketing, and as the cofounder of the analytics companies KISSmetrics, Crazy Egg, and Quick Sprout
“When things are looking good, always remember that someone else out there always has it better than you. And when things are going badly for you, remember someone has it worse”
1. Do Not Operate from Emotion
One of the biggest mistake that people, especially entrepreneurs, make is that they operate from emotion and not logic. Like the opening success quote, it is important that you always remember that someone out there has it better and is kicking your butt at business, but someone out there also always has it worse and the failures you are facing are not life changing.
Stay grounded as a man in your decision making. Always take some time and breathe whenever you feel overwhelmed and simply think through the situation logically. (Something Andrew and many guests have suggested for controlling your emotions are cold showers and meditation.)
2. When You Are Young You Have Nothing to Lose
So often, young people allow fear to stop them from taking action without realizing one simple fact…. you have nothing to lose.
When you are a young single guy, without a mortgage, car payments, or child support to pay, you are free. So start your business. The best thing that can happen is that you succeed and make millions, the likely outcome is that you will make some money but it won’t be your big break, the worst thing is that you learn.
Is learning really that bad?
3. Keep Making Mistakes and Keep Learning
No matter where you are in business, always be learning. Look at every “failure” as an opportunity instead of a mistake. Each time that something doesn’t work or turn out how you want it to, you have the choice to decide to analyze the opportunity and learn from it.
And remember, the more you learn, the more you earn.
4. Business is a Game; Play a Game You Enjoy
No matter what business you are in, it is all a game. A game that you should be playing to win, but a game no less. Be sure that you are playing a game that you enjoy.
If you are in a business that you don’t enjoy, you are setting yourself up for failure before you begin. Succeeding in life and business is hard, it’s significantly harder if you aren’t passionate about working ridiculous hours, staying up late, waking up early, and making sacrifices.
5. Focus on One Idea and Go All or Nothing
When you are first starting out in entrepreneurship, it’s very easy to get sucked into a million different projects and gigs without focusing on one to master.
Find something that you enjoy and freaking crush it! Go after it with everything you have got, get laser focused and devote everything you can to it. Then, and only then will you truly succeed.
Bob Schwenkler is the creator of Advanced Sexual Stamina for Men and host of Sex the Podcast. Bob and his amazing girlfriend Natalie help men and women, singles and couples, have the best sex of their lives and experience playful, deeply connected relationships. Click here to learn more about Bob and his work.
“Your only real choices are to open fully and receive their gifts or crucify them and be relieved of their force…But you must be willing to feel your heart’s terrors and wounds or else you will close and protect yourself, striking back at the source of openness you most yearn to become”~ David Deida
1. Open Up to Your Masculine for Better Sex
If you want to truly open a woman up and allow her to fully feel you and be fully present with you, you need to drop into your masculine. This means taking the charge and leading, being sexually confident and owning your desires.
Stop pussying out about the things you want in your sex life and start unashamedly going after them. Don’t feel shame about your sexuality and your desire for women. Own it, be honest with them about it, and project it out into the world. Not only will this free you, but it will free your woman to be fully present with you.
2. Sexual Performance Isn’t About Sexual Performance
Sexual performance issues are never actually about sexual performance. They are the symptom of a deeper issue at play in your life causing you to feel some form of sexual shame or anxiety.
Whether it is a sex negative upbringing or religious background, feelings of sexual unconfidence, or merely not being present and being completely in your head, sexual issues are rarely actually physical.
3. Get in Touch with Your Body
The best way to get better in bed is to get in touch with your body first before getting in touch with a woman’s body. Start practicing yoga and meditation, breathe into your balls, dance, run, laugh, get outside and run around. Do anything that takes you out of your chair and puts you in touch with your being, your body, and nature.
Doing this will not only result in better sex, but also a better quality of life.
Jolie Dawn is an author, speaker, and wild visionary. Through her own journey of spirituality and self-discovery, along with thousands of hours of training, Jolie has discovered her innate ability to set people free from the confines of limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging habits, so they can create a life and business that truly thrives.
Jolie has fearlessly built her own platform to share her message through her popular Inner Goddess Unleashed Summit and also her retreats, online programs, and one-on-one programs. She has attained smashing success in guiding women through her signature process to help them remember their limitless potential so they can start taking immediate action on their dreams.
“You win just by playing”
1. Location is Important
One of the most important factors in your success is your location, both physical and social.
If you are living in a small town that is filled with fast food “restaurants”, bars, and walmarts, it is going to be much more difficult to stay healthy and fit and find a like minded community than if you are living in at the beach with yoga studios and juice bars on every corners.
If you are living in a retirement community full of baby boomers, you will find it difficult to find young entrepreneurs to share ideas with and create incredible businesses with. However, if you are living in a large, vibrant city, full of startups and entrepreneurs, you will find success comes much more easily.
If you set yourself up to live in a location that is conducive to your goals and you surround yourself with loving and supportive people who will push you and force you to grow, nothing can stop you!
2. Play the Host
Whenever you are struggling to find like minded individuals, or to find groups that you feel you fit into and want to be a part of; play the host. Invite as many people as you can to something you have put together and executed, especially individuals you respect and admire.
Start taking the initiative and creating and leading events locally to get those people together, not only will you meet great new people, but those people will respect you more because they will see you as the leader and creator of a group that they regularly enjoy attending.
3. Embrace Your Purpose More than Your Relationships
Your purpose ALWAYS comes before your relationships.
You were put on this earth to do amazing things, to create world changing movements, to help take people’s lives in a radically different direction. Your relationships are just a small part of that, they are not the whole.
No matter how amazing you think a woman is, she does not come before your purpose, and if she is a woman of character who loves and respects you as a man, she will never want to.
4. Take Care of and Follow Your Body
Your body is the key to everything. Take care of it and respect it, and you will live a full and joyful life. Disrespect it and treat it like a trash heap instead of a temple (or playground depending on your adventure levels) and you will feel the pain of your choices.
Fill your body with good food, good exercise, and good sleep and stay in tune with it through practices like yoga and meditation, and it will serve you throughout your life.
Take care of your body, it’s the only one you’ve got.
Jeff Spadafora is the Director of Global Coaching Services and Product Development for The Halftime Institute. He spent 20 years as a leadership and executive development consultant for Fortune 1000 companies such as Ford Motor Company, Sears & Roebuck, Compuware, Domino’s Pizza, Visteon, Northern Trust Bank, Helene Curtis, and Sky Chefs.
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of your life, the full potential of your soul will never emerge.”~Henry Van Dyke
1. Success Will Not Fulfill You
In today’s materialistic and ego driven society, we are incepted from birth with the idea that buying more stuff and achieving higher status will lead to joy and fulfillment. But as anyone who has ever been to the top will tell you, this is simply not true.
While it is true that achieving goals, improving your material comfort, and reaching new heights of social prestige will increase your momentary happiness, this path does not offer any sort of contentment or joy in the long term. It results in a never ending quest to recreate the dopamine high that is released every time that you hit a new tax bracket.
2. Giving Yourself Away is the True Path to Gaining Everything
While living a life in pursuit of excess material wealth won’t lead to fulfillment, living a life in pursuit of generosity and impact, and legacy will.
If you truly wish to live a life of fulfillment and joy, not just momentary happiness and brief episodes of ecstasy, you must start by giving yourself to a cause bigger than yourself. You must find a passion and a calling that makes it difficult for you to stay in bed in the mornings because you are so excited about how you will get to change the world.
As cliche and trite as it may sound, finding a calling that is about a bigger picture than just yourself is the true path to success. Perhaps at this moment, you can’t find that calling or simply don’t know how you want to impact the world.
This is fine.
Start with simple things: Volunteer at a local habitat for humanity, give away 10-15% of your income to a cause you believe in, or even just call your grandparents from time to time. Find things to do that remind you that you are a small part of a whole, find things that let you serve and give without any expectations.
Give yourself away and you will gain everything.
3.You Need to Line Up your Core, Capacity, and Context
Similar to the four pillars, the Three C’s are the essentials of life that must be in alignment for you to be living a “10” life.
This is who you are, what your mission is, and what you stand for. To have a well defined “core” (in the sense of success and fulfillment, not your abs), you must define your virtues, your beliefs, and your character traits that will remain unwavering no matter how strenuous the external circumstances become. (also called NUTS or Non-negotiable, unalterable terms by Wayne Levine) And you must also discover and be actively pursuing what you believe to be your calling and purpose in life.
This is how you are showing up in each area of your life, it’s about maximizing your potential. Are you staying in the best shape you can physically? Are you being the best husband, father, friend, son, or brother that you can relationally? Are you connected with whatever your definition of God is? (Or if you are an atheist, have you done your research and do you have peace about the question of God?)
This is where you are working towards your calling and purpose. Do you need to move jobs, cities, or countries? Do you need to stay where you are and simply work change how you are showing up?
Only you can answer these questions, and it is imperative that you take the time to do so lest you work your whole life away on something that you realize (too late) was never in line with your calling in the first place.
4. Busyness and Comfort are Your Two Greatest Enemies
The two greatest enemies to success and fulfillment are not laziness or greed or ignorance, but busyness and comfort.
Busyness and comfort are malicious and sneak into your life slowly, without any obvious signs, but once they are in, they slowly and surely convince you that you are ok at your current level because there isn’t the pain necessary to elicit change.
When you are comfortable, it is difficult to find a real reason to change your lifestyle or pursue dreams, and when you are constantly busy, you never have the time to sit down and ask these questions in the first place.
Don’t allow busyness or comfort to rob you of your destiny. Take time to evaluate where you are in life with an open and unbiased mind. Go down the rabbit hole and it is likely that you will come out of the other side with a better understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the actions required to achieve it.